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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24043072">The Harmony of Old Souls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alilloki3s3i3/pseuds/Alilloki3s3i3'>Alilloki3s3i3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Past Child Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:21:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>63,555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24043072</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alilloki3s3i3/pseuds/Alilloki3s3i3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is the singer and lead guitarist in a new popular band, Frost City. His girlfriend has supported him in the past, but their relationship has now become one he feels stuck in. Emily is a young preschool teacher who loves art and music. When her best friend has tickets to one of her favorite bands, what could happen?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Frost City</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an AU story I thought of while watching "Only Lovers Left Alive." This story has no connection to that movie, but that is where the idea of Loki as singer and guitarist came from. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but the way I am envisioning it, it will most likely be slow burn. </p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or any of the Marvel characters. The characters I own and have created are: Emily, Rebecca, Amanda, Mark and a few other minor characters.</p><p>Please don't copy to another site.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The singer and lead guitarist of the band, Frost City, strummed his black acoustic guitar for the thousandth time that afternoon. Leaning back into the old rugged couch he hummed along to the chords he was diligently trying to adjust to perfection. His long pale fingers delicately plucked along each note that softly echoed in the cheap secluded motel room. He didn’t need anything fancy, not that he couldn’t afford it, but he just wanted a small quiet area to finalize the music for next week’s concert. His shoulder length raven black hair fell into his face as he leaned over to write down another possible line to the verse he was creating. While brainstorming for words for the last part of the song, his left bare foot tapped the floor, keeping beat. His brow furrowed as he bit his guitar pick in deep concentration, but was startled as the door to his hotel room flew open and slammed shut. </p><p>“Hello, sweetheart, miss me?” The familiar teasing tone of his girlfriend filled the previously soft instrumental music of his guitar. Loki met Rebecca when he had just started being noticed for the music industry almost two years ago. His band was still new, but seemed like it was growing everyday in popularity. Rebecca had flirted quite shamelessly with him and offered to buy him a drink. Loki loved the attention and didn’t think twice about going. It wasn’t that he liked to be the center of attention, but rather he desired connection and companionship. His band mates were great, but he craved to belong to someone, and to have someone belong to him. Eventually when they started dating, Rebecca couldn’t keep her hands off him. She came to almost every concert he had and told him how proud she was of him. His heart had swelled with the praise that had once been so rare for him to receive. Every now and then she’d ask to borrow some money. Wanting nothing else but to please his woman, Loki always gave her the money when she asked for it. The last few months however, she came to less of his concerts, but continued, if not increased in asking to borrow more money. The long blonde haired and curvy girlfriend swayed her hips salaciously further into the room. With her newly bought navy blue heels she was almost six foot. Her long tan legs were exposed all the way to her upper thighs where her dark jean shorts started. A loose red cotton v-neck crop top mostly covered her large voluptuous breasts.</p><p>A vulnerable and confused expression adorned Loki’s face as he stared up at her. He wondered why she had come so early. Yes, he had mailed her the hotel card key, but she wasn’t expected for another two days. They had agreed on that...hadn’t they? His wide green eyes met her bright blue eyes with long fake lashes. He removed the pick from his mouth and tossed it on the coffee table in front of him. It landed among the pages of music and scribbled lyrics on various note pads he had spent hours on.</p><p>“Rebecca! Of course I’ve missed you, darling, but…” His voice was soft and surprised.</p><p>“But, what?” Curious bright blue eyes became icy as they narrowed. She made her way to the brown beat down couch he sat on. Plopping herself right beside him and bumping his guitar almost off his lap. Carefully, Loki grabbed his guitar and placed it to lay upright against the couch so he could face Rebecca properly.  Loki turned, but found his eyes drawn to a place lower than her face. He glanced down at her intentionally exposed cleavage as she leaned into him. Swallowing dryly, he brought his eyes back up to her face that now formed a sly knowing grin.</p><p>Clearing his throat Loki tried to explain and find the misunderstanding. “I thought we had agreed that you would allow me this weekend alone to finish the song that I have to perform for next week. I am almost done, but the chords aren’t quite how I want them, and the second to last verse is-“</p><p>“Oh, you workaholic!” She over dramatically sighed and rose to sit herself sideways on his lap. Forcefully she took his face in her hands and smashed her thin red stained lips over his. Pulling back with a loud smack of their lips, she smiled at him. Loki had grabbed her hips at the force of the sudden kiss to make sure she didn’t fall off his lap. She began mindlessly running her fingers through his hair. “Why must you keep yourself locked away from me in this run down hotel? Hm? I’m sure we could find you a nice cozy place at home where you can scribble out your silly songs.” She glanced down at the disarray of papers and empty coffee cups littering the small table. Loki felt a sharp stab in his chest at hearing his life’s work being summed down to “silly songs.” She pouted pathetically and wiggled her bottom in his lap. Loki sighed. Bringing his hand up he ran it over his face in frustration.</p><p>“Rebecca, shit. I <em> need </em> to get this done. I have to submit the music and lyrics to the rest of the band by Monday morning, otherwise we can’t perform Friday. Please darling, I promise I will make it up to you.” He looked at her pleadingly. He couldn’t believe that she had shown up here days early even after he had stressed to her the importance of needing alone time to finish the music for the concert next Friday. He was already a few weeks behind and now he promised his band mates he’d have it all done by the end of this weekend.</p><p>Giving a borderline rough tug on his raven locks, Rebecca forced his head at an awkward tilt as she placed her lips against his ear. “Well I’m here aren't I? So I guess you can make it up to me now,” She sensually whispered. Rebecca brought her hands up to rest on both of his shoulders as she stood up and wrapped her legs around each side of his thighs, successfully straddling him. Loki would never say it aloud, but in that moment, he felt like an insect caught in a spider’s web. </p><p>………………………………………………</p><p>“Justine this is wonderful!” The preschool teacher, Emily, enthusiastically encouraged from her crouched position. She gently smiled at the now eye-level proud 4-year-old holding up his self-made portrait of his family. She scanned over his drawing of little yellow circles for heads and various colors for rectangular bodies. A small brown and black scribbled circle with 4 lines drawn at the base was colored right next to the drawn people and made her pause. Ah, it must be a pet. This being her second year teaching, Emily has learned the rare skill of interpreting the drawings of small children.</p><p>Pointing to the scribbles in question she asked, “And is this a little furry friend of yours?”</p><p>His high squeaky voice eagerly affirmed her assumption, “Yep Ms. Fawn! My puppy, Wover!” His excitement and adorable pronunciation warmed Emily’s heart.</p><p>Smiling, Emily stood back up straightening her knee length blue skirt. “Well Rover is very lucky to have you as his friend isn’t he?” The little one nodded enthusiastically. Emily glanced at the clock and noted it was soon time for her 19 children to go home for the weekend. Clapping her hands to get all the 4-year old’s attention, she walked to the front of her colorful classroom. “Alright children, I am very proud of the beautiful family portraits you made! Your parents will love them. We have time for one song before we leave for the day.” Her overly enthusiastic and joyful voice always held the children’s attention quite well. Immediately the children all scrambled to cap their markers and made their way to sit on the ABCs rainbow carpet in front of the wooden rocking chair where their teacher now sat with a guitar. </p><p>Little giggles and excited faces faced Emily. “Okay children, we will take a vote! We can sing Days of the Week, Colors of the Rainbow, or Five Little Ducks.” Eventually the vote led to Five Little Ducks. Loudly strumming her guitar, Emily’s clear melodic voice began the song with 19 little voices singing right along with her. She paused and had the children tell her how many ducks were left each time the number changed. Emily loved music and the arts. She actually minored in art when she graduated from the university two years ago. Although she loved painting and studying music from the geniuses like Beethoven and Mozart, teaching was and would always be her passion. </p><p>When all the kids had been picked up, she found her way over to her desk. If she could call it that. Her children had given her so much art work over the course of the school year that it took over her work area. She just didn’t have the heart to throw any of it away. Scribbled drawings and finger paint taped to every part of her desk and bulletin added to the organized colorful chaos in her classroom. Grabbing her light spring jacket, she took her phone out of her pocket and saw she got a message from her old college roommate.</p><p><b> <em>1:13 pm. Amanda:</em> </b> <em> OHHHHHHH MY GOOOOSH!! :D Ur not gonna frekin believe what I got us for next Friday?! </em></p><p>Emily chuckled at her friend’s dramatic text. Amanda was coming to visit Emily next Friday for the weekend, and she was definitely the more wild one of the two friends.</p><p><b> <em>3:03 pm. Emily:</em> </b> <em> Haha. I’m scared to ask...what? </em></p><p><b> <em>3:04 pm. Amanda:</em> </b> <em> I GOT US TICKETS FOR FROST CITY!!!! :D  </em></p><p>Emily was not expecting that. She was stunned. Frost City was a relatively new band that she had told Amanda about. The music was so unique. The song lyrics were always laced with double entendres and metaphors. So beautiful and deep unlike most of today’s garbage. And the singer. His voice was so genuine and raw. Smooth, deep, and so full of passion. Not even all of the band's songs had lyrics, some of their best hits were instrumental. The singer was also a guitarist. She held major respect for his talent being a little bit of a guitarist herself. </p><p><b> <em>3:08 pm. Amanda:</em> </b> <em> Ummmm...Hello? U didn’t faint rightI? :)  </em></p><p><b> <em>3:09 pm. Emily:</em> </b> <em> How on earth did you manage that??? Thank you so very much! How much do I owe you? That couldn’t have been cheap.  </em></p><p><b> <em>3:10 pm. Amanda</em> </b> <em> : Girl, don’t even worry about it! I got them 4 free. Mark is dating Sif, I believe she’s the drummer? Idk. But I guess Mark had 2 extra tickets from her and he gave them to me of course. I &lt;3 my cousin :)  </em></p><p>Emily couldn’t believe it. When did Amanda's cousin meet Sif? Emily knew that he was a sound system guy, so perhaps they met that way. Either way, she was beyond excited. She couldn’t remember the last time she went out for a concert. Maybe sophomore year of high school?</p><p><b> <em>3:12 pm. Emily:</em> </b> <em> Thanks so much Nanda banana &lt;3. Thank Mark for me too! I will see you one week from today. Safe travels! Love you. </em></p><p><b> <em>3:13 pm. Amanda:</em> </b> <em> Really??? Of all my nicknames...LOL. Kay, will do Emmy, love ya 2. </em></p><p>When Emily made it home to her tiny apartment, she curled up like a cat on her turquoise couch buried neck deep in a white fluffy blanket. Her right arm peeking out to hold her newest novel, and her left hand only leaving the warmth of the blanket to turn the page. Although she usually was able to be swept away into the world of literature, her mind kept wandering back to the exciting news from Amanda. She was actually going to see one of her favorite bands perform. Little did she know how it would change her life forever. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nice to Meet You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A lot of character development, but yes, Emily and Loki meet :)<br/>Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Six hours until show time. Loki had no idea how, but he was able to finish and polish up the music and lyrics last weekend. Sleep deprivation may not be enough of a term to cover his current situation, but as he gulped down another coffee, he put his sleep worries aside. He squatted down to unbuckle the case to his prized Gibson Les Paul electric guitar as Sif walked into the prep room. </p><p>“Hey, guys. Can I ask a favor?” Sif asked as she grabbed her drum sticks, throwing one into the air and catching it repeatedly. Loki nodded his head, and looked up to her as everyone else did as well. </p><p>“So, my boyfriend is bringing two friends to the concert tonight, is it cool with you guys if they meet up with us after we perform?” Loki frowned as he thought of the last time “friends” of the band met after a concert. He didn’t appreciate the loud squeals or having a security guard called in to pry a 17-year-old girl off of him. Fandral, the second guitarist in the group, later apologized to him. Apparently he hadn’t realized the girl was so young or that she’d bring her friends backstage with her.  Sif could clearly see Loki’s hesitancy. “Loki, I promise, they aren’t gonna attack you with kisses like last time.” Laughter erupted from Volstagg, the base in the band, and from Fandral as they recalled that unpleasant memory for Loki. </p><p>Loki half-heartedly rolled his eyes and joked, “Very well Sif, but if I have to peel another screaming teenager off my body, you all will be looking for a new singer.” After a few more laughs, the group got serious and set up for rehearsal. They had already practiced separately throughout the week on their own parts that Loki had given them last Monday, but this was only the second time now practicing the new music all together. Most of the songs for this concert they had already performed together, but the last three were the new songs that were responsible for Loki’s lack of sleep the past few weeks. </p><p>After hours of practice, the group was munching on some McDonald's that Mark, Sif’s boyfriend, kindly picked up for everyone. </p><p>Fandral, with a mouthful of mcdouble, broke the silence of hungry eaters. “Lokes, in the last song, your E minor chord with my D sharp sorta clashes a bit don't cha think?</p><p>Loki looked over to him with one dark brow raised still chewing his snack wrap. He, unlike Fandral, politely waited till he swallowed to speak. “...And?”</p><p>Fandral lightly scoffed. “And, why? How’bout I just change it to an A sharp. It might clash less.” Fandral stood up from his seat and went to his Fender Stratocaster guitar and played the chord, waiting for Loki’s approval. Loki pursed his lips in thought. Eventually frowning and slightly shaking his head, no. </p><p>“It’s supposed to clash, Fandral. It makes the following chords stick out more, like the resolution to a painful enduring. Besides, you sing the chorus with me, an uplifting and motivating chord would nullify the effect of the lyrics.” Fandral nodded as he sat back down, knowing there could be no argument made. He stuffed a handful of fries in his mouth as he attempted to say, “Okie dokie, Loki.” As Loki sipped from his straw, he playfully narrowed his eyes at Fandral while crumpling up his wrapper and tossing it at his face.  </p><p>“Okay boys, settle down. We have 2 hours until we’re on.” Sif called out from where she sat. Mark’s arm was around her shoulders along the back of the couch. </p><p>“So, Sif, tell us about these mystery friends that we are meeting tonight,” Volstagg asked crinkling his wrapper and throwing it in a bag. Loki perked up, himself being curious as well. Sif looked over at Mark encouraging him to answer. </p><p>“Well one of them is my cousin, Amanda. She’s great, you’ll love her. She calls it how it is and doesn’t take anyone’s shit. Then there’s her college roommate-”</p><p>“College? I thought you said they weren’t teenagers?” Fandral chimed in. Loki’s mind echoed the same concern. He glanced up at the wall clock. Rebecca was supposed to be here an hour ago, although she did say she had errands to run beforehand. Maybe those were just taking her longer. He chuckled to himself as he thought about the irony. When he asks for her, she’s elusive, but when he needs alone time, she’s stuck on him like glue. Bringing him back to the moment was Mark’s laugh. </p><p>“Nah, they graduated a couple years ago. They’re grown women with jobs and stuff. Just 4 or 5 years younger than us. Anyway, I don’t know much about her friend, but the times we met back when I visited Nanda in college, she was super sweet. A shy little thing.”</p><p>……………………………………</p><p>“EMILY!” Amanda squealed and ran towards her best friend.</p><p>“AMANDA!” The two friends hugged each other tight before separating in laughter. It felt like no matter how old they got, they would forever be children at heart together. Emily helped carry Amanda’s stuff into her apartment and set it down near the longest couch in her living room. </p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want the bed? I’d understand with all the hours of driving.” Emily softly grunted as she lugged the last suitcase that was almost her size into the living room. Emily silently wondered why on earth her dear friend needed two large suitcases and a travel bag for a weekend stay, but knowing it was Amanda, she didn’t put much thought into it. Amanda gave her a pointed look raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow at her. </p><p>“I don’t care how many hours I drove my ass here, you are not giving up your bed for me. Also, not to be rude Em, but your bed is literally half the size of mine at home. Chances are I’d roll myself right off the thing.” </p><p>Giggling, Emily teased, “but you’re such a heavy sleeper, would you really even notice?”</p><p>“Ha ha. Very funny. Ugh.” Amanda threw herself down on the couch, her bed for the weekend. Lazily sliding her phone screen on, her eyes widened comically. “Holy shit! Em, it’s already 5:15, the concert starts in less than 2 hours.” </p><p>“Yes! I am aware of the time, but I’m not going to rush you, you just got here a mere half hour ago. The arena the concert is held in is only a 20 minute drive, I punched it into the GPS.”</p><p>“Great! Logistics are taken care of, now the fun part.” Amanda wiggled her eyebrows at Emily, who gave her a questioning expression. “What are we lovely women going to wear to the freakin FROST CITY CONCERT?” Yelling the last part in excitement, Amanda rose up from the couch and made her way to Emily’s small bedroom. Emily shook her head with a smile as she followed, knowing exactly where Amanda was headed. </p><p>Sure enough, she walked in and Amanda was pulling out her clothes that had been neatly on their hangers. Three outfits were already cascaded over her quilt covered twin bed. “Oh yes!” Amanda took out one of the most modern looking dresses Emily had and held it up in front of her. “This is the one!” Emily sighed and grabbed the hanger holding the light blue casual dress. She had bought it thinking she’d have the courage to wear it somewhere, but had no opportunity for such an occasion. It wasn’t that it wasn’t modest, but the off the shoulders and the tight waistline made her slightly uncomfortable. She hated bringing attention to herself. Often hearing comments, ‘My God, do you even eat?’ or ‘real women have curves, honey.’ Snapping out of her self consciousness, Amanda cleared her throat. </p><p>“Emmy, look at me. I know that look, are we really going back there?” </p><p>Emily giggled and protested, “No! I just haven’t worn the dress yet. I’m okay.” Amanda narrowed her eyes in silent evaluation at her and finally nodded her head. </p><p>“Okay, cause I distinctly remember we made a promise to each other. We weren’t going to give a shit about what society says women should look like. I told you the next person to tell me not to eat so much would find my pizza shoved down their fucking throat. And you, you said that if someone slashes your natural petite bone structure…” She paused intentionally waiting for Emily to remember her promise.</p><p>“I’d hold my head up high and politely tell them they are a terrible excuse for a human being.” Amanda laughed.</p><p>“Yeah, and then her best friend would still shove pizza down their throat.” Emily laughed at Amanda’s extra comment. It felt so good having someone here with her. She missed the laughter and obscene things that flew out of Amanda’s mouth. </p><p>“What about you? What are you wearing tonight?” </p><p>“Well, I brought most of my closet cause I couldn’t decide, but I think I will wear my black crop top and red leather pants.” Emily slightly frowned in confusion. Amanda’s insecurity was showing off her skin. </p><p>“And, you're comfortable with that?” Emily softly asked. Amanda chuckled.</p><p>“Hell no! But you’re slightly uncomfortable with the dress right?” Emily nodded. “So, girls stick together. We will both be stepping out of our comfort zones while looking fabulous. I will proudly show my rolls and curves to the world, and you will not cower under one of your grandma’s cardigans.” Emily playfully stuck her tongue out at her, but eventually agreed. As they were getting ready, Amanda suggested listening to music like they did in their college dorm. Emily agreed enthusiastically, but as Amanda was about to play spotify from her phone, Emily darted out of the room. </p><p>Opening up the antique cabinet in her living room, Emily pulled out Van Morrison - Blowin Your Mind vinyl and placed it on the platter of her record player. Placing the stylus against the spinning record, music filled the apartment. Smiling, Emily swayed her hips and snapped her way back to the bedroom.</p><p>“EMMY! I meant something from the 21st century, what is this from, the 50s?” Amanda was laughing as she watched Emilly pick up her hair brush from her dresser.</p><p>Emily’s eyes playfully narrowed. “It’s 1967, and be nice, I love this song.” She defended as the lyrics started. Emily dramatically sang into the brush as if it were a microphone, making Amanda throw her head back in laughter. Despite her friend goofing off, Amanda always thought Emily’s voice was a rare gem. If only Emily saw that. </p><p>
  <em> My brown-eyed girl </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You, my brown-eyed girl </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Do you remember when we used to sing </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da… </em>
</p><p>The two women danced, giggled, and reminisced the whole time they got ready.</p><p>“Oh Amanda! We are actually going to hear them live! I don’t care where we sit or stand, or if we can’t see them, as long as we can hear them.”</p><p>“Oh don’t you worry Em, you’ll see them.” Amanda smiled and did her very best and succeeded at keeping her secret surprise. </p><p>…………………………………</p><p>Loki stepped over the various cords running along the floor to head backstage. He threw the shoulder strap of his instrument over him and skimmed over the frets of his guitar, silently going over the chords in his head. Once he was on stage and playing, the nerves melted away. But it always was the screams of the crowd that made his stomach flip. Maybe it was from his childhood, but he didn’t particularly enjoy being screamed at, even if the screams were in admiration. Bringing his wrist up to his face in the dim lighting, he saw his watch read 6:15. He sighed. He guessed it would be another no show for Rebecca. Less than an hour till they were on and she hadn’t even texted him. </p><p>Being backstage he heard the progression of murmurs build to a constant roar of voices as the people piled in the arena. Loki inhaled deeply and exhaled. They had a few more performances in this area, so tonight he’d be heading back to the hotel. </p><p>Eventually the gang was now setting up for going on. If the crowd was silent, one could have probably heard the tuning of the various instruments backstage. Twisting a peg to his electric guitar, Loki walked out on stage. Heart thumping quite hard in his chest, he gazed out at the sea of people. With the bright warm white lights aimed at him, most people appeared as jumping hazy shadows. He cleared his throat and approached the mic stand. </p><p>“Hello.” One single word of Loki’s deep smooth voice echoing across the arena had the crowd absolutely screaming. Loki smiled to hide his usual stage nerves. Shouts of ‘we love you Frost City!’ or ‘I love you!’ sounded from different parts of the arena. </p><p>“Well we…” Loki stretched out his arms on either side of him slightly looking behind him and indicating the rest of the band as part of that we. “Love you all too. We wouldn’t be here without you fans, so thank you.” His voice was still soft, but projected over the shrill screams and squeals. “Tonight we have our classic songs I am sure you all know. And we also have some new ones never performed before. Please enjoy. Thank you.” He took a step back and Sif counted off with her drum sticks. </p><p>…………………………………</p><p>Amanda can only recall a few times when her dear friend smiled so brightly. Emily’s excitement had her jumping and swaying to the beat. The crowd was doing it right along with her as the powerful sound waves echoed off the stage. </p><p>Emily couldn’t believe it. If last week someone had told her that she’d be at a Frost City Concert, she would have laughed and told them they were dreaming. But she wasn’t dreaming. This was real. Every now and then she had to jump or move slightly to the left or right because a tall person would lean into her view. But nothing obstructed her ears which mattered most to her. The glimpses she saw of Loki made her think he was the most beautiful creature on earth. He wore black jeans and a dark green t-shirt with a black opened leather jacket. His raven hair bounced and swayed with every turn and move of his head. Yes he was handsome beyond belief, but his expressions conveyed so much passion that it penetrated her soul. Nothing to her was more beautiful than genuine passion in music. Losing oneself to the notes and letting them carry one away. Loki’s vocal range was incredible. His low timbre voice was able to reach notes that most men had to hit in a falsetto. </p><p>As the concert went on, Amanda yelled over to her, “Well, is it everything you hoped for?” </p><p>Mostly going off of lip reading in the crazy loud room, Emily yelled back, “Even better!” </p><p>As one of the last songs ended, applause, whistling, and screaming filled the air. Emily watched as Loki approached his mic stand again. “This will be our final song for the night. It’s titled, Shadows.”</p><p>The music started off soft, but quite melancholy to Emily’s ears. Something about each chord pierced her heart.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Will you stay in the shadows with me? </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Will you tell me they're not real, that I have nothing to fear. </em> </b>
</p><p><b><em>Will you.</em></b> The music slowly builded as more percussion was added. The crescendo was halted and tapered off into a quick decrescendo .</p><p>
  <b> <em>Will you stand by me, even though I’m surrounded with illusions. </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Are you an illusion too?</em> </b>
</p><p><b> <em>It’s all dark, and I feel all alone.</em> </b> <em> *clashing chords* ‘ </em>Feel alone’ was sung with a harmony filled with such sorrow. </p><p>
  <b> <em>Bring me into the light.   </em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Won’t you be my light. </em> </b>
</p><p>Emily clung to every note and word and let it simmer into her mind and heart. And Loki’s expression as he sang! Emily was entranced, and felt broken hearted at the same time. Loki’s face was scrunched up in anguish as he clutched the mic in a vise like grip. The song was filled with almost ear offending clashes, but eased into a beautiful harmony at the end of each clash. The lyrics, they were despairing, but always ended with a flicker of hope, of reaching out to the light. It was quite beautiful.  At the end the lights faded. Another round of applause and screams. </p><p>“Well that was fanfuckingtastic! Wow.” Amanda loudly said over her ringing ears. Emily tilted her head back and laughed at that colorful phrase. </p><p>“Most definitely! Couldn’t have said it better myself.” After a bit, Emily kept trying to leave her seat, but every time she tried, Amanda would say, ‘Hold on!’ or ‘One minute Emmy.’ Emily wondered why they had to wait as the stage was being cleaned up already and the crowds had started to thin. Suddenly, ‘Just Dance’ by Lady Gaga erupted from Amanda’s phone. </p><p>“Finally!” She picked up her phone. “Hello, um you were supposed to call like ten minutes ago. Where should we meet you?” Emily frowned in confusion. Who were they meeting up with? “Okay, left main stage door? Kay, we will be there in literally one minute! Thanks, bye!” Amanda smiled a smile she only smiled when she was about to share what she referred to as, delicious gossip, or when she was going to unveil a major secret. Emily’s heart pounded as Amanda started dragging her up closer to the stage. Maybe Mark had wanted to give something to Amanda? He did work as a sound system guy for the band. </p><p>“A-Amanda, where are we going?” Emily wasn’t sure if they were allowed to be up this close, and yet they were still getting closer to one of the doors that led to what she assumed was backstage. </p><p>“Emily, Emily Emily,” Amanda singsonged. “Did you really think we just got this dressed up for only the concert?” They were at the door and Emily’s little hands were starting to shake from the adrenaline of thinking what was beyond those doors and why they stood outside of them. Amanda pounded on the door, and Mark came out holding two lanyards that read, ‘Backstage Pass.’ </p><p>Emily’s eyes widened. “Are those? Are we?” She couldn’t bring herself to raise her hopes of actually meeting them, but maybe she’d be able to see some of their instruments, or where they practiced. But as Mark led them through the dark hallway and into a practice room, Emily’s heart stopped. There in front of her were all the members of Frost City. Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, and Loki. </p><p>Amanda leaned into Emily’s ear and loudly whispered with a chuckle, “Told ya you’d see them.”</p><p>Emily opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was a barely audible squeak. </p><p>Mark began the introductions. “So, Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, Loki, this is my wonderful and pain in the ass cousin, Amanda.” The group chuckled while Amanda playfully smacked Mark upside the head. She then walked over and shook everyone’s hand while saying something jokingly negative about Mark. </p><p>Loki chuckled at the familial antics, but his focus was drawn to the little woman who had yet to be introduced, but didn’t seem to want to intrude or force her introduction. She couldn’t have been more than 5’ 2,” a whole foot shorter than him. She wore a sweet soft blue off the shoulder dress with little ruffled short sleeves that complimented her quite nicely in Loki’s opinion. Her left arm folded over her waist as she gripped her right forearm. He assumed it must be a nervous habit. He wanted to get closer to see what color her eyes were. They were dark, that’s for sure. She had plump pink lips and a button nose. Wavy layered dark brown hair cropped her rounded face. The longest layers reached just beyond her jaw line. As Emily looked over to Loki, she gasped seeing he was already staring at her. </p><p>Amanda walked back over to Emily. “And this lovely lady is my best friend, Ms. Emily Fawn.” All attention was on Emily now. As she did her best to force her nerves down, she walked over to the group. Outstretching her hand to officially meet the members of the band. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you!” She said and shook hands with Volstagg, Fandral, and Sif. Lastly was Loki. For some reason she couldn’t stop herself from slightly blushing as she reached her hand out to shake his. Loki extended his hand to the girl, and noticed how his large palm and long fingers engulfed her dainty hand. “Nice to meet you!” Her timid and sweet voice was pleasant to Loki’s ears. </p><p>“And it is a pleasure to meet you as well, Ms. Fawn.” Loki also took notice of her adorable blush and the way she found it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. However, when he did hold her eye contact, he realized that Emily had the most beautiful brown eyes he’d ever seen. </p><p>“Please, just Emily. I hear Ms. Fawn and I will start thinking I’m at school.” Emily smiled, but was internally freaking out. She never freaked out, not like this. None of it felt real. One of her idols in music literally shook her hand. She scolded herself acting like a crazy fan girl, but she also couldn’t help the way she felt. His hand was cool and soft. His voice was velvet as her last name passed from his lips. And why was it so difficult for her to look into those emerald eyes?</p><p>“Very well, Emily. And school?” Loki was curious. Perhaps she was a teacher. Though she looked as if she herself could still be in school. His first guess was confirmed. </p><p>“Ah, yes. I am a preschool teacher. I currently have 19 students.” She said kindly with pride. Loki was about to ask her another question but as usual, was interrupted. </p><p>“There you are! Sweetheart, I thought you’d be...who are they?” Rebecca had burst into the room wearing a dress Loki had never seen before. Meaning she must have recently bought it...with his money. </p><p>“This is my cousin, and her friend. Hey, where were you, Rebecca? I thought Loki said you’d be here at our first rehearsal today?” Rebecca did not appreciate being accused or having people look down at her. Standing up to her full 5’ 11” in her usual styled heels, she walked over to Loki. Emily stepped backwards as the intimidatingly beautiful woman wearing a short dazzling sequence dress approached Loki. </p><p>Draping her arm over his shoulder, she defensively said, “I had things to do. I can’t just sit around here listening to you all tune your instruments all day. Besides, I did make it for some of the concert.” Loki looked at her with his dark brows raised in a slightly hopeful inquiry. </p><p>“And, what did you think?” He softly asked. For some reason he valued her opinion. Even though Rebecca didn’t know a lot about music.  Perhaps it was because they were in a committed relationship. </p><p>She pursed her lips in thought. “Well, besides loud, I thought you did amazing, baby.” She tilted her head up to kiss him on the lips. Not knowing who these other women were in the room, Rebecca found herself desiring to publicly claim what was hers. Loki didn’t like a lot of public affection since it made him feel vulnerable. So he leaned down for a quick peck, and then stepped away slightly. This didn’t go over well with Rebecca. “The last song however, was quite depressing. And some of the notes didn’t sound right. Either you or Fandral here, made a mistake.” Everyone was silent and avoided looking over at the couple who had tension radiating off them. Mostly from Rebecca. Bravely, or stupidly as Emily thought, she took a step forward. </p><p>“Actually, the chords were supposed to sound like that, it’s part of the chord progression. They clash, but then they are resolved in the following chords.” The look Rebecca gave her made her skin crawl. </p><p>“And he told you all this? Who are you to him?” Her disdain was palpable. No one in the room knew what to say to change the subject. </p><p>“I-I’m nobody. But I, well, I know music. And, the music complemented the lyrics perfectly in my opinion.” Emily’s heart was pounding. As she glanced over at Loki, she couldn’t read his expression, but it was very calculating. Not in judgment, but more of wonder. </p><p>“What did you think of the lyrics?” Loki needed to know her opinion for some reason. He was happily surprised to hear her intelligent music vocabulary and had a feeling it was just the surface to the timid girl. </p><p>Emily’s eyes widened at being asked so directly from the songwriter himself. “Well, they held a story. A longing to reach out and experience a new reality. They were perfectly in line with the instrumental piece. Um. It reminded me of…” Emily wondered if she was going to be mocked for this, but he did ask her thoughts. “It reminded me of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. The philosophical meaning behind the lyrics drew me in. It made me question things, and wonder about things. It wasn’t just about being in the shadows, but reaching out and wanting to escape the reality the person was in. To have someone reach in and pull them out into the light, into the reality they long for.” Emily felt like Loki’s eyes were piercing her soul. Not in a menacing way, more of an intense wonder or desire to know more. She didn’t quite know how to feel about it. Rebecca rolled her eyes and briskly walked off into another room, leaving everyone else. </p><p>Amanda watched the whole encounter and wanted to grab popcorn. She silently cheered Emily on during her explanation. Even Amanda found beauty in her words. She bit her lip quite hard to prevent herself from calling out, ‘See ya later, bitch’ to the rude blonde. She also did not fail to see the google eyes Loki and Emily made at each other. Amanda thought she might have to pull out her matchmaker hat. </p><p>The rest of the band was used to Rebecca acting like an entitled brat. However, no one had made her leave the room like that before. Mark, Amanda, and the rest of the band started conversing in their own group. Leaving Emily and Loki standing together, alone. </p><p>Emily looked apologetically at Loki as he still hadn’t said anything to her. “I apologize if I had said anything to offend your...girlfriend, wife?” Emily didn’t see a ring, but didn’t want to assume either. </p><p>The boys including Mark cackled at overhearing that. Loki narrowed his eyes over at them. He looked back at Emily as his eyes softened. “Just girlfriend. And you did nothing wrong, darling. She is just like that sometimes.” Emily’s stomach flipped at hearing that endearing name used for her. “You were right by the way.”</p><p>Emily looked up from where she had been staring at the ground in embarrassment. “What?” </p><p>Loki chuckled. “The Allegory of the Cave, Plato? You were right. That was my inspiration.”</p><p>Emily smiled widely up at him and giggled. “Glad to see someone still appreciates philosophy.”</p><p>Loki softly smiled and hummed appreciatively. “Not just philosophy my dear, but art, music, science, and many other things I appreciate.” Emily was hypnotized by his deep melodic tone. Loki swiftly scanned his eyes down her body and back up to her face. “Beauty is another appreciation of mine.” Emily’s heartbeat thumped loudly in her chest. </p><p>Loud laughter from the group next to them snapped them out of the moment. </p><p>Amanda briskly walked over to the odd ducks in the room, distinctly aware of the growing chemistry between the two. “Emmy, time to go. I parked where I’ll get a ticket if I don’t move my car in 5 minutes!” Emily sighed. It was sad seeing this beautiful dream now come to an end. </p><p>Mark yelled out, “You guys feel free to come back here anytime now, your passes are good for the whole tour.” Emily perked up at that. Maybe this dream could continue a little longer. Maybe she’d even be able to see some of their instruments or if she could hope that far, play some of their guitars. </p><p>“Bye everyone, wonderful concert, seriously, loved it! See ya later too shit head!” Amanda gave her farewell to the band, and one to Mark as well. She exited out the door. </p><p>The rest of the band started to head the other way after Amanda left and Emily was just starting to head out the way Amanda left. Loki lagged behind purposefully, curious about why he was so drawn to this little woman. Was it her alluring large brown eyes, her understanding of music, or the way she understood his philosophical inspiration? The main reason that kept coming to his mind was even though she was uncomfortable, she stepped in to defend his music. Defend him. </p><p>Before Emily could officially leave the room, Loki called out, “Emily, it was very nice to meet you, I’m sure we will meet again.” Emily gave him a smile and slight blush as she was just about to cross the threshold of the exit. She turned back to look at him one last time. </p><p>“Yes, I hope so! Nice to meet you.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading!<br/>As always, comments/kudos appreciated :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Children?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Takes place right after the concert. Loki and Rebecca have a conversation that leads to a very distressing time for Loki. Maybe he'll run into someone (Emily) who will ease his anguish a bit. Angsty chapter, just letting you know. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading, let me know what you think :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really hope this won't trigger anyone, but the warning is mostly due to a flashback Loki has. It will be italicized. Warning is sorta mentioned/referenced throughout the chapter, but just wanted to give readers a heads up. </p>
<p>WARNING: Past graphic child abuse and domestic abuse. Child abandonment.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rebecca had half-heartedly apologized when they got back to the motel and explained her reasoning for lashing out at Loki’s new acquaintances. He had assured her, as he had done many times in the past, although he may recognize another woman's beauty, he would always be faithful. Rebecca had accepted his claim, but was still on edge. She noticed ever since they got back, Loki wouldn’t shut up about the little girl in the blue dress. Rebecca rolled her eyes facing away from Loki as she shimmied out of her sequence dress. He was telling her yet another detail about <em> Emily. </em>She leisurely changed into her red silk pajama bottoms and a matching top. Rebecca kept her heels on though because she hated walking around hotel rooms barefoot. Loki had only taken off his leather jacket and threw it over the arm of the couch as they continued to talk. </p>
<p>“Really? She said 19 preschoolers? Oh that would just about drive me to my insanity.” Rebecca said as she laughed, desperately desiring a change in subject. Loki joined her laughter with his own breathy chuckles.</p>
<p>“Well, I agree 19 would be quite something, but one or two wouldn’t be the worst thing.” He replied while still grinning from his laugh. Rebecca shot her eyes over to him with a questioning expression that demanded an explanation. Loki cleared his throat. Since Rebecca had been with him for almost two years, he was planning to propose to her on their 2nd year anniversary of being together in 4 months. He imagined a romantic dinner with her favorite flowers. The years down the road as he would teach their children how to play the guitar. He promised himself he'd be a good father. Not like...him. “Well, don’t you want to be a mother someday?” She scoffed. </p>
<p>“Have you seen a pregnant woman, Loki? The stretch marks? That would absolutely ruin my body. And I have no interest in changing shit filled diapers or relearning the ABCs.” Loki silently cringed at that crass description of motherhood. “Don’t tell me you think about being a father?” </p>
<p>Staring down, he softly smiled as he envisioned a little one with black hair clad in nothing but a diaper crawling towards him. He saw himself scoop up the curious child and hold the babe close to his heart while hearing his laughter and happy squeals from the baby. He thought of -</p>
<p>“Your father wasn’t very nice, was he? And he left when you were what? 8 years old?” Her abrupt interruption of almost boredom and pure nonchalance as she said those words filled Loki with a deep hurt and confused anger. Before he could say anything though, she continued in mock sympathy. “You wouldn’t know the first thing about taking care of a kid much less being a father. What kid deserves a daddy like that. Hm?” Loki clenched his jaw and looked away from her. As much as he wanted to refute that, he really didn’t know the first thing about raising a child. “We’re not having children, Loki, that’s final.” </p>
<p>Silence filled the room. Loki let that silence be mourning for the children he now knew he’d never have. She slowly sauntered over to him with the click and clack of her stilettos filling the previous silence. When she stood in front of him, she wrapped her arms around his stunned stand still body. Loki was also desperately doing everything he could to not remember that awful evening so long ago that she freshly brought back to his mind. That following morning had changed his life forever. More so for the good, but the dynamic with his mother and brother was never the same. </p>
<p>Rebecca slowly ran her hands up and down his chest and brought them up to snake around his neck. She pulled herself flush against him. Using the heels to her advantage, she tilted her face upwards towards his ear. “Let’s go to bed now, baby.” </p>
<p>The words were said with such gentleness that it snapped Loki out of his thoughts. He let her drag him by his hand to their bed. She crawled over and on top of the bed, pulling back the comforter and sheets. She immediately kicked off her pajama bottoms, leaving her in matching red lacy panties. She sat kneeling on the bed and looked at her lover expectedly. Loki forcefully sighed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and indifferently shed himself of his black jeans. Sex was the last thing on his mind right now. “Becca, I’m not really in the mood,” Loki depressingly drawled. </p>
<p>“Shhh, baby. Let me take care of you.” She slowly crawled behind him, and carefully lifted his dark green shirt over his head, leaving a reluctant Loki in his boxers. She soothingly dragged her hands up and down his biceps and kissed between his shoulder blades. Still kneeling behind him as he sat on the edge of the bed, she started to massage his tense shoulders. A contented sigh left Loki, as he pretended that Rebecca’s soothing touch could fix all his problems. He began moaning and rolled his head back as she snuck her arms under his to run her hands up and down his torso, softly nibbling and kissing along his neck and back at the same time. Suddenly, Loki’s mind went to the little teacher he met. How sweet she was, what would her kisses feel like with those plump lips? Immediately he snapped himself out of those thoughts, not really sure of where they came from. </p>
<p>Gently, Rebecca pulled Loki towards her, encouraging him to lay down, which he willing did. She helped situate him on the pillow, and straddled him. She leaned forward and began kissing around his jaw, down his neck, his sternum, around his navel. Rebecca smiled to herself as she always knew his weak points to get him to comply. All one had to do for him was give him some genuine enough affection and he’d be putty in your hand. The soft moans Loki released were turning her on, but she knew he wasn’t quite ready for sex yet. So she just continued her trail of kisses around his hip bone. Dragging her tongue across the skin above the hem of his boxers, Loki jolted. His toned abdomen tensing with the sudden arousing act. </p>
<p>“Becca, I-” </p>
<p>“Shhh.” She crawled back up to hover her face just above his. Blond locks fell on either side of Loki’s head. Her blue eyes were soft, but her pupils were dilated. “Let me take care of you, sweetheart?” Loki stared into her eyes for a moment. Eventually he softly nodded his head in consent. Rebecca grinned in triumph and made her way back down his body while hastily discarding her pajama top. Loki stared up at the ceiling as his breath grew more labored. His mind was still trying to wrap his head around the fact he wasn’t going to be a father with Rebecca. What if he ended his relationship with her, and found a woman who’d want to have kids? Who would want to have kids with him though. Like Rebecca had said, he would probably be a terrible father. What woman would want such a broken man? No, he was going to stay with Rebecca. She loved him, and that would be enough. It would have to be. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Loki and Rebecca were now passed out from almost two hours of love making. Unfortunately though, every time Loki’s so-called father was mentioned, as he had been earlier that day, Loki’s mind would taunt him for the following days to come. Even in his sleep. </p>
<p>
  <em> “I DON’T FUCKING CARE! If I want to come home to a clean house, you are gonna have it spotless by the time I get here!” SLAP! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>  Little 8 year old Loki had been hiding, peeking his head around the corner as his parents argued. His heart was thudding hard and heavy in his tiny chest. His eyes wide with fright and worry for his dear mother. He could see his 12 year old older brother hiding behind the couch peering out with a similar expression. But when they both saw and heard their father, Odin, raise his hand and smack their beloved mother across the face, both boys jumped in the scene. Thor ran over and jumped on Odin’s back with an angry yell, “Leave mother alone!” His voice cracked with emotion. Loki had run over to his mother. “Mommy, are you okay? Ice helps! I’ll get you some ice.” Loki’s lip wobbled as he saw his mom hold her cheek with tears in her eyes.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Baby, go quickly to the bedroom and stay there until this is over, okay?” She urgently did her best to stay calm and keep her young son safe. Before Loki could take a step, he heard a sick thud and a loud outcry of pain. Mother and son looked over to see Thor holding his eye with a dark bruise already forming.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Odin! Leave the children alone, this is between you and me.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Oh it became between the children and I when they stepped into what was none of their damn business.” Odin stomped over to where Loki stood next to his mother. Loki felt like he was going to throw up as he stood there shaking and waiting for his father to start punching his face too. Instead, Odin sneered down at him with breath reeking of alcohol. “And this little runt, we should’ve never bought. Waste of our time and money. He sits in his FUCKING ROOM all day scribbling out STUPID FUCKING SONGS!” Spit flew down at Loki, who now had tears streaming down his face and another sick feeling in his stomach. Though this one wasn’t out of fear. Bought? He looked up at his mom.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “ODIN! How dare you! We agreed we’d never tell him.” His mother, Frigga, now had tears flowing down her face too. Loki frowned in confusion. Tell him what?  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “M-mommy, tell m-me what?” His answer was silence. Thor snuck behind the three of them to grab frozen peas from the freezer for his eye. It wasn’t the first black eye from his father, and he doubted it would be the last.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> So quietly that he almost didn’t hear, Frigga answered, “we adopted you Loki.” Time stopped for Loki. His breathing picked up as he really didn’t want to believe that Frigga wasn’t his mom.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Wha-what?” His shock and hurt leaving him unable to form a sentence.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “You were unwanted, thrown in an orphanage until Frigga wanted another kid we couldn’t have. Had I known you’d be such work.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Millions of emotions filled the 8 year old. His eyes darted back and forth trying to settle on one. The one he chose, anger. He screamed out and charged at Odin. “I HATE YOU! You’ll never be my father!” His little fists started beating against Odin’s beer belly before anyone could stop him.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Why you little piece of shit!” Odin growled low. Loki felt a forceful tug on the back of his shirt and felt his body be lifted into the air. He started kicking at Odin anywhere he could, blinded by a rage so rare in a child. So caught up in this rage, little Loki didn’t realize he had been carried into his bedroom. His mother quickly ran after him.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Odin, STOP! You’re gonna kill him, let him g-” His mother’s desperate pleading was cut short by Odin slamming and locking the door. He could hear his mother pound her fists against it. Loki started trembling again as he also heard a familiar clink of a belt buckle.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. P-please daddy.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Oh I’m daddy now, huh? I thought you said I could never be your father?” Odin pulled the belt from his pant loops and folded it over tightly. “Over the bed, boy.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Loki’s trembling increased and he almost started gagging at how nauseous his fear physically made him. No matter how much he tried to keep himself from crying, the tears ran down his face. “Please! I-I said I was s-sorry! You, you can be my d-daddy again. P-please. I’ll be a good boy now, I promise!”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Odin marched over and swiftly grabbed Loki’s tiny shoulder and threw him belly down on the edge of the bed. Loki started sobbing, knowing what was coming.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> THWACK “You waste my time.” THWACK “You waste my money.” THWACK “You're worthless.” THWACK “Undeserving of this house.” THWACK “Undeserving of the clothes on your back.” THWACK “Your parents didn’t want you. I don’t want you.” THWACK THWACK THWACK….. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The next morning, Loki whimpered and bit his lip as every move he made aggravated his very sore back and bottom. He limped into the main part of the house to find his mother staring at the front door, and Thor holding her hand. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>  “M-mommy? I-is da-Odin at work now?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Still turned away from Loki and staring at the door she solemnly replied, “No, baby. He left.”  </em>
</p>
<p>Loki kept his damp eyes squeezed tightly shut. He felt like if he opened them, he’d see Odin standing over him, gripping his belt. Two years until Loki would be in his 30s, but the fear and anger he had for his so-called father still made him feel like a scared little boy. He swallowed a choked sob and forced his eyes to open. Rebecca was laying with one arm up above her head, and the other across her stomach. The sheet twisted around her naked body like a vine on a branch. She looked so peaceful, as if she were incapable of the sharp and cruel retorts that often passed her lips. He slowly sat up. He rested his elbows on his knees, face in hands. He knew he needed to leave. Go somewhere, anywhere but where he had woken up from reliving his past through a nightmare. He picked up his discarded garments from the floor and dressed quickly. Glancing at the motel alarm clock, he saw it was 7:17 am. At least he hadn't woken up in the middle of the night. Grabbing the car keys off the nightstand and slipping on shoes, he swiftly left for the music arena where his instruments were. Leaving a sleeping Rebecca completely oblivious to the utter distress she had inadvertently caused her boyfriend. </p>
<p>………………………………</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Emily had left the apartment early at 7:00 am, leaving a note for Amanda on the fridge next to one of the paintings her student made. She had easily snuck passed Amanda and her loud snoring in the living room. She had never done something like this before, but as she drove to the arena from last night’s concert, she couldn’t bring herself to turn back. Her guitar in its brown worn leather case was laying in the backseat and the stage pass lanyard she wore last night was around her neck. Just once she supposed, it would be memorable to hear her voice and instrument echo across the walls of the empty acoustic arena. </p>
<p>She was happily surprised to find the main entrance unlocked. Probably due to another concert happening that night and wanting to make sure those setting up later that day would have access. Showing the security guard her pass, she carried her guitar case up into the main area filled with hundreds of empty seats. Gripping the guitar case handle, she took a few steps into the dim room and headed towards the stage. Glancing around she saw how she was the only soul in the enormous space. The silence felt almost eerie as she recalled the roar and screams of the crowds the previous night. Finally at the stage, she set her guitar up on the ledge. The stage itself was about four and a half feet off the ground. Hoisting herself up with her arms, she swung one of her legs up on the ledge, and rolled up onto the stage. Sitting up, she dangled her legs off the edge. </p>
<p>"Wow," she whispered in awe. From this view the hundreds of seats all directed at her. She glanced up and noticed the dozens of various sizes, shapes, and colors of the stage lights. Closing her eyes, she mindlessly ran her hands over the cool wooden stage floor. Thinking of how many talented musicians stood where she sat. Her mind then went to Loki. Remembering him up here bouncing his leg as he sang those beautiful notes. Opening her eyes with determination, she unbuckled her guitar case and pulled out her acoustic baby. She ducked under the shoulder strap, and secured her guitar in her lap. Biting her lip and looking around one more time, she ran her fingers down all the strings in one loud strum. She giggled hearing how it echoed across the arena. Tentatively, she brought her left hand over the frets, and let the music flow out of her. Thinking of what to sing, she absent-mindedly started humming, ‘Over the Rainbow.’ It was the very first song chords her grandma taught her how to play. Smiling to herself, she decided it was the perfect one to sing in her memory.</p>
<p>
  <em> Somewhere over the rainbow </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Way up high </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And the dreams that you dream of </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Once in a lullaby </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Somewhere over the rainbow </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Bluebirds fly </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And the dreams that you dream of </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Dreams really do come true </em>
</p>
<p>Powerful melodic voice rang through the air. Her voice's sweet vibrato and natural runs echoed off the walls. Starting to swing her feet and smile widely as she sang, Emily let herself go. Adding a few of her own notes in-between and repeating verses. </p>
<p>…………………………</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Loki stormed through the back entrance of the arena. He did his best to clear his mind, but knew the best way to do so would be through his instruments. They were secured in a practice room due to the weekend shows they had coming up in these next couple of nights. Music was always a distraction and outlet for him. One he desperately needed now. As he walked down the hall to the room he thought he heard music, but shook his head knowing he'd be the only one here besides the security guards and custodians. Unlocking the practice room door, he went in and grabbed his black acoustic guitar. He couldn't stop thinking of not only what Rebecca had said, but <em> how </em> she had said it. When he had first told her about his abusive past, she listened. Maybe she wasn't the most empathetic person, but afterwards when he was scared she'd leave him thinking less of him, she had hugged and held him. Leading to sex. Loki stopped walking down the hall, now holding his guitar. Rolling his eyes and huffing he realized that at his most vulnerable times with Rebecca, she had always been able to coerce him to having sex. No! She was just comforting him like last night, wasn't she? He bit his lip and shook off the disturbing thoughts as he kept walking towards the stage. </p>
<p>His heart dropped as he frustratingly realized...he wasn't alone. He knew he heard music! Peering out from backstage, he saw a girl sitting on the edge of the stage, playing guitar and singing. </p>
<p>
  <em> Oh, somewhere over the rainbow </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Way up high </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And the dreams that you dare to </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why oh, why can't I? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> If happy little bluebirds fly </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Beyond the rainbow </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Why, oh why can't I? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Loki's brow rose as he heard the natural runs and power behind the girl's voice. Very beautiful and almost hypnotic. She had sung such a classic overheard song, but made it her own. Amazing. But what was she doing here? Slightly frowning he walked forward as the last few softly played chords echoed. </p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" </p>
<p>Emily froze. Her brown eyes enlarged in panic. She had been caught. Maybe if she showed her pass, but wait. She knew that voice. It wasn't...no, fate couldn't be that cruel, could it? Before she could turn around and answer, in a slightly more annoyed and authoritative voice, Loki repeated his question. </p>
<p>"I said, what. are. you. doing here?" Each step he grew closer. Loki was slightly agitated, the girl hadn't turned around. More evidence to say she wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. Yes, whoever she was had talent, but how did she get in here? In the dim arena, he was finally close enough to make out dark short hair and a cardigan sweater. She almost looked like...no that's impossible. </p>
<p>Emily closed her eyes and bit her lip. Yep. That was Loki's voice. He didn't sound too happy. Well, she was invited by Mark to come back, but that implied with a concert and people. No one had said anything about coming up on stage by herself. Whatever. She was willing to face the consequences. She slowly took off her strap and set her guitar down next to her. Sighing, she stood up and brushed the stage floor dust from her yellow skirt. She turned around and looked up to find a stunned Loki. </p>
<p>Emily? Loki was more than confused, but to his surprise, he was happy it was her. What was she doing here?</p>
<p>"I-I apologize Loki. I know I'm not supposed to be here. I um. I just wanted to play my guitar in a place like this once in my life. I promise I won't do it again and will leave immediately, but I accept the consequences of my actions." She looked like a scolded puppy to Loki. For some reason he found it adorable.</p>
<p>Loki softly smiled at her and approached, but to Emily's confusion, sat down on the edge of the stage and started to softly play his guitar. Emily with her heart beating wildly, sat down next to him, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. She bit her lip again, and reached out to lightly tap his shoulder. </p>
<p>"L-Loki, am I in trouble for being here?" Loki could have laughed at how timid she sounded while speaking, and yet sang with the confidence of a woman who had been performing all her life. He turned to tease her, but stopped seeing the genuine concern in her expression. </p>
<p>"No, darling. You aren't in trouble. I thought I was alone and also did not realize it was you when I called out. Forgive me if I had startled you." Emily was relieved to hear she wasn't in trouble, but worried she was now interrupting his alone time. </p>
<p>"Oh! I’m sorry, I can go now if you want to be alone, I just um, yeah. Have a wonderful day, Loki." She jumped down from the stage and hurriedly grabbed her guitar to place it in its case. Loki frowned. That's not what he meant to convey to her. He thought at first yes, solitude was what he wanted when he came here, but now he was suddenly feeling uneasy at the thought of being left alone. </p>
<p>"Wait! Would you please stay? Unless you have other obligations, but I would like to hear more." Emily had just buckled the first part of her case when she stopped and looked up at him in mild shock from his words. She silently gulped. </p>
<p>"M-more? As in <em> my </em> playing?" Loki, a famous singer and guitarist wanted to hear her perform?! </p>
<p>"And sing if you wouldn't mind?" His voice was soft and held a hint of pleading. Emily's palms grew sweaty and her pulse quickened. </p>
<p>"Um, sure! I don't really have anything going on right now. It's Saturday, so I can stay for a bit." She reopened her case and pulled out the guitar. She blushed now realizing she had to climb back up on the stage with Loki’s eyes on her. Loki, seeing the dilemma of the short woman, held out his hand to help hoist her up. Grabbing his offered hand, he had easily pulled her up and over the edge. He smiled noticing her once again, adorable blush. "Thank you! I appreciated that." She giggled and situated herself and her guitar.</p>
<p>"I must warn you, I haven't really performed in front of anyone except 4-year olds, Amanda, and my grandma. Oh! And Amanda's cat." Loki chuckled. </p>
<p>"Well, you can add me to the list. I just heard you, and am about to hear you again." He was confused why she hadn't added parents to that list. Even he had sung or fiddled around with a guitar when he was a little boy in front of Odin. Until Odin had a dreadful hangover one morning. Instead of asking Loki to quiet down, he had ripped the tiny guitar out of Loki's hands, smashing it on the hardwood floor. Loki winced at that memory. He was 6 or 7. </p>
<p>"And your parents? I'm sure they had front row seats in the early years to your playing and singing." He said so with a smile and tease, trying to find out more about her. But he instantly regretted it as he witnessed Emily's smile slowly fade and her chocolate eyes glance down. He could have kicked himself. He hated when people asked about his family, so why did he just do the same? He grimaced about to apologize but Emily began talking.</p>
<p>"They. They um, heard me sing when I was real little I suppose. But. They…" Emily never really told people about her parent's death. She had been so young, she barely remembered them. But she knew how much they loved her from her grandma always telling her. She looked back at him and knew he felt bad for asking by his slight grimace. How was he supposed to know? He didn't have to feel bad, but his concern warmed her heart. "They passed away a long time ago." </p>
<p>"I see. I'm so sorry Emily, I shouldn't have brought it up, I-" </p>
<p>"Loki! It's fine, it's okay. You didn't know, how could you have known? Asking about family is typically a polite conversation starter. It's okay." Loki was grateful and shocked by her kind understanding of his mess up. "Well let's see. What shall we play?" </p>
<p>"We?" Loki asked in confusion. Emily giggled. </p>
<p>"Yes! I've decided I'm too shy to sing just in front of you, so I want you to sing with me, if that's okay?" Loki smiled reassuringly at her, humbled by her honesty. </p>
<p>“Of course,” He softly responded. He started playing a few notes, brainstorming of what he’d love to hear Emily sing, but something that they could sing together. “Hm. Any ideas Ms. Emily?” Emily giggled again. Loki had decided Emily’s laughter and giggles were gifts of little rays of sunshine.</p>
<p>“Just Emily! Forget the ‘Miss.’ And um. We could sing a duet?” Loki smiled at her encouragingly, sensing her nervousness. </p>
<p>“Sounds wonderful. Have you heard of ‘Falling Slowly’?” Emily frowned and pursed her lips in thought. </p>
<p>“Oh! The one by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova?” Her excitement made Loki chuckle. </p>
<p>“That’s the one.” He genuinely smiled at her, and she nodded her head to agree to the song choice. “We will be in the key of C major, alright?” Again she nodded and her enthusiasm shined on her face. Loki grinning from ear to ear, began the prelude, plucking the strings in a fingerstyle. Loki looked at her intentionally, counting off silently for them both. Emily inhaled deeply to gather sufficient air in her lungs as her heart felt like it could explode. </p>
<p>
  <em> I don't know you </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> But I want you </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> All the more for that </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Words fall through me </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And always fool me </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And I can't react </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And games that never amount </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> To more than they're meant </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Will play themselves out </em>
</p>
<p>Smooth baritone voice melted with a melodious soprano in a sweet slow tempo. Emily’s hands slightly shook as she plucked her guitar, echoing perfectly along with Loki’s part. Holding each other’s eyes, they couldn’t help but smile, almost in laughter as they heard the angelic tuneful harmony their voices produced. As Emily continued singing, she felt herself relax more and felt her confidence start to grow. Loki saw this too as Emily shut her eyes and let herself get lost in the music. His heart stopped at seeing something so beautiful. </p>
<p>
  <em> Take this sinking boat and point it home </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> We've still got time </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You'll make it now </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Falling slowly, eyes that know me </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And I can't go back </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And moods that take me and erase me </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And I'm painted black </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Well, you have suffered enough </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And warred with yourself </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> It's time that you won </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Take this sinking boat and point it home </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> We've still got time </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You've made it now </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Falling slowly, sing your melody </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I'll sing along </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Take it all </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I played the cards too late </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Now you're gone </em>
</p>
<p>Gradually the echoes of the last chords of their guitars faded. Emily was soaring high and had never felt such an intimate musical moment in her life. Her smile never left her face, and the joyful glint in her eyes shined brightly. Loki didn’t know what he felt in his heart. All he knew is that he wanted to always feel just like he did in this moment. </p>
<p>Clap. Click clack. Clap. Click clack. Clap. Click clack, click clack. Loki and Emily’s head immediately turned to see who had lazily clapped and walked up behind them from backstage. Unlike Emily, Loki didn’t even have to turn around to know it was Rebecca. The click clack of her stilettos was a dead give away. He internally sighed knowing he was going to be in trouble for this harmless and delightful moment. </p>
<p>“Well. That was lovely, sweetheart. You didn’t tell me you had a concert this morning. And with your new friend, Emily.” Her voice was overly sweet and she glanced over at Emily as she said her name. Emily looked down. Rebecca was smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes. </p>
<p>“Rebecca, yes. Emily and I ran into each other. What are you doing here?” Rebecca’s eyes narrowed at Loki while crossing her arms. </p>
<p>“What am I doing here? Trying to find your ass is what I’m doing. I texted you, got nothing. You didn’t even let me know you were leaving this morning. Sif and the rest of your gang didn’t know where you were. I came here at a lucky guess knowing your obsession with your music. And here I find you cuddling up with your little friend.” Rebecca’s tone darkened and her false smile had disappeared. Emily wanted the stage floor to swallow her. Even though the arena was vast in size, the air was so thick with tension Emily thought someone could cut it. </p>
<p>Loki looked over to Emily. He realized how he was able to hide most of his emotions when he wanted to, but it seemed Emily wore her heart on her sleeve. The anxiety and concern on her little face was evident. </p>
<p>“We were just singing, darling. Forgive me for not letting you know where I was. I just needed a moment to myself after our...discussion last night.” His voice was soft and deep almost as if he were trying to placate a dangerous creature. Rebecca scoffed. </p>
<p>“Well next time you leave the morning after we fuck, I won’t come looking for your sorry ass.” Emily still faced downwards, but her eyes widened and her face reddened hearing what just flew out of Rebecca’s mouth. </p>
<p>“And you.” Brown doe eyes shot up to see an icy blue glare. “Shame on you. You should know better than to go after someone’s boyfriend. Did your parents not teach-”</p>
<p>“REBECCA!” Loki’s sudden deep exclamation halted Rebecca’s tirade. Loki swiftly glanced over at Emily. The poor thing had her mouth open as if to say something, but didn’t know what. She was still staring at Rebecca in hurt and confusion from his girlfriend’s verbal attack. Loki thought he saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes, but couldn’t be sure. </p>
<p>“Fine. When you’re done fucking around Loki, I need to have words with you.” Eventually the click clack of heels faded into silence. </p>
<p>That silence stretched for a few uncomfortable minutes. </p>
<p>“I apologize thoroughly for her careless tongue.” </p>
<p>“It’s okay! I…” Emily racked her brain of what to say or do. It was obvious this was her fault. Had she not been here, Loki wouldn’t have been tongue lashed like that. She frowned thinking even if she was here, the way Rebecca spoke to him was highly uncalled for and rude. Looking over at Loki, her heart cracked. He was exhaling long and loud, bowing his head and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. The distress he was experiencing rolled off him in waves. Emily sat her guitar down and scooted closer to Loki. She slowly brought her hand up to his upper back, and began to rub in a gentle circular motion. Loki had slightly startled, but then relaxed under her touch. Emily didn’t see a famous singer or rich musician now. She saw a broken and dejected boy who needed comfort.</p>
<p>“I know you don’t know me real well, but I’m here to listen if you do want to share what’s on your mind.” Her voice was soft and sweet, but cautious and respectful. Loki slightly frowned. Debating if he should speak what was actually on his mind. </p>
<p>“I’m alright, really. Just…” Seeing Rebecca had reminded him of their conversation, if he could call it that. Now she’d be in a mood and he just couldn’t deal with that right now. He was silent for a while. He didn’t think Emily had any ulterior motives by asking him that question. Her soothing touch was out of pure comfort and concern. So he looked her dead in the eye with an open vulnerable face he rarely let others see. </p>
<p>“Do you want to have a child?” Emily’s eyes widened and lips parted as she began to blush profusely. She had slowly retracted her hand from Loki’s back. Loki’s own eyes widened and his cheeks tinged pink as stammered to clarify hearing how his question sounded.</p>
<p>“No! Not, not with me! What I meant was, have you ever pictured yourself being a mother someday?” Relieved that Loki was talking generally and not actually asking her to suddenly have kids with him, she softly laughed in good nature. Maybe he wanted a change in subject?</p>
<p>“Of course! I love kids. If I could, I’d adopt my whole class. There’s just something special about watching a child’s eyes light up with understanding when they learn something new. Or how they reach out their tiny hand to you in trust. I would love nothing more than to love and care for a child of my own. I have heard some interesting names throughout the two years of my teaching and have gotten ideas. If I have a girl, I love the name Amelia, and if I have a boy...” Emily hadn’t been looking at Loki, instead staring out fondly at the empty rows of seats as she lost herself in Loki’s question. Looking up to him however, her words died on her tongue and her smile dropped. He was staring at her with such a burning longing and sadness that it took her breath away. “Did, did I say something wrong?”</p>
<p> “No, forgive me.” He sighed. “I’m happy for you. You will...you’ll be a great mother.” There was an awkward stretch of silence as they both looked away from each other. </p>
<p>Eventually she was able to softly reply, “Well, thank you Loki...I um, hope to be someday.” After another awkward pause she hesitantly asked, “what about you...do you um, see yourself being a father someday?” He exhaled slowly and loudly. For a while he didn’t respond, but simply gazed out intensely at the vacant seats.  </p>
<p>Dejectedly he finally replied, “I did.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Falling Apart, but Falling into Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sunday night Emily realizes the perfect weekend has come to an end. Loki finds something on his girlfriend. Shit hits the fan...at least for Rebecca.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!<br/>This chapter is a necessity for the plot to keep rolling! Sorry there's no Emily/Loki interaction, but there will be coming soon :)<br/>Also, just so you're aware, my username is changed. My old one was a bunch of random letters and numbers, plus it was too long. </p>
<p>WARNING: Cheating</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily was curled up in a ball on her turquoise antique styled couch. She was thoroughly enraptured by <em> The Princess Bride </em>novel she was reading. Although she had seen the movie, to her, a movie could never quite compare to the wondrous mind paintings literature created.</p>
<p>BOOM! Emily jumped in surprise as her apartment door slammed open into the wall. Amanda had returned from the store. Rustling plastic bags distracted Emily from finishing her sentence as she sighed and gently set the book aside. Amanda was busy setting bags on the quaint kitchen island. Knowing of the latest novel Emily was reading from having seen the movie herself, she couldn’t help but tease. </p>
<p>“Hey<em> Buttercup</em>, come help unload these bags for girls night.” Emily giggled and walked the short distance to her kitchenette. </p>
<p>“As you wish,” Emily dramatically sighed. Both girls laughed and started unpacking. </p>
<p>“So! I thought we could drink this beauty...” Amanda held up a magnum sized bottle of Pinot Noir wine. “As we watch a chick flick. Or just sit and drink until we no longer make sense to you and me.” Emily laughed. </p>
<p>"Nanda, that sentence didn't even make sense."</p>
<p>"I don't care Ms. Teacher." The two went back and forth with quips and laughs. Glancing at her watch Emily saw it was now 7:04 pm. The last Frost City concert had just started. </p>
<p>"Hey, what's on your mind, pretty lady?" Emily softly sighed. </p>
<p>"Nothing."</p>
<p>"Well that was as believable as snow in August." Amanda could sense that ever since Emily had run into Loki yesterday, something was bothering her. Joking aside, Amanda wondered what had occurred to make her usual smiling and sweet friend lack her 1,000 watt smile.</p>
<p> Emily groaned. She was never a good liar. Six year old Emily couldn't even lie when her grandma asked if she took another cookie from the cookie jar. </p>
<p>"It's just...this weekend has been so incredible. Having you here has really felt like the good old times. It's sad knowing in the early morning you'll be leaving. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for you and your new job! Just...I'll miss you." A sad reminiscent smile splayed across her face. </p>
<p>"Oh, Em...I'll miss you too. And if you ever decide to get snapchat or Marco Polo app so I can see your beautiful face, that'd be great too." </p>
<p>"What's wrong with my letters, emails, and texts?" </p>
<p>"Eh, besides the fact that letters are SLOW, nothin' much. But back to what we were saying before...I sense there’s more than just <em> me </em> leaving that’s gotcha down, am I right?” Emily pouted at her perceptive friend. They both knew each other too well to hide anything. </p>
<p>“Well. Tonight is the last concert Frost City will be performing in this area. It's too bad we didn’t have more time to get to know them since we met.” Emily’s voice was soft and somber.</p>
<p>“Them? Or him?” Emily snapped her head up to Amanda with wide eyes. </p>
<p>“What?” Amanda playfully rolled her eyes. They had unpacked the bags, and now sat comfortably in the living room. Amanda sprawled out on her couch/bed, and Emily sat with her legs folded against her chest with knees under her chin on her small antique couch. </p>
<p>“Come on, Em. I’m not stupid. Loki of course.” Amanda wiggled her eyebrows suggestively causing Emily to blush at that insinuation. </p>
<p>“Nuh uh! He has a girlfriend, Nanda. Well, if someone can call a woman with the personality of a crocodile, a girlfriend.” Amanda laughed heartily at that. It was downright rare to hear Emily talk negatively about another human being. That being said, Amanda soaked up the moment. </p>
<p>“Burn! A crocodile you say? Emmy, you just insulted someone behind their back, how do you feel?” Amanda pretending she was holding a microphone passed it under Emily’s face as she walked over and plopped down right next to her. Emily huffed, and pushed Amanda’s hand away. </p>
<p>“Nada, not now. I’m serious. I don’t think their relationship is healthy. She humiliated him in front of me. He just sat there and took all her venom. And he spoke so softly to her. I mean, if that’s how she acts with him with someone around...I hate to think about what happens behind closed doors.” Amanda pursed her lips seeing how serious Emily was. It wasn’t in Amanda’s nature to talk softly, but in serious matters, especially ones that concerned her family (she considered Emily family), she’d just about do anything. She leaned over and gently held one of Emily’s fidgeting hands.</p>
<p>“Emily, you care about him...don’t you?” Emily sighed and shook her head in denial, but in that moment she just couldn’t lie to herself. </p>
<p>“Yes...I don’t know why Amanda. I just, he...it’s not just a physical attraction you know? I can sense he has a real good heart under that faux indifferent expression and dark attire. I saw him. I really saw him yesterday when we sang together. I think we had potential to be at least good friends.” Emily’s smile faded. “Now he will be gone tomorrow morning in who knows what state for the tour. And I might never see him again.” It was quiet for a while as Amanda squeezed Emily’s hand in reassurance. </p>
<p>“Well. Hey, we will always remember this weekend, won’t we?” Emily nodded and softly smiled.</p>
<p>“Now, how ‘bout I pour the wine and you pick the movie, kay? It will all be alright Emmy. Things that are meant to work out, will work out.” Emily sighed but smiled. Somehow despite Amanda’s raw humor, she usually had something wise to say. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>……………………………</p>
<p>The concert had ended an hour and a half ago and Loki was back at the hotel. Rebecca still hadn’t shown yet, but he expected her to show up within the hour. A buzz in his dark jeans brought his attention to his phone. A call from Fandral. </p>
<p>“Hello.”</p>
<p>“Loki! Hey man, I have some really important news regarding the tour. The next place we were supposed to perform at is flooded. Apparently one of the pipes busted and they have to do all these repairs now. I guess the stage even has water damage.” </p>
<p>“Shit. So where are we to perform then?” This was certainly unexpected. Disappointing too.</p>
<p>“Well, since the next concert was supposed to be only 6 hours away, we got it all approved that we can just stay here another week. So this coming Friday, Saturday, and Sunday performances we will be at the same arena we were just at tonight.”</p>
<p>“And those that paid for the concert, our fans...they are becoming aware of this inconvenience, yes?”</p>
<p>“Of course. The music PR is already on it. We might have a smaller audience this weekend, but word is getting out. You know, on things like facebook and instagram. Something you’d know if you had them.” Fandral teased the last sentence aiming at Loki’s lack of social media. </p>
<p>“No thank you Fandral, a simple text or email will be enough. I can start writing you letters now if you prefer it.” Loki said so with a smile and tease of his own. Fandral chuckled into his phone. </p>
<p>“Alright, I’ll leave it alone. Hey, since we’re here another week, wanna get a room at the 5 star hotel the rest of us are staying at? I’m pretty sure there’s another room open next to Sif’s.” </p>
<p>“No thank you, Fandral. Although I appreciate the offer, this place has everything I need here and isn’t too crowded or loud."</p>
<p>“Whatever works for you Lokes.”</p>
<p>“You going out for drinks then tonight?”</p>
<p>“Nah, we’re all exhausted. I’m surprised you can’t hear Volstagg. He’s been snoring like a fucking motor boat the last half hour.” Loki out right laughed at that.</p>
<p>“Right, well good luck with that, Fandral. I will message you later tomorrow evening.”</p>
<p>“Yep, sounds good. G’night!”</p>
<p>Hours later, a shirtless Loki lazily strummed his guitar laying on the creaky motel bed. His legs dangled off the side. Where the hell was Rebecca? He hadn’t seen her since before this evening’s concert. He exhaled in a humorless chuckle as he thought of yesterday afternoon and what she had said to him. The names she called him and the icy tone in her voice and glare in her eyes. Now today though, she was sweeter than candy. Too sweet, like when too much sugar leaves a person with a stomach ache. He felt like he was getting whiplash from her mood swings. His fingers started playing the chords to ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow,’ as he softly smiled and remembered, now that he knew that was Emily, how her voice echoed and bounced beautifully across that arena. He had messed up plenty of times during their conversation, but Emily never put him down, just assured him that everything was alright. Sighing, he sat up and placed his guitar on the foot of the bed. Rubbing his hands over his face, he glanced over to see it was past midnight. He really should text Rebecca. </p>
<p><b>12:04 am. Loki: </b> <em> Hello, hope you're safe. Going to sleep soon. When will you be back to motel? </em></p>
<p><b>12:05 am. Rebecca: </b> <em> Notp forr an hourr or soow </em></p>
<p>Loki frowned reading that text. What the fuck? Was she drunk? Loki bristled and swore. He couldn’t believe her. Where was she? More importantly who was she with? They didn’t know anyone in this area except the band members and their lights and tech people. </p>
<p><b>12:06 am. Loki: </b> <em> Who are you with? Do you feel safe?? </em></p>
<p><b>12:24 am. Loki: </b> <em> Darling? Please answer so I at least know you are safe. </em></p>
<p><b>12:46 am. Loki: </b> <em> REBECCA? Where are you, I am coming to get you.  </em></p>
<p>Loki ran his fingers through his hair. He was exhausted, but his exhaustion was put on hold being concerned for the well being of his girlfriend. He had now texted her three times, called her four, and left 3 voice messages. It was now 1:03 am. He was just throwing on his shirt and grabbing his keys to go look for her at the nearest bars when, SLAM! A giggly Rebecca burst through the doors. </p>
<p>“Where the hell were you?!” Although his words were slightly harsh, his tone held much worry and concern. He was incredibly relieved though that she had made it back. She stumbled into the room, almost twisting her ankle in her again ridiculously high heeled shoes. </p>
<p>“Loooooki. That was sooo much fun,” She slurred in a giggle and threw herself at him. Bringing her arms up around his neck and leaning against him. “I’m sooo tired. Let’s go sleepy.” Loki slightly stepped back from the impact of Rebecca. Her words were slurred and her steps uneven. It was clear she couldn’t have driven back here. Someone had dropped her off. His exhaustion that had been put on the back burner now came flooding to his senses. He decided this would be all sorted out tomorrow. Loki wrapped his arms around her mid waist and leaned down to whisper in her ear. A whiff of alcohol and unfamiliar cologne offended his senses. He didn’t think much of it since bars were usually crowded.</p>
<p>“Let’s get you to bed, darling.” He half carried a half passed out Rebecca. He pulled back the covers and lifted her up and into the soft creaky bed. He gently tugged off her shoes and set them on the floor. Pulling up the blankets to cover her, he bent down and  placed a kiss on her forehead. He then picked up and placed his guitar back in its case, setting it on the rugged couch.  </p>
<p>After Loki brushed his teeth and got ready for bed, he shed himself of everything but his boxers, and crawled into bed. He laid on his back with an arm behind his head. He had yet to turn off the lamp on his right. Rebecca let out a contented sigh which made Loki glance over towards his left at her. He saw a peaceful blonde with slightly smudged makeup. His eyes followed the trail of beautiful golden blonde locks that disappeared over her opposite shoulder from view. He frowned as his eyes caught a bruise like mark on her neck. He cautiously reached out to move the few strands of gold obscuring his view. What he saw made his stomach drop. Even in the slightly dimmed lighting, only an imbecile wouldn’t be able to see the fresh hickey adorned between the right side of her neck and shoulder. The first thought that flew through his mind was that she had been the victim of unwanted attention, but then Rebecca’s words echoed back into his mind. <em> That was sooo much fun. </em>Had whatever happened not been wanted by his girlfriend her reaction wouldn’t have been that. His stomach physically hurt as he grimaced to the only logical thought. It was clear from the smell of a stranger's cologne and the hickey on her neck. Rebecca had cheated on him. </p>
<p>Loki had hurriedly shut the light off and laid back down facing the ceiling. Of course Rebecca would be unfaithful. His cruel mind taunted him and he was unable to sleep until his body gave out on his will to stay awake. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Rebecca woke up with a foggy pounding head. She opened her stiff eyelids that were smeared with eyeliner and mascara to see the ceiling of the hotel Loki and her were staying at. She scrunched her face in confusion trying to remember-oh! Shit. She whipped her head to the right to find a sleeping Loki facing her. His long dark lashes and pale eyelids were gently closed. Some strands of his dark hair had fallen into his face. His light pink lips were ever so slightly parted. He was an absolute beauty. Rebecca sighed and looked away. A familiar uncomfortable feeling crawled around in her stomach. One she abhorred above all, guilt. She couldn't believe it had happened again.</p>
<p>She softly groaned, clutching her head and made her way into the bathroom. She licked her dry lips gazing at her reflection. She would have laughed at how ridiculous she looked with the smudged makeup and hair strands parted every which way. But the knot in her stomach prevented her from doing so. Getting into the shower she let the hot steaming water wash away the stench of alcohol and sweat. She remembered sexy blue eyes on a tall tan brunette. A suave goatee outlined his flirtatious smile. She had only had a couple drinks. She told herself it was the effects of the alcohol, but she knew deep down she flirted and kissed back even before she felt the first buzz. All the extra alcohol beyond those couple drinks just intensified and stupefied their lustful actions. Fuck. She left her car at the bar. The mystery man wasn't as drunk as her and was oddly kind enough to drop her off where she told him she was staying. She had then eventually stumbled her way into the motel room after several uncoordinated swipes with the card key. </p>
<p>Rebecca now wrapped her hair up into a towel and had another fluffy towel wrapped around her tall body. As she looked into the mirror that was coated in steam, she paused seeing something on her neck. Shit. No, fuck, please not be a hickey. But as she scrubbed a spot in the mirror for her to see more clearly, her guess was unfortunately confirmed. Did Loki see it? She creaked the bathroom door open to see him finally start to stir. She quickly shut the door and took a few deep breaths. Shit. She racked her brain around a way to hide the mark. Yanking her suitcase open that she had dragged into the bathroom with her, she pulled out a silk green scarf. Loki liked green, it would all be okay. Finishing her dressing, she wore jean shorts and a black tank-top. She let her damp thick blonde waves cascade down her back as she built up the courage to exit her safety zone. </p>
<p>Loki was oddly just staring at the ceiling. Glancing at the clock, Rebecca was surprised to see it was past 9:00 am. She thought they were all going to be on the road before 8:00 to make it to their next destination. Biting her lip she sauntered over to the bed and gently sat on the side Loki laid on. He had yet to even acknowledge her. Not good. </p>
<p>"Good morning, baby. I thought we could get some breakfast downtown before we head out for the next part of the tour, how's that sound?" Her words were light and flirty. </p>
<p>So she was going to be overly sweet today. Loki finally glanced her way as she sat up against his hip. He bit his lip to hold in a laugh at seeing her deep emerald silk scarf conveniently hiding the evidence of her cheating. Did she really think he didn't see it last night? </p>
<p>"No. I want to hear about last night. Who were you with?" Rebecca was taken back by the slightly strict tone in his voice. She's never heard it before. </p>
<p>"I was just out celebrating another successful concert on your behalf, sweetheart. I am just so proud of you!" She smiled and leaned down to kiss his lips, but Loki gently pushed her away and sat up directly facing her. Her praise and affection may have wiggled her way out of situations before, but not this time. </p>
<p>"So you celebrated without me? Surely if this was truly on my behalf, you'd invite me to be with you, no?" His morning husky voice was borderline sarcastic. Rebecca slightly panicked inside, but quickly thought of the perfect excuse. Or so she thought it was. </p>
<p>"Well, you know that your band mates love a good celebration after a long week, so we all just met up at one of the local bars. I would have invited you sweetheart, but I know you don't drink and I knew how tired you were." Loki could have applauded at how convincing and smooth Rebecca sounded. It made his stomach twist wondering what other lies she had spun over the year. </p>
<p>"I see. And I'm assuming you must have been with Fandral then. Tell me, did he have anything interesting to say about the tour?" He gazed at her expectedly. </p>
<p>"Yeah, well, he um. He said how smoothly the tour was going and he was excited to get to the next place to perform." After her voice stumbled, her words became more confident. However confident and sure they may have sounded, Loki was very disappointed and hurt to realize what an utter fool she was playing him for. </p>
<p>“I see.” His deep voice rumbled a quick reply. Rebecca stood up and crawled up onto the bed straddling Loki. She didn’t like how somber and distant he was being with her. She started carding her hand through his tangled waves. Rebecca glanced down at her chipped bright red nails contrasted in his raven black strands. She needed another manicure. </p>
<p>“Sweetheart, may I borrow 200 dollars?” She moved her hands to lightly graze her finger tips up and down his bare torso. </p>
<p>“No.” His flat tone was harsh and final. It took Rebecca a second to realize he had actually said ‘no,’ to her. She laughed and adjusted herself in his lap. </p>
<p>“Okay, how about only 100 dollars? I’ll-”</p>
<p>“No.” Loki’s tone hadn’t changed. He firmly grabbed Rebecca’s hips and lifted her off his lap and onto the other side of the bed. She plopped down in a pile of ruffled blankets. Stunned into silence. Loki rose from the bed and made his way to the bathroom door. “You may not have 100, 50, not even a penny more. Becca, really? You believe me to be that thick headed.” Loki rolled his eyes in annoyance. He felt tears prick his eyes in anger and hurt. Rebecca opened her mouth to say something, but Loki shook his head and shut himself into the bathroom. <em> Borrow </em> . He darkly chuckled. Rebecca owed him 12,000 fucking ‘borrowed’ dollars. He <em> maybe </em> was going to forgive her for last night if she was contrite. But no, she lied. And asked for money on top of it. He was done being her piggy bank. He thought of all the times he couldn’t even look at another woman without her fangs coming out. Such a hypocrite. After showering and dressing, he stepped out of the bathroom preparing himself to officially end their relationship. Rebecca was leaning over in front of the crooked wall mirror applying her red lipstick to plump out her naturally thin lips. She heard Loki exit the bathroom and turned to him rubbing her lips together. Loki stood in jeans and a dark blue button up long-sleeved collared top. He had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. His hair was slicked back into a low wet messy man bun from his shower. His hands were on his hips as he gave her a pointed look. </p>
<p>“Becca. We aren’t even going to pretend I didn’t see your hickey. I was on the phone with Fandral last night, we are staying here another week. He told me hours before I texted you. He also made it clear he and the rest of the band were too exhausted as you said…’ to celebrate’.” Rebecca’s face paled. She teared up in embarrassment and frustration. </p>
<p>“Loki. I’m sorry. I-I...It was just you were tired, and he was flirting, and I just got lost in the moment. I didn’t mean for things to go so far, I-” </p>
<p>“How many times?”</p>
<p>“What?” She realized Loki was crying now too. He had silent tears slowly trailing off his cheek. </p>
<p>“How...how many times have you done this. Don’t fucking lie, Rebecca. Please. Be honest.” His voice was strained as he held the emotions in as best as he could. Rebecca stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. Her heart pounded. Did she dare admit the truth? She had never seen Loki so serious and firm...and hurt. She never really meant to hurt him like this.</p>
<p>“Um. F-four or five times.” She decided to be honest. Then she winced as she recalled the time before this. “No, six. When we were in Colorado two months ago. You don’t go to bars or drink Loki. Then I go alone, someone flirts with me and I just...I just lose myself in the moment and alcohol.” She had no malice in her voice. Just honesty and possible remorse. </p>
<p>Loki paced over to her quickly and firmly grasped her upper arms. His grip was still gentle as not to hurt her, but hard enough to get her attention. </p>
<p>"Rebecca. Do you realize how incredibly stupid that was?" He shook her shoulders once. Her face crumpled and more tears rolled down her face. She knew Loki would be mad. But he'd never called her stupid before. </p>
<p>"Darling." He sighed and brought her into a tight embrace. He may not want to be in a relationship with this woman anymore, but he still cared about her and her wellbeing. Holding the back of her head protectively he kissed her forehead. "Promise me you will never go out to a bar in an unknown city alone again." Rebecca was confused. She lightly pulled away so she could see his face properly. She sniffed.</p>
<p>"You're not." Sniffle "mad about what I did, but that I was alone and could've gotten hurt?" She felt like shit. She ruined a relationship with such an incredible man. Loki sighed.</p>
<p>His brow was scrunched as he looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Becca some of those places we stayed in were not the safest areas. What would have happened if one of those men didn’t just flirt and kiss you?” Loki swallowed a dry lump. “I don’t know how far you went with some of them, and I don’t want to know either. The point is, what if they had darker intentions?” His tone was now soft and concerned. Rebecca looked down and shakily sighed. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry Loki. I am. I never meant for you to know…” She winced at seeing his hurtful expression. “I mean, I never wanted to hurt you that way.” Loki nodded and inhaled deeply. He stepped back, now letting go of his once girlfriend. Rebecca felt the instant parting from his warm embrace. Her heart ached knowing she might not have that again. “So, are you just going to throw me out now? I-I have no one, Loki. I’m so far away from what I’d consider to be a home-base for me. Please don’t just abandon me.” Rebecca was never one to plead or act desperate, but having the situation hit her, she realized without Loki she’d be on the streets now. </p>
<p>“Rebecca,” his firm yet soft voice grabbed her out of her panic. “I will not, nor have I ever abandoned someone. Nor will I abandon you. I <em> am </em> still breaking up with you. We are no longer together. But for now you may stay with me. I will sleep on the couch, and we will figure out the other details this week, alright?” Rebecca nodded not finding her voice. Relieved she wasn’t going to be kicked out and also in shock of his declaration of ending their relationship. Perhaps he’d change his mind as the day continued. She had been able to lure him into certain ideas before, she would be a fool to not try again. He may have declared a breakup, but she wasn’t going to leave so easily. Especially with his invitation to stay. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>……………………………</p>
<p>Most people hated Mondays, but for Emily, Mondays were days where she was able to see her children again. She really did care about each one of her students. Even the ones who’d draw on the tables or disrespect her. She knew from her educational background that it was rarely a young child’s fault for inappropriate behavior. Oftentimes it was the parent or guardian’s fault. She was also trained in childhood trauma and recognized how a child may act a certain way because of an unhealthy home life. She had reported and saved one of her students last year. The boy had acted out quite often and would swear and use language that was highly inappropriate from a preschooler’s mouth. His large and symmetrical bruising eventually was the last straw for her. After an official investigation it was found the child’s mother was mistreating him and the boy moved in with his aunt and uncle. She smiled knowing he was now happy and safe across the hall in kindergarten.  </p>
<p>“Class, this week we are going to be working on measuring and shapes. This is also the week where we will be using scissors!” A murmur of excitement and questions filled the classroom. Emily saw one of her little students raise her hand high in the air. Her face conveyed she had a very important question. Emily pointed and smiled at the girl, encouraging her to talk. </p>
<p>“But Ms. Fawn, my mommy says I’m too wittle to use scissors.” Emily smiled reassuringly at the child and the class. </p>
<p>“Adult scissors are too big for you. But I have little scissors made just for young children. I will be teaching you how to be safe with them and how to cut in a straight line. Now it is time to pack up for the day. We ran out of time to sing, but I promise tomorrow we will sing, alright?” She sounded apologetic, enthusiastic, and as usual, overly dramatic for her young listeners. They all groaned sadly and pouted at hearing there was not enough time to sing. After a few hugs and parting words, Emily plopped herself into her broken swivel chair when all her students left. She grabbed a bobby pin from her desk drawer and pinned a loose strand of brown waves away from her eyes. She slightly startled at hearing her phone buzz in her navy sweater. Pulling it out, she smiled seeing it was from Amanda. </p>
<p><b>3:06 pm. Amanda: </b> <em> YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT MARK TOLD ME!!!:D  </em></p>
<p><b>3:07 pm. Emily: </b> <em> What?? This feels like deja vu ha ha.  </em></p>
<p><b>3:08 pm Amanda: </b> <em> LMAO. Mark said band is staying 4 another week at the place they were at last night!!  </em></p>
<p>What!? Emily’s heartbeat quickened as she thought of another potential run in with Loki. And possibly another chance to hear the band perform. </p>
<p><b>3:10 pm Emily: </b> <em> Great news!!! Maybe I’ll see if there are any tickets left for this weekend? Also, how’s the facials and manicure stuff going? </em></p>
<p><b>3:10 pm Amanda: </b> <em> Freakin love the job! Art degree and cosmetology paid off. OH! Btw I told Mark how much u love the band, he thought you were chill enough, so ur invited to their party celebration thing after the concert Friday night. Gtg. Love ya.“ </em></p>
<p><b>3:11 pm Emily: </b> <em> WHAT? Where, what time?! Again, so happy for you. Love you too!”  </em></p>
<p><b>3:11 pm Amanda: </b> <em> I’ll text u details later. My break is over. TTYL&lt;3 </em></p>
<p>Emily just stared at her phone stunned. Amanda wouldn’t be with her at this celebration. It would just be her...and Frost City. She bit her lip contemplating if she could stomach the nerves. Yes she had spent time with Loki, but would she be able to fit in with all of them? Regardless, it would be rude to turn down Mark’s invitation. She eventually convinced herself she’d stay for friendly chatter, maybe a glass of wine, and then politely excuse herself. She really didn’t want to impose on a private celebration, even if she had been invited. Yes, she’d stay for an hour at most. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Party Part I - Surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Friday, the day of the party celebration. Loki and Emily are both hesitant to go for different reasons, but both are happily surprised when they are there. Later though, Loki is reminded of why he avoids bars.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello :) Hope everyone is doing well!<br/>So, originally I was going to have the party in all one chapter, but it got a little long. So, I'll be having a party part 2 for the next chapter. </p>
<p>WARNING: Mentions of parents' death (Emily's memory, nothing graphic) and panic attack.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Black shaggy hair spilled off the side of a very stiff cushion. Loki grunted and rolled over only to have his nose smash into the back of a couch. The furniture’s length was not quite that of Loki’s. He cursed as he felt his feet were numb again from having them resting up on the arm of the rundown couch. Huffing out in a frustrated and exhausted sigh, he pulled himself up in a sitting position. His back muscles ached and burned from the third night on the cheap old motel furniture. He rubbed his long pale fingers over his tired eyes. Squinting at the clock from across the room, he saw it wasn’t even 7:00 am yet. Trailing his eyes in the relatively dark room, he hungrily gazed at the bed. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to crawl into the soft comfort of the mattress a mere five feet away, but the sprawled out blonde on top prevented him from doing so. He stood up as the couch creaked.</p>
<p>Yesterday Loki had officially called and paid for a hotel room for his ex where the rest of the band was staying. He had told Rebecca she could stay with him until she had a plan worked out. Evidently, to Loki’s disappointment, she was milking that to her full advantage. There were several times in the last few days she had attempted to lure him to the bed. Another thing annoying Loki was that she still referred to him as ‘sweetheart’ or ‘baby.’ Yet every time he’d remind her to just call him Loki, she’d over dramatically apologize batting her eyelashes and claiming she forgot. The first couple times she did it, Loki understood. After all, they had been together for over a year. However, by the third day hearing his old endearing nicknames with no effort to say ‘Loki,’ he knew it wasn’t because she had forgotten. </p>
<p> “Might as well get ready for the day,” he muttered under his breath in fatigue. Tonight was the first concert for the weekend and the band’s party celebration for the tour. As he dressed in the bathroom he debated with himself if going to the party was worth it. It was reserved in a party room next to the bar in the grand hotel the rest of the band was staying at. Overtime he had built up a tolerance for being around alcohol and drunk people, but it was never his first place to pick for an outing. </p>
<p>..................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Emily lifted up the page of her calendar to the next month, May. There was a little over a month left of the school year. She sighed with a soft smile as she reminisced about random moments in the past months of her children learning and laughing. She would miss this come summer. Tidying up and locking her classroom, she grabbed her keys and headed home. </p>
<p>Emily was second guessing herself for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day if she should really attend the celebration party. Mark had contacted her and let her know the address and the time to meet. The party was to start at 9:30 pm and she was told to wear something comfortable, but preferably nice. So, after back and forth texts and calls with Amanda, she had picked out a flowing silk pearl colored dress that extended to just above the knees. It had a large soft pink floral design winding around the skirt part of the dress. The top had a modest scoop neckline and straps that were a few fingers in width. It was definitely comfortable with the loose silky material, but it also was very classy in her opinion. She had hours to get ready, but no matter what she focused on, her mind gravitated towards tonight’s event. </p>
<p>..................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Since the band celebration will be this evening, it would be a grand idea if you get set up in the new hotel room.” Loki told Rebecca over the phone on the way to the concert practice. His phone sat facing him in his cup holder and he had her on speaker. He heard her sigh into the phone and it was silent for a while.</p>
<p>“Fine. I will pack up and move into the other hotel for the remainder of the weekend.” Again, a stretch of silence followed. “Do you remember when I first asked you out for a drink when we met?” Rebecca’s complete change in subject made Loki’s eyes widen and frown. He wet his lips and scanned the road ahead trying to think where she was going with that question. He cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Of course. Why do you bring this up?” He had asked in a soft deep voice, but it held a curious inquiry. </p>
<p>“You let me lead you into Tonic Time Square bar and although you didn’t have any alcohol that evening, we had a good time, didn’t we?” Loki opened his mouth to reply as his frown deepened. Glancing over his right shoulder, he changed lanes getting ready to take the exit to the music arena. </p>
<p>“...Yes?” He hesitantly replied, still having no clue where this was going. Was this another attempt to win him back? As he was about to ask where she was going with this, Rebecca started speaking again.</p>
<p>“Yes, we did. Later you told me why you didn’t drink and why you didn’t like to be around heavy aromas of alcohol.” Loki’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and he shifted in his leather seat feeling uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. He glanced over and down at the red ‘end call’ screen, tempted to tap it. </p>
<p>“My point is you did fine. And you continued to be fine the very few times we ventured into bars or restaurants with bars.  I don’t know how you were feeling on the inside during those times, but ya know, you were fine.” Loki stayed silent knowing she had more to say by the influx of her tone. “I know you a little better than you think, swee-Loki.” Loki raised his dark brows at hearing her correction to his name for the first time as he pulled into the reserved parking. “I know you are nervous about tonight’s party. To be honest, I probably won’t be there. But, you deserve to let yourself go. You’ve been exhausted lately and just need to have a good laugh.” Loki had just put his car in park and paused letting the engine run. She was encouraging him to go have fun...without her? He narrowed his eyes in suspicion as his finger hovered over the ignition button.</p>
<p>“Have a good laugh? As you said, I am exhausted. I’m sure missing one party won’t make a difference.” </p>
<p>“...It was supposed to be a secret, something that Mark told me and not the rest of the band, but you should <em> really </em> go tonight, Loki. There’s a...surprise I’ve known about for weeks now.” Cutting off the engine, Loki grabbed his phone taking her off the loud speaker and held the phone with his shoulder to his head as he grabbed his stuff from the backseat. What the hell is she talking about? Was she lying? But she said Mark had told her...whatever this was about. </p>
<p>“Rebecca, start spilling. I don’t have time for this, please just be blunt and honest.” Loki started lugging his bags, cords, and guitar case towards the back entrance of the music arena. </p>
<p>“Ugh. Well someone will be in the audience tonight that you guys all know pretty well. He’ll also be at the party and I am pretty sure you’d want to catch up with him.” Loki paused his walking and racked his brain of who the hell she was talking about. He had told her to be blunt. That was so far from blunt he rolled his eyes. Showing the security guard his pass he smiled and nodded and walked down the hall to the familiar practice room. </p>
<p>“Rebecca, please…” He almost begged just wanting to know. </p>
<p>“Fine. You're no fun. It’s Hogun. He and his family drove down to visit.” Loki’s eye brows lifted in a pleasant surprise. Hogun had originally been part of the band, but since marrying and starting a family, he decided to be a full time dad. With a pediatrician for a wife, it worked out financially as well. The decision was well understood and respected among the rest of the band. Loki hadn’t seen him in several months.</p>
<p>“That’s the least thing I expected you to say. So this has been planned since we were in West Virginia?” </p>
<p>"No, it was when the tour had the little break so you could write more songs for the remainder of the tour." Loki hummed in acknowledgment. </p>
<p>"Then I suppose I will be there...thank you for letting me know." </p>
<p>"Yep." Awkward silence. </p>
<p>"You will be relocating during the concert then?” Rebecca sighed.</p>
<p>“Yes. I may or may not go to the concert. So...I’ll see you after the tour when I get my stuff from the house?” Rebecca had moved in with him about six months ago. However, they had been traveling around the country most of that time for the tour. They took breaks in between, but most of the time they were on the road. </p>
<p>“Sounds good. Take care, Rebec-.” Rebecca had ended the call before Loki could even finish his sentence. </p>
<p>...................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was now 9:34 pm and somehow Emily was able to find the right floor for the gathering. She tucked a stray curl away from her face behind her ear and exhaled slowly trying to still her ever present nerves. </p>
<p>“Hey, Emily!” Mark jogged over to her grabbing her attention. </p>
<p>“Good evening, Mark! Wow, this place is amazing. Thank you for inviting me. I promise I won’t stay too terribly long, I know this is more of a priv-”</p>
<p>“Nonsense.” Mark frowned and waved in a dismissive gesture. “Amanda and I grew up together so even though we are technically cousins, I think of her more as a little sister. She says you’re family to her, so in extension you're basically family to me too.” He winked at her and led her into a loud slightly dimmed area with a wooden ornate bar. Hundreds of different shaped bottles were stacked alongside the back of the bar and beyond. Several people who were probably not part of the band’s celebration were laughing and drinking at the bar stools. It was quite noisy with the loud chatter, laughter, and blasting music. Sturdy wooden booths with red leather seats were alongside the walls. </p>
<p>Walking further out to the other side of the bar, the large reserved room awaited her where only certain people could enter. A huge blue Frost City banner swung high above the double door entrance. There was a beautiful intricate glass chandelier on the tall ceiling and modern sleek grey furniture scattered throughout the room. A long table with a navy table cloth stretched alongside the wall against the long arched windows. Dozens of hors d'oeuvres on silver plates on top of pristine white cloth napkins were neatly arranged across the table. Emily took it all in with her lips slightly parted and widened eyes wondering how anyone could afford this. The bar’s modern music slowly faded the further she got in the room. The slightly opened glass doors to the balcony let the unusually warm spring air drift in pleasantly. Where did Mark go? People she never met surrounded her all talking and laughing in their own groups. Must be lights and tech people with their families. Emily began chewing her lower lip as her nerves kicked in again. </p>
<p>“Over here, Em.” She heard Mark call out from her left. She quickly turned to find him with his arm around Sif with a glass of wine in his other hand. They were both talking to a couple with a baby. The man next to Mark was a shorter Asian man with hair tightly pulled back in a high spiked bun. He had kind eyes and was laughing and bouncing the wide-eyed curious babe. The woman had her hands resting on her husband’s arm leaning in towards the baby. She was cooing and making the little one smile. Seeing a baby eased Emily’s nerves by a tenfold. She eagerly approached them with a wide smile. </p>
<p>................................</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sighing, Loki paced out of the elevator and felt anxiety bubble up in his chest as he heard the roar of laughter and clinking glasses. He knew he was an hour late, but he had finally convinced himself to go...especially knowing Hogun and his family were here. He had been directed to go through the bar to the reserved room. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the aroma of liquor and perfume. As best as he tried to hide his distaste, his nose wrinkled as he passed a lady obnoxiously laughing and about to tip over in her seat. Just a little further, he kept telling himself. For Loki, walking around in a bar was like a soldier walking in a field of hidden explosives. He was never sure if he’d hear or see something that would push him over the edge and explode in his face. </p>
<p>Exhaling in relief, he stepped into the doubled door room. Immediately he was impressed by the luxurious space. He softly smiled scanning the room seeing the familiar faces that made this tour possible. Many of them appeared to have family and friends with them, but no children. Ignoring the bar behind him, he continued to walk forward. He politely nodded and smiled as he was complimented and greeted. He gave his thanks and amiable words here and there as he passed through the small groups of people. Glancing over at the table of food, he chuckled seeing Volstagg absolutely load his little silver plate with a mountain of colorful food. Fandral was near the balcony doors giving a flirtatious smile to a lady Loki had assumed to be a friend or family member of the group. Mark was sitting on a grey sofa with Sif and they were laughing and holding champagne glasses in their hand. Where was Hogun, Loki wondered. Maybe he waited too long to come. It was closer to 10:30 pm now. Maybe Hogun wasn’t here at all and Rebecca had just lied to him again. Suddenly a small high pitched squeal and giggle caught Loki’s attention. As he moved towards the little sound of what sounded like a baby, he found the source just beyond a group of people. What he saw surprised him even more than if he hadn’t known Hogun was going to attend the party. </p>
<p>Emily stood bouncing and smiling down at a baby. Her brown hair had been curled in loose ringlets that gently fell just above her jaw line. Her bangs were loosely held back by a small barrette. She had some of her hair on one side tucked behind her ear, showing off a shiny pearl earring. Her cream colored dress flowed down her body to just above her knees. Sweet rose colored flowers printed on the fabric complemented her nicely. Loki took her in and could only compare her to a gorgeous doll. Her attention was completely given over to the little bundle in her arms. Loki’s heart melted as he saw Emily puff out her cheeks and make faces that elicited squeals and laughter from the baby. The tiny arm reached up and patted her face in excitement. No doubt Emily was made to be a mother...she just looked so natural with the child.  </p>
<p>Emily was in her glory. She didn’t care if she looked crazy making faces and cooing down at the 3 month old in her arms. Someday she hoped she’d be doing this exact same thing with a child of her own. The little one in her arms soaked up the attention and was eager to answer back to her baby talk with cooing and squeals. </p>
<p>“And whose bundle of joy are you holding?” A familiar deep velvet voice made her glance up quickly. She smiled brightly seeing it was indeed Loki. He wore an all black suit with a dark green collared shirt underneath that made his emerald eyes pop. His dark raven hair fell loosely around his face. Although it was combed back and away, it appeared several stubborn curls did not want to lay down flat. Emily felt her cheeks warm a bit as she took in how handsome he was tonight. </p>
<p>“Loki! I had hoped you’d come. This little one is Hogan’s and Lisa’s daughter, Mila.” Emily propped the child up facing Loki for the little introduction. Loki smiled warmly.</p>
<p>"You look very lovely this evening, Emily." Emily biting her lip glanced down at the baby again. His compliment did nothing to quell the blush in her cheeks. </p>
<p>"T-thank you! You look very handsome tonight. How was the concert?" Loki smiled back at her, loving her pink tinged cheeks. </p>
<p>"Thank you, my dear. And it went well. Hot with the stage lights, but can't complain." He then felt a hand clap his back and he whirled around to find a chuckling Hogun. </p>
<p>“My friend! It has been too long. But you finally get to meet my little Mila.” Hogun said so as a proud dad. Loki and Hogun shook hands and pulled each other in for a hug, patting each other’s backs. </p>
<p>“Hogun. It has been some time. You have a beautiful daughter. How has it been being a stay at home father?” Lisa walked up smiling widely at seeing Loki. Hogun reached around Lisa’s shoulders and gently pulled her to him. </p>
<p>“It’s been an adventure. I love every minute of it.” He chuckled with his eyes squinting shut. “This patient woman helps keep me sane.” </p>
<p>“Loki, it's so good to see you!” Lisa chimed in warmly. Loki leaned down to hug the short woman.</p>
<p>“It’s great to see you too, Lisa.” Loki smiled and was about to ask her a question, but Lisa stepped forward towards Emily. </p>
<p>“Thank you so much for watching her!” Emily giggled.</p>
<p>“It was no problem really, you were gone a total of maybe 10 minutes?” Lisa was about to pick up Mila from Emily’s arms, but she paused. </p>
<p>“Loki, would you like to hold her?” Loki had walked over hearing his name be called, but stopped dead in his tracks at hearing Lisa's question. Eyes wide, he stumbled in his reply.</p>
<p>“Oh! I-well, um...if you’re sure?” Loki was mildly panicking. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hold the child, it was that he’d never held a baby before. Emily could see his hesitancy and kindly assumed inexperience. She walked up to him with a gentle smile still holding Mila who was getting very sleepy. </p>
<p>“Just support her head and place your other arm under her bottom. Like this.” Loki appreciated the guidance greatly. Emily carefully lifted the child up and away from her towards Loki. Emily and Loki locked eyes as the child now rested peacefully in Loki’s arms. Their arms and hands had brushed together sending a zing sensation down to Emily’s toes. Biting her lip, she backed up a bit to let Loki adjust to the bundle in his arms. </p>
<p>“How’s it feel Lokes?” Fandral came up behind him and was smiling with a cheesy teasing grin. Loki looked down at the little girl in his arms. Her deep black hair looked so soft. She cooed up at him. She had found his finger and grasped it in her tiny clutch. Loki tried to sort out all the emotions in him that were running wild. He felt protective of her and assumed it must be his paternal instincts. He thought that he must have been about this age when Frigga had picked him out of the orphanage. Lastly he thought of how Odin must have never had a paternal instinct in his body. Noticing there had been a slight interlude since Fandral’s question, he answered honestly. </p>
<p>“It feels...wonderful.” Fandral wasn’t expecting such an honest admission, but smiled and nodded. Emily admired how taken Loki was with the little one. It was truly a beautiful sight. </p>
<p>“Well, I am the worst mom in the world. It is now almost 11 pm, little Mila you are hours past your bedtime.” As Lisa approached to take her child back, instinctively Loki held Mila a little tighter to his body. Realizing his inappropriate reaction, he apologized and gently handed the sleepy Mila to her mother. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Loki. I knew you’d be good with kids. Well, babies I should say. It was lovely to meet you Emily, best of luck finishing the school year. Loki, good to see you as always, we are going to finish our goodbyes and head out to get this one to bed.” After Hogun, Lisa, and Mila went on their way, Loki and Emily were left standing alone. </p>
<p>“Where’s Rebecca? I haven’t seen her yet tonight.” Emily was on her tiptoes looking around for the tall blonde. She desired to stay and talk with Loki, but she was leery after what happened last time the two of them were alone. She heard Loki heavily sigh and looked up to him. </p>
<p>“She won’t be here. We...we’re no longer together actually.” His tone did not reveal his opinion on the matter. Hearing this, Emily winced at herself for bringing her up in the conversation.</p>
<p>“I am so sorry, Loki! I shouldn’t have brought her up I-”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, really. I’m the one who ended it.” He gave her a sad smirk. Emily’s puppy dog eyes were conveying a lot of empathy for him. He hated when people pitied him, but he could tell Emily wasn’t pitying him. </p>
<p>“I won’t pry, but I hope you find happiness.” Loki smiled and was thankful she didn’t ask for details like most would. To be honest with himself, part of him was ashamed his girlfriend had cheated on him so often behind his back. “Would...would you like to get a drink with me?” Instantly Loki’s gut rolled. That was how his last relationship started and look how that ended. But looking at Emily’s shy and hopeful demeanor, he saw no seduction or hidden motive. He’d be cautious this time for sure, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t take risks. Even though his heart rate picked up, he nodded and quietly said he’d love to. </p>
<p>Emily began chewing her lower lip as she walked to the side of Loki towards the obnoxious bar. She did plan on getting a glass of wine before she left and didn’t want Loki to be just standing there alone. Especially now that she knew he had just ended his relationship. Honestly though, part of her silently cheered hearing the news. There was nothing healthy about the relationship and she was happy Loki was free of the crocodile. Finding an empty booth near the bar, she sat down on one side while Loki sat down on the other facing the bar. Emily noticed he had tensed up quite a bit and hoped she wasn’t being too forward or that she was inconveniencing him somehow.</p>
<p>“I’m going to go get a glass of wine, can I get you anything?” She sweetly projected over the ruckus. Loki knew this would happen if he sat down here. Now Emily was going to question him in an environment he didn’t feel safe in. Great. </p>
<p>“No thank you, darling.” Loki silently pleaded she’d leave it alone. But as usual, it was too good to be true. Her little brows knitted together in mild disbelief.</p>
<p>“You sure? Anything at all, Loki? I know you just came from the concert and-”</p>
<p>“No. Thank you, but I said no, Emily.” Emily quickly apologized and left the booth to get her wine. As she waited at the bar for her drink, she glanced over at Loki. He was resting his head in his hand by his thumb and index finger. With his other hand he was drumming his fingers on the table. Emily looked down and bit her lip. It was obvious he didn’t want to be here. Although she didn’t want to assume it was because of her, her insecure side started to peek out more. Before she walked back over to the booth, she had asked the bartender for just a glass of water. </p>
<p>Loki glanced up hearing footsteps approach. He was confused and mildly annoyed that she came back with two drinks. He hoped they were both for her since he couldn’t have been more clear that he did not want an alcoholic beverage. He sighed and sat up straighter as she timidly sat the drink in front of him. He frowned, but before he was able to say anything, Emily quickly explained.</p>
<p>“I-I know you said no to a drink, but I just thought water would be okay? Y-you don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to, but after singing for hours and up on the stage with the hot lights, well I just thought a cool glass of water would be nice...sorry.” She tucked into herself and brought her red wine up to her lips and sipped to fill the awkward silence. </p>
<p>It was just water? Loki felt his cheeks warm in embarrassment. He didn’t mean to over react, but being on edge made him overthink things. He wrapped his long fingers around the ice cold glass that was wet from the condensation. He brought it up to his lips and took several large gulps. Emily smiled at him and set her wine glass down.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Emily. I thought when you had asked me you were referring to just alcohol. I...I don’t drink.” He couldn’t believe he just admitted that, but her compassionate chocolate eyes were able to rip the truth from him. He cringed now waiting for the judgment. </p>
<p>“Oh! That’s okay, Loki. I’m sorry, I guess I should have clarified, I meant any beverage. I saw they had flavored lemonades here too that looked refreshing.” But then a thought hit her. Her eyes widened. “Is it okay if I drink? I-I am so sorry, do you want to go back to the party room?” Loki was beginning to wonder if this woman was for real. Not only did she not pry, but she was beyond considerate. </p>
<p>“No, you are just fine, Emily. I’ve built up a tolerance to be around it, but I will never let it pass my lips.” Emily just nodded and smiled at him reassuringly. Although she’d never outright ask him, she did wonder why. If it was a religious reason, if he had been an alcoholic, or if he knew someone that was an alcoholic. Maybe he just didn’t enjoy the taste of alcohol. Loki started wondering more about Emily’s personal life. He realized he didn’t even know if she had a partner or lover. “Emily, I never asked you. Do you have a boyfriend?” Emily giggled and looked taken aback at the abrupt change in conversation. </p>
<p>“No, it’s just me, myself, and I.” She softly laughed. Loki smiled and found himself feeling rather relieved no one was dating her.</p>
<p>“I see. So, how’d you get into music?” Emily smiled brightly at hearing one of her passions mentioned.</p>
<p>“Besides it being part of my very soul, the one to teach me guitar, give me singing lessons, and encourage me would be my grandma. When...when I was barely four years old, my parents died in a car accident. I had been staying with my grandma for the weekend.” </p>
<p>
  <em> Four year old Emily bounced into the foyer, excited to show her grandma the pet ladybug she found. But as she flew past the threshold, she found her grandma sobbing into her hands sitting in her rocking chair. The phone with the long coiled cord was on the floor. Emily tip-toed over to her grandma. She was scared to see her nana so distraught.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Nana, what’s wong?” Emily reached out and petted her grandmother’s arm. Her grandma immediately removed her hands from her face and hastily wiped her eyes. Sniffing she reached down and pulled little Emily up into her lap. The old woman gazed into her granddaughter's concerned little face. Emily’s long brown hair was held up high in pigtails with bows. Her large brown eyes gazing up at her were too kind for this world. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Baby, nana got some bad news. Your mommy and daddy...they are with the angels, honey.” Little Emily frowned in thought. Eventually she looked up to her grandma and nodded real seriously.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Okay, nana. When they done visiting angels they come and pick me up, wight?” Instantly her grandma pulled her against her tightly. Emily felt a trickle of warm tears fall on her face from above. Her grandma rocked back and forth in comfort. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “No, baby. They live with the angels now. But they loved you so so very much.” Emily frowned and felt tears well up in her eyes. Her little mind slowly wrapped her head around what her grandma was telling her. Once she did, she began sobbing into her grandma’s bosom, clinging on tightly to the only family member she had left.  </em>
</p>
<p>“Well, long story short she became my legal guardian. She was already in her early 60s when it happened. People sometimes thought, and still do think I’m weird and old fashioned. But being raised by a woman who grew up in the 50s and 60s would rub off on you.” She giggled. “So, my love for classic vinyls and that genre of music I suppose links to her. She loved the guitar. She taught me all the chords she knew.” Emily smiled in reminisce. </p>
<p>“Your grandmother sounds like she was an incredible woman.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. She was. The energy I had as a child, and at her age, I’d say she was a saint.” They both laughed. “What about you, how did you get into music?” Loki thought of how to best answer that. </p>
<p>“Well, I suppose like you, music is part of my soul, but I also have always used it as my escape. I didn’t have the...warmest childhood, so music was my way of finding a safe place. With guitar, for a while I just strummed until I could read. I taught myself the basics, but desired to learn more. I’d scribble down some songs here and there, but I’d lose them or they’d get thrown away…But I always knew it was what I wanted to do when I grew up. When I was about ten, I moved to New York from London. When I was about fourteen, I wandered into a music shop. The owner was a kind Swedish man who showed me and taught me how to play several instruments.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Fourteen year old Loki hesitantly walked into the music shop. The smell of antiques, brass, and rosin from a violin’s bow filled his nostrils. It was a comforting smell. His jaw dropped at seeing the hundreds of instruments on the walls, the grand pianos lined up against the wall. The building must have been at least 100 years old. It was connected to a clothing boutique and beauty shop. Which is why Loki hadn’t walked down this way before. He ventured further in but startled at hearing the creak of someone coming down the old thick wooden staircase.  </em>
</p>
<p><em> “Welcome, lad. I’m James </em> <em> Nilsson. </em> <em> How can I help ya today?” Loki grew a little nervous. He didn’t have any money, but he wanted nothing more than to hold the instruments and hear the echo of the piano keys under his fingers.  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “N-nothing, sir. I was just looking.” The middle-aged man had curly blonde hair and wore an enthusiastic grin as he approached the boy.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Would ya be interested in seein’ a 1952 Gibson Les Paul guitar?” Loki’s eyes lit up with interest. He eagerly nodded and followed the man. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> * * * </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Loki had been coming to his store just about every day for the past several weeks. He enjoyed very much the kindness and attention of the older man. It was often just he and himself in the store. This particular evening, Mr. Nilsson let him practice with one of his older guitars. Loki began plucking the strings in fingerstyle, when suddenly the B string sprung out of place. Loki’s stomach dropped. No, no, no! Now hearing footsteps coming closer he knew he was gonna be in trouble. James Nilsson came around the corner to ask the boy if he wanted a snack, but frowned in worry at finding him very distraught.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Lad, what’s got ya worked up so?” Loki looked at him with eyes wide full of unshed tears. His hands started to shake and he stepped backwards. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I-I’m so sorry s-sir, Mr. Nilsson. I-It was an accident. Please, I’m sorry!” James now saw what Loki had been referring to at seeing one of the strings had popped off the tuning peg. It had happened before. Nothing to worry about. What had him worried was the fear on the child’s face. He did not like that one bit. Instead of approaching him, he sat down.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Loki, have I ever shown you how to repair a broken guitar string?” He kept his voice light and soft.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “N-no, sir.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “The thing about this old beauty is her pegs have burred edges. This can cause the strings to pop off. It's happened before. Come here, lad." Loki swallowed a dry lump and tentatively approached him. He didn't think he was going to be hit, but stayed on the cautious side. Mr. Nillson had been patient and helped Loki fix the guitar. It was the first time Loki truly felt safe with an adult man. </em>
</p>
<p>"The man was a music genius. I was very privileged to know him. He passed away after Frost City was initiated. He was, I suppose you could say, instrumental in making me the man I am today." Emily had listened attentively. </p>
<p>"Well I'm very glad you found that store then. I'm sorry for your loss." Since Frost City was started not even two years ago, Emily knew his loss was a lot fresher than hers. Loki hummed in acknowledgement. </p>
<p>"Thank you. Tell me, what wine do you drink?" Loki nodded towards the now empty glass sitting between them.  </p>
<p>"Oh! This was Pinot Noir, my favorite wine. But I typically like sweet fruity drinks." Emily was slightly hesitant talking about drinking, but Loki was the one to bring it up. Loki chuckled. </p>
<p>"Sweet drinks suit a sweet woman." Emily giggled and blushed. </p>
<p>"Thank you….so you live in New York then when you're not touring the country?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, over in Brooklyn." </p>
<p>“That’s less than three hours from here. So are you almost done with the tour then?” </p>
<p>“Just about actually. We have about a month and a half left. No more breaks though, so every weekend we will be performing somewhere. Although, I think we will stay on this side of the country until the end now.” As Loki continued to talk with Emily, he felt his muscles start to relax. The clanking and boisterous laughter bothered him less and less. </p>
<p>“So, tell me, you said last time we were together that you play and sing for your students?”</p>
<p>“Yes! They love it just as much as me I think. We sing a good morning song, and then at the end of the day I let the kids vote on the song they want to sing. I sit on my rocking chair with my guitar, and they sit on my colorful rug. The song we sang today before they left was, ‘The Wheels on the Bus.’” Loki laughed with her, seeing her joy being almost childlike. She wasn’t childish, but the innocence and happiness she radiated would be that of a child’s. Unfortunately their pleasant moment was ripped away from them by the commotion at the bar. </p>
<p>“I don’t GIVE A FUCK!” Loki’s eyes scanned over to the bar and his blood ran ice cold. The man who was screaming and causing a scene had a long beard and eye patch. Too familiar. Not good. The logical part of his brain told him it was impossible that it was <em> him </em> here in America. Besides, the patch was on the wrong eye and the beard was the wrong color. However, the majority of Loki’s being didn’t really care if it was logical or not. Instead it kicked him into flight or fight response. As his body felt like it was being doused in cold water, he couldn’t do anything at that moment except drown in flashbacks.</p>
<p>“Give me my damn beer NOW! You useless son of a bitch.” The man growled and stumbled in his footing. He clearly had too much to drink. The commotion escalated as the bartender called in security. More screaming, and fists swinging now. Emily had never witnessed a bar fight, as she had turned around in shock at the scene before her. She was about to tell Loki they should probably get out of here. When she whirled around to face him though, she did not like what she was greeted with. Loki’s jaw was clenched so tight she worried his teeth would crack. His hands were shaking, but griping the table to the point he had white knuckles. His face was paler than usual and his eyes stared down at the table with an intense fear. A smash of glass made him flinch something awful as if it would be directed at him. Emily quickly turned back around to see the bearded man being dragged away by cops and security guards. With the threat being eliminated, she felt more comfortable to act. Having her trauma informed seminars, she knew Loki had been triggered from the brawl at the bar. Perhaps it was connected to his insistence of never touching alcohol.</p>
<p>No matter the reason or the cause, Emily’s main focus now was getting through to Loki; knowing his mind had been submerged into a terrifying place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Party Part II - Never Been Kissed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily comforts Loki and some fluff happens after all that angst he endured.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!<br/>Hope everyone is staying safe out there...<br/>Although this chapter has Loki's panic attack, it's mostly comforting time provided by Emily. </p>
<p>WARNING: Panic attacks, mentions of child abuse.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bar had become noticeably more quiet since the violent man was dragged away. Loki had not loosened his grip on the table and Emily watched as he squeezed his eyes shut and quickly and subtly shook his head, trying to free himself from his plaguing thoughts. Emily leaned forward slightly and brought her hand closer to his clenched one, but did not reach out to grab it. </p>
<p>“Loki. You’re safe right now. No one is going to hurt you, and no one is being hurt. Right now you are at a big fancy hotel with me, Emily.” She kept her voice calm and soft. She intently stared at his face for any reaction from her words. His eyes opened and he slightly furrowed his brow gazing intently at the table. Good. He was slowly but surely responding to her, she thought.</p>
<p>Loki felt almost detached from his body; he was stuck and lost in a dark tunnel. His chest felt like a snake was wrapped around his lungs constricting his breathing and his heart pounded heavy and mercilessly within his chest. His fingers were numb gripping the table and the muscles in his body were taunt. Like a guitar string stretched too tightly that was one pluck away from springing off the fret-board. He frowned though hearing a comforting soft voice pull him into the present. It lasted but a second before he remembered the man he had seen just minutes ago. For Loki, that man wasn’t a stranger. He was the one who he could never please. The man who beat him and made his childhood a living hell. The crash of the bottle moments ago like the ones that had been hurled at him from a drunk Odin. Hearing the woman’s screams at the bar as the man was dragged away he had heard his mother’s screams and pleads. </p>
<p>Emily saw Loki’s eyes shut again as his frown deepened. She knew it was a risk, but she slowly hovered her hand above his that was still firmly clenched around the edge of the table. “Loki, I am going to put my hand on yours now, okay? Just to help ground you to the present. You are not going to be harmed, and you are safe.” </p>
<p>Safe? Hearing the word Loki did all he could to cling to it. Though it made little sense to him right now, safety was desperately what he wanted. He flinched as he felt a warm small hand slowly rest upon his right clenched one. </p>
<p>Emily knit her brows in worry and thought she had made a mistake. As she was about to retract her hand, Loki breathed in deeply through his nose and slowly exhaled through his mouth. Good! More progress, although he had yet to acknowledge her with eye contact, she knew he was headed in the right direction. Emily glanced around hearing the atmosphere of the bar escalate slightly with laughter and clanking of drinks. Although they were happy noises, she quickly thought of a quieter place she could bring Loki that wouldn’t be terribly loud or triggering. Gently and slowly, she squeezed his hand to keep him in the present.</p>
<p>“Loki, take another deep breath with me...good, just like that. One more.” And he did so. “Loki, can you hear me? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk. Squeeze my hand if you’re with me.” His hand underneath her hesitantly unlatched from the table and grasped her hand. He gave a small firm squeeze. Emily smiled down at their linked hands. Loki’s shakiness had calmed down slightly. “Good job. Okay, stay with me now. You are safe.” She rose from her spot still holding his hand and stood next to him. “How about we go somewhere a little quieter, okay? Can you follow me?” Loki took another deep breath and nodded his head still averting his eyes from her. </p>
<p>He shakily stood finally becoming more aware of where he was and who he was with. Although it bothered him slightly more than it should have, he noticed how sweaty his palms were. Emily didn’t seem to care or notice though. As Loki followed her, keeping a relatively tight grasp on her hand, his mind became a taunting and cruel place of self deprecation. Complete idiot. Emily must think him a fool. What full grown man gets that fucking afraid...like a scared little boy. How stupid and weak he is. After all these years...yes. Odin was right. He was unwanted and not deserving of love or-</p>
<p>“Is this alright, Loki?” Emily’s soft voice brought him to his senses as he glanced up to see her standing next to the balcony door. The warm wind had become a cool breeze filtering into the party room. </p>
<p>“Y-yes.” He cringed at how small his voice sounded and cleared his throat as Emily led them outside. They were the only ones out there since it had cooled off. His mind was just about cleared of the nagging nightmare memories as they stood in the cool fresh night air. </p>
<p>Emily looked around at the small balcony. It extended about ten feet and was about eight feet wide. Dark wooden beams above enclosed the area slightly. Small dim yellow lights were strung along the beams creating a cozy atmosphere. A wicker couch with deep purple cushions sat on the right side of the balcony. In front of the couch there was a short metal flower designed table with a glass top. Three fat cream colored candles were glowing on top of it. The flames were protected from the tall wax slowly melting away. Looking up at the night sky, Emily gazed at a full moon with billions of twinkling stars. It was a clear quiet night. The cool breeze caused her to shiver as goosebumps formed. Still holding on to Loki’s hand, she led him to the couch and sat down.  </p>
<p>“Loki, can you please tell me two things you see?” Loki frowned as he sat next to her and wondered why she’d ask such a question, but answered anyway.</p>
<p>“I...I see the wooden rail of the balcony...um. I s-see the night sky and the moon.” </p>
<p>“Very good. Can you please tell me two things you feel?” </p>
<p>“I feel...the cool breeze on my skin. A-and feel our hands together.” Emily was carefully watching his face and held back a wide smile at seeing his pale face tinge pink at the last admittance. </p>
<p>“Great. Can you now tell me two things you hear?” Loki was beginning to understand what she was doing. As he thought more of what was currently around him, he became more fully in the present. Emily’s voice was not condescending or making him feel stupid. It was gentle and kind. </p>
<p>“Yes. I hear the distant chatter of people in the party room. I hear the slight creak of the balcony door.” Emily smiled at hearing the confidence in his voice return. </p>
<p>“Last one, Loki. Can you tell me two things you smell?” Loki frowned and closed his eyes to concentrate. Inhaling deeply he opened his eyes. </p>
<p>“I smell the vanilla scent of the candles and...I-I smell your soft flowery perfume.” Now it was Emily who slightly blushed. </p>
<p>Loki softly smiled and finally got the courage to look Emily in the eye. He saw her chocolate brown eyes gleam brightly in the moonlight. Her face conveyed reassurance and patience. A subtle smile graced her face. </p>
<p>“Thank you…” Loki’s utterance was barely above a whisper. His mind had grown quiet and although part of him feared he lost a chance at being the very least Emily’s friend, he was grateful for her patience and understanding. </p>
<p>Emily could see he was back to himself. Smiling more widely she just nodded and squeezed his hand. Neither of them wanted to let go of each other’s hand. So they didn’t. They sat in silence for a while, but it was neither awkward or brooding. </p>
<p>“You know, I wish my apartment had a balcony like this. I’d probably even sleep out here.” Loki’s dark brows rose in amusement and he couldn’t help but smile picturing Emily curled up on the wicker couch in a blanket. </p>
<p>“You’d just about freeze to death, my dear.” Emily pouted, but knew he was right. Her teeth were ready to start chattering. Loki chuckled at her adorable puffed cheeks. </p>
<p>“Well, maybe now I would, but later in the summer I wouldn’t! It’s just so cozy and beautiful all at once.” Loki hummed in agreement. Emily scooted closer to Loki as another breeze of cool air hit her. Loki looked down and frowned at the goosebumps on her arms and knees that were near his eye sight. He pulled away and let go of her hand. Emily was not expecting that, and felt disappointed, but respected his space. She saw Loki began removing his black suit jacket. </p>
<p>“Loki! What on earth are you doing? Keep that thing on, it’s cold out here.” Loki chuckled at her and when he fully removed his jacket, he opened it up to hover just above her shoulders. </p>
<p>“May I?” Emily’s eyes widened at the gesture, but she found her voice despite the shivering. </p>
<p>“O-of course. Thank you!” Emily sighed in content when she felt the heavy suit jacket envelope her. It was still warm from his body heat and it smelled like him. Earthy cologne and fresh mint. “What if you get cold now?” Again, Loki chuckled, catching himself to be continuously amazed at Emily’s kind heart. </p>
<p>“I am plenty warm enough, darling. Besides, I’ve never really been bothered with the cold as much. When heating bills weren’t paid when I was first in the states, I learned how to deal with it.” </p>
<p>“...If you insist. Loki...I want you to know that I am here for you if you ever want to talk about things. Also, if this is not completely invasive...I don’t mean to be rude, but if you ever want to talk to someone professionally, I know some people that have connections.” Loki took a deep breath and looked away from her. Emily bit her lip, hoping she didn’t offend him. Her worry increased when he let go of her hand and stood up. He walked to the ledge of the balcony looking off into the distance.</p>
<p>“I’m not weak, Emily.” His voice rumbled dejectedly. Emily’s eyes widened and she hurried to his side gently grabbing his arm. </p>
<p>“No! No, no no, Loki. I know you aren’t weak. You are honestly one of the strongest people I know.” Loki glanced down at her, narrowing his eyes at that statement. Emily had just seen him have a panic attack and that made her think he was...strong?</p>
<p>“Explain.” His voice wasn’t harsh, but curious. How did losing his shit make him strong?</p>
<p>“Loki, I don’t know what you have been through, what you have experienced, or witnessed. But for someone with that background to be able to tour the country and get up on all those stages in front of hundreds and at times thousands of people...how could anyone not say that takes bravery and courage. Courage doesn’t occur in a person with stupid arrogance. It occurs in the people that are afraid. That are suffering. But despite their fear and pain, they preserve and thrive. That’s what strength is. And I see that in you, Loki.” Her words were claimed with such admiration and confidence. Loki felt himself tear up. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. It felt like a dam in his heart cracked, letting out pain he had kept locked away. He thickly swallowed and reached out for her hand again, squeezing it. He did all he could to keep the tears from falling. However, one fat tear trickled down his face. Emily slowly brought her hand up to gently wipe away the tear with her thumb. He closed his eyes causing the rest of the welled up tears to fall. He let out a shaky breath and leaned into Emily’s touch. Moments later he sniffed and cleared his throat. Bringing his other hand up, he wiped his eyes dry with his green sleeve at his wrist. </p>
<p>“Would you like to go back inside?” Emily softly asked seeing Loki compose himself more. It was well past midnight for sure. She could hear less and less voices in the room as the minutes passed. Loki furrowed his brow and leaned backwards to peer into the room. Not many people were left. He didn’t even see Sif or Mark. Fandral and Volstagg were lounging, but looked as if they were going to take off any second. Being honest with himself as he looked back down to Emily, he didn’t want this to end. </p>
<p>“If...if it is alright with you, may we stay out here for a couple more minutes? But if you are too cold I unders-”</p>
<p>“That’s fine! Your coat is very cozy and warm.” Emily giggled making Loki smile. He missed that sweet little noise. Loki was suddenly hit with a realization. Every time he was with Emily, he never wanted the moment to end. Was it too soon though to attempt another relationship? He just felt like he could truly be himself around her. With such a kind heart she never had put him down or laughed at his pain. She was still holding his hand and now caressing her little thumb over his knuckle. And oh was she beautiful. As her brown eyes gazed up at him in her little cream dress completely immersed in his large jacket suit, he decided he’d be absolutely foolish not to try.</p>
<p>Emily swallowed hard noticing how close they were now standing to each other. Their hands were still connected. Loki gazed down at her with such a sincere vulnerable expression. </p>
<p>“Emily, may...may I kiss you?” Loki’s soft deep voice asked in just above a whisper. Emily’s heart felt like it was going to explode in her chest. Loki saw her chocolate brown eyes widen in alarm and her beautiful plump lips try to form words. Her entire body language was suddenly emitting waves of anxiety. She eventually looked down and bit her lip. His stomach dropped slightly. Of course she wouldn’t want a relationship with me, Loki thought. Yet she held his hand and somehow innocently enough, led him on. He sighed and stepped away letting go of her hand masking his slight hurt. “Thank you for helping me this evening. I apologize for my forwardness. It won’t happen again.” As he turned to leave the balcony, he felt cold little hands grab his left hand with a slight tug. Immediately he turned to face her with a confused frown. </p>
<p>“No, Loki. You misunderstand my hesitancy. I...well.” Loki watched curiously and confusingly as her cheeks tinged pink. If he misunderstood, that meant that she had wanted to kiss him. And yet her body language showed the complete opposite. Emily sighed and softly admitted, “I’ve never been kissed...I’m afraid I’ll mess up or do it wrong somehow.” Now it was Loki’s turn for his eyes to widen. Emily bit her lip waiting for the jokes or mockery to start. Not that she thought Loki would do such a thing, but because that’s what usually followed after such an admittance. </p>
<p>“What?” Loki was in disbelief. How did this sweet woman not have a million men lined up to kiss those luscious looking lips. He also became aware that if she would allow him to kiss her now, he felt honored to be the first to do so. Emily glanced back up at him and swallowed hard. </p>
<p>“I-I almost did once. But, when I shared with him I was nervous, he laughed and called me a child. I snuck out of his hold when he did eventually lean in to kiss me. It just didn’t feel right. I felt trapped and humiliated. So, yeah. Nope, never have actually kissed anyone romantically.” She gave him a shy soft smirk. Loki fought the anger that bubbled up in his chest at hearing his sweet Emily...wait <em> his </em>? He slowly and gently brought his hand to cup her little face. </p>
<p>“Emily, I would be honored if you would allow me to be the first man to kiss your perfect lips.” Emily gasped and darted her tongue out to wet her lips. Her wide eyes were fleeting back and forth between his gentle gaze and parted pink lips. Her palms grew sweaty and she was sure Loki could hear the thumping of her heart in her chest. She held his green gaze and slowly nodded her head.</p>
<p>“Y-yes. I trust you.” Loki gave her a reassuring smile and very slowly leaned down and forward towards her. His eyes ever stuck on her fleshy reddened lips from her delicious biting lip habit. He heard her breath hitch and he glanced up to her eyes one last time. Her eyes gleamed with nervousness and excitement. Loki’s own heart was racing as he wanted to make sure he did this right. That she felt respected and pleased. Tilting his head slightly to the right, his lips hovered over hers. They both felt the heat of their breath on each other’s faces. Emily was squealing on the inside as she ever so gently felt the hand cupping her jaw apply soft pressure. Taking Loki’s silent instructions to tilt her head to the left, she did so. At that moment Emily’s eyelids softly closed and she felt the cool smooth lips of Loki’s on hers. Her stomach flipped and she let out a surprised tiny moan at the wonderful sensation. She had pursed her lips more and started slowly moving her lips to match Loki’s. </p>
<p>He just about died hearing the sweet little noise from her throat when their mouths first met. Loki couldn’t believe how soft Emily’s plump tentative lips were. He kissed her slowly and gently, encouraging her with the caress of his thumb along her cheek bone. His other hand snuck underneath his baggy jacket behind the middle of her back and gradually pulled her to him. </p>
<p>Her stomach fluttered feeling his large hand wrap around her waist and being slowly pulled towards him. She teetered on her tiptoes and tentatively brought her own arms around the back of his neck to anchor herself in place. Emily felt her knees grow weak from the kiss. So sensual, gentle, and slow. He didn’t make her feel insecure or rushed. Eventually she noticed her lungs were in burning need of oxygen. She reluctantly pulled back from him, panting with a large grin plastered on her face. Her hands shook with adrenaline as she brought one up to gently run along her lower lip. She felt her cheeks flush and was surprised to feel very warm considering how cold the air was. She couldn’t bring herself to look into his eyes. What if he didn’t enjoy the kiss as much as she did? </p>
<p>“Emily?” A soft velvet voice with a hint of concern pulled her eyes up to his. She saw he was slightly panting too with a soft grin on his face. Emily was relieved to see happiness in his eyes and found the confidence to speak.</p>
<p>“I know that was my first kiss, but...you’re a <em> really </em>good kisser.” Loki laughed in relief at hearing she had enjoyed the kiss as much as him. He leaned forward and planted a kiss to her forehead. </p>
<p>“My darling, that was the most pleasurable and enjoyable kiss I have ever received.” Emily giggled and beamed at the compliment. Loki took both of her hands in his, chuckling to see she had rolled his coat sleeves up literally halfway up the arm of the sleeve. She must have done so when they were still seated. </p>
<p>“Emily, I know that I travel now and then. But our homes are only a few hours apart. My point is Emily, you have absolutely enamored me. You have the kindest heart I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your voice is melodic as an angel's and your beauty is beyond comparison in my eyes. Would you consider being in a relationship with me?" Emily smiled so wide her cheeks hurt.</p>
<p>“Yes, Loki! Yes, I'd very much like to be in a relationship with you.” She looked down, biting her lip again and glancing back up. “Thank you for your kind words. I would feel like the luckiest woman in the world to date such a gentleman. I know the times we have met have all been by accident, so I would love it if we could intentionally meet with one another.” Loki laughed again and wrapped his arms around Emily for an embrace she eagerly returned. </p>
<p>“My dear Emily, I believe having intentional plans with each other sounds like a wonderful way to begin our relationship.” He grinned down at her and kissed the top of her head. Emily giggled and hugged him tighter. Despite the chilly breeze now bringing shivers to both of them, neither of them could recall ever feeling as warm and happy as they did in that moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. First Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily and Loki have their first official date.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello readers! Hope everyone is doing well.<br/>Here is a fluffy chapter. Maybe slight angst in the beginning with Emily's insecurities, but overall it's pretty much fluff.<br/>Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning sun filtered into the small bedroom in Emily’s apartment. She cracked an eye open to see 9:05 am on her retro alarm clock. Stretching her arms and legs with a soft yawn, she started to smile remembering last night. Biting her lower lip, she rolled onto her side and curled up in her blankets with a contented sigh. Bringing her hand up to her face, she ran her fingers along her lips that hours ago were connected with Loki’s. She closed her eyes and giggled reminiscing about his gentle touch and kind words. Emily couldn’t believe she had a boyfriend now...something definitely to tell Amanda about in their next phone call. Her heart sunk a little when she remembered how petrified Loki seemed after that crazy drunk had appeared at the bar. She vowed to herself she’d always be there to help Loki and support him. He didn’t seem to appreciate the “professional help” idea, but from her training she could teach him at least some breathing techniques, grounding, and possibly some positive affirmation. She herself had used the breathing techniques and positive affirmation when her anxiety reared its ugly head. She’d never force him to learn anything or take her advice, but she’d most definitely willingly offer it. After all, in college she had a few sessions with a therapist for her anxiety and insecurities from the bullying and demeaning teasing she endured as a child. </p>
<p>Sighing, she rose from the bed and walked past her closet mirror door. Stopping in front of it, her insecure thoughts lurked close. She gazed at a short woman clad in a pearl pink mid thigh nightie. Brown waves were thrown every which way on top of a small head. Her slight curves were portioned to her height, but were pretty small compared to the average women. Frowning, she remembered Loki’s previous girlfriend. She was absolutely gorgeous. Curves and legs for days. Tall, blonde, and tan. What if Loki preferred that? She was the exact opposite! Short, slightly pale, and brunette with nothing to brag about. Tears pricked her eyes as she scolded herself on what a hypocrite she was. Telling everyone it’s what’s on the inside that counts. She remembered all the short wonderful moments, although not many, that she has had so far with Loki. There was nothing to be nervous about. Well, except when they sang together...oh that was magical. Now that they were officially a couple, why was her anxiety coming back? Was it just the negative thoughts on her appearance, or the worry of what he expected in a relationship? She knew he was no virgin from the crass language of his ex, but she herself just got her first kiss. Would he be okay with taking things slow? Was she good enough for him? Emily rolled her eyes at her own deprecating thoughts and did her best to quell the butterflies in her stomach thinking about the date in a mere three hours. </p>
<p>Before Emily and Loki went their separate ways the previous night, they shared numbers so they could call and text each other. As well as they set up their first date. Loki had sweetly whispered into her ear before they parted, “The first of many I hope.” So today, Saturday, they were to meet for lunch at the pizza plaza downtown. If only her nerves would quiet down. </p>
<p>.........................................</p>
<p>Loki glanced at his black wrist watch seeing it was 11:07 am. He knew he was ridiculously early for the noon date, but he parked downtown and was now walking along the local stores towards the pizza place Emily told him about. He had his hair tied up in a loose low bun and wore shades to help conceal his identity. Although his band was still new, he didn’t want to ruin his date with Emily by having fans in their faces all day. He appreciated his fans very much, but he always believed there was a time and a place. As he strolled past a boutique, a flower shop caught his eye. He walked over to peer into the glass window of the shop. Smiling, his eyes scanned over roses, tulips, lilies, carnations, and so many more kinds he didn’t even know the names of. He wanted to buy every single one in the store for Emily to share his thankfulness for her kind and beautiful soul. He frowned as he realized he didn’t know what her favorite flower was...or her favorite color. Walking into the little flower shop, an older woman arranging a bouquet at the counter glanced up hearing the chimes on the door. </p>
<p>“How may I help you today, sir?” The skin around her friendly eyes crinkled as she smiled at Loki. He folded his sunglasses and placed them in his chest pocket. </p>
<p>“Good morning. I am looking to find the perfect bouquet of flowers for a very special woman.” </p>
<p>“Ah, but of course.” She laughed and came around the counter towards him. “Would this special woman be a wife, perhaps?” Loki felt his cheeks warm slightly and he cleared his throat. Thinking of Emily as his wife made his heart stop...in a good way. </p>
<p>“No, perhaps one day. It is our first date, actually. She has the kindest heart I know.” The old woman smiled at seeing the affection in the young man’s eyes. </p>
<p>“First date and you see her as a potential spouse? I’d say she’s a keeper. Come along this way, I’ll help find the perfect flowers for this girl of yours.” Loki liked hearing that last part, and with a smile he thanked her and followed her to the vibrant clusters of flowers. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>“Thank you, again!” Loki called out as the chimes of the door rang out as he exited the shop. He now held a small bouquet of bright yellow, purple, and pink Peruvian lilies, soft pink coral scabiosas, vibrant orange and white carnations, athos poms, and an assortment of greenery. The long dark and light green stems were tied together in a silk white ribbon. Glancing down at his watch again, he saw it was now 11:37 am. He had taken his time with finding an assortment of beautiful flowers to place in the bouquet. Not knowing which ones she preferred, he thought it best to get a variety. He found himself walking into the pizza plaza and selected a little corner booth for two people. Light Italian music played in the background and every wall was plastered with pictures and posters of Italian landscapes. The restaurant itself could maybe hold 50 people, but it seemed it was popular for pick up as well. </p>
<p>Now seated at a black booth with light wood framing, he drummed his fingers on the table as a waitress walked by. </p>
<p>“Hi, how ya doing today? My name is Angela and I will be taking your order today.” The young teenage girl nervously smiled. She wore a high ponytail of long strawberry blond hair and fumbled slightly with her notepad. Loki smiled at her reassuringly as he could see ‘first job’ clearly written on her face. </p>
<p>“Doing fine, thank you. I am actually meeting someone that should be arriving shortly, would you mind coming back when she is here?” The girl nodded and closed her little notepad, tucking it into her apron. </p>
<p>“Of course, can I get you a drink while you wait?” </p>
<p>“Ice water, please.” The girl nodded again, and took notice of the beautiful collection of flowers sitting on the table. </p>
<p>“Whoever the girl is, she’ll love’m.” She smiled at him, pointing to the flowers as she walked away to get Loki his water. Loki chuckled and hoped she was right. </p>
<p>....................................</p>
<p>Having parked her 2009 Volkswagen Beetle Blush just a few blocks away from the pizza place, Emily opened the white car door and stepped out. Biting her lip to attempt to stave off the nerves, she smoothed down the light green skirt of her dress as it billowed in the breeze. Not many clouds in the sky today. The warm May air and sun felt like it was already mid-summer. Grabbing her brown leather purse, she draped the long worn strap over her shoulder, and headed for her pizza date. As she stood outside the restaurant, she took out her phone to see if she received a message from Loki. Maybe he had canceled or changed his mind about her. Scrolling through and finding no message, she inhaled deeply and opened the door. </p>
<p>Loki upon hearing the door open, glanced over and felt a huge grin spread across his face. Emily was on her tiptoes scanning the place for him as a waiter walked past her. Her soft green dress flowed down to just above her knees. A lighter green lace tie and bow on her waist. The sleeves stopped at her elbows. Loki stood up, grabbing the bouquet and waved to get her attention. Oh how he indeed hoped this would be the first of many dates. Her sweet smile and kind eyes had lit up as she saw him. He remained hopeful that he would keep her pleased enough to stay with him. </p>
<p>Emily’s eyes caught the movement of a waving Loki. Smiling widely, she meandered her way over to him. Emily, still smiling brightly, felt the exciting and fast pounding of her heart as she walked up to him. He wore black jeans with a dark blue blazer and a white t-shirt underneath. She had never seen his hair up, but admired how the loose curly bun flattered his long face and high cheekbones. Glancing down at what he was holding, she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Loki leaned down and gently embraced her.</p>
<p>“Hello, Emily. My, you look absolutely breathtaking.” His soft velvet voice and strong arms that enveloped her made Emily’s stomach curl in delight.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Loki. You’re looking handsome today. Well, you’re handsome every day I suppose. I mean...um, I like your hair today too.” Loki smiled down at her, holding in a chuckle from her adorable behavior, but didn’t want to offend her.</p>
<p>“Thank you, darling. And forgive me, I did not know which flower you prefer...or color for that matter.” With that he almost shyly held out the bouquet to her. Emily beamed as she carefully took the colorful cluster from him. Bringing the beautiful flowers up to her nose, she closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet flowery fragrance.</p>
<p>“Oh, Loki! These are lovely. To tell you the truth...” They both now sat down at the table. “I don’t have a favorite flower. I think they're all too beautiful for me to pick just one. And my favorite color is turquoise. If you ever come over to my apartment I can show you on my couch.” Loki’s eyes slightly widened at how that sounded, but knew Emily must have been inferring her couch was turquoise. “What about you, what’s your favorite color?” Emily silently cringed and wondered if her question sounded childish. She hated that her anxiety and stupid insecurities were rumbling around in her mind and twisting her stomach. She saw a mischievous glint in his green eyes as he smirked leaning back to sip his water. </p>
<p>“You are wearing it, darling.” Emily bit her lip and could have sworn his voice sounded deeper than usual. Brushing stray brown curls behind her ear, she smiled at him feeling yet another blush upon her face. She wondered if she would ever not blush in this man’s presence. Just then the waitress returned to Loki’s table.</p>
<p>“Hi, again. I completely forgot, here are your menus. Um, can I get you anything to drink?” The young waitress asked Emily. Emily quickly scanned the list of drinks on the menu. </p>
<p>“Strawberry lemonade please, thank you.” After she walked away, Loki and Emily scanned over their menus. Emily bit her lip during the silence between them and was grateful for the soft music playing. She lifted her menu a little more, and felt like a coward hiding behind it. Chewing on her lip she re-read the menu for the third time while already knowing exactly what she was going to get the moment she walked in the place. Emily mumbled a thank you when the waitress brought her lemonade and sat it in front of her. She said she’d be back to take orders in a few minutes. Loki had decided on pepperoni pizza. It had been awhile since he had pizza and was looking forward to the greasy and cheesy taste. He slightly frowned as he noticed Emily had appeared to close herself off to him. </p>
<p>“Emily?” Loki’s soft and slightly concerned voice reached her ears. Emily mentally scolded herself, having her nervousness being seen. Sighing, she slowly and trying her best to be nonchalant, lowered the menu. </p>
<p>“Yes, Loki?” </p>
<p>“Have you decided what sounds good to you?” </p>
<p>“Yes! I always get the Pizza Margherita here.” Then she remembered how long she looked over the menu. “But...I um wanted to see if anything else sounded good for lunch. Nope, I’ll stick with my classic.” She gave a forced smile and had decided that she was terrible at dates. It had actually been two years since her last one. Her mind started to wander. Her last date didn’t end well. Just like she told Loki before they kissed. Oh that kiss with Loki. He just has the perfect lips. What if I pizza breath after this? Surely he won’t want to kiss me-</p>
<p>“Emily, is something wrong?” Loki couldn’t put a finger on it, but he could practically hear the cogs in her mind spinning. He grew more worried as she looked mildly like a deer caught in headlights.</p>
<p>Emily looked down and frowned. She really didn’t want to tell him about her anxiousness, but as she looked up at his concern, she couldn’t help but feel reassured. She also remembered how vulnerable he was last night and yet allowed her to stay and be with him through it. That was what made her decide to share honestly. Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eye.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Loki. I just. It’s not you, really. You see I-” She stopped speaking as he held up a hand to silence her. She furrowed her brow.</p>
<p> Loki didn’t want to hear it. Knowing her next words to be, <em> I’m sorry Loki, It’s not you, it’s me. I can’t do this. </em>His stomach dropped. What had he done wrong? He bought flowers, he had been on time. Last night was a perfect dream on that balcony. Was that all it was? </p>
<p>“I see. Well, thank you for a lovely evening last night. I will treasure it always. Forgive me if I have done something wrong.” He stood up, and Emily was stunned. He was leaving?! She quickly stood too.</p>
<p>“Loki! I haven’t even said what I was going to say. Why...why are you leaving?” Loki gazed down at her little face with her brows slightly scrunched up in worry. She wasn’t dumping him? He slowly sat down, as did Emily. </p>
<p>“You’re not...not ending our relationship?” He sounded tentatively hopeful but cursed himself on the inside. One thing for sure he knew he had to work on was not to assume. He never wanted to get his hopes up. Every time he sensed the end of something, especially a relationship, he’d shy away and leave before he’d let the hurt be shown. </p>
<p>“E-ending our relationship? No! I was trying to say...I am nervous, okay?” Emily bit her lip, but was happy Loki stayed quiet this time. “I...I sometimes have anxiety and insecurities that make me, well, nervous. I meant that it wasn’t really you per say that makes me nervous, but the thought of not being enough, or not what you want. Um, of relationships in general I guess. I never grew up with a mom or dad to see a normal healthy relationship. My friend’s parents were divorced, and so I have always felt like I had nothing to go on. I’m inexperienced, ridiculously short and shy. I mean, what guy wants that?” Her heart pounded at the confession she made, awaiting his judgment. He was looking at her with wide eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“Emily, darling. Thank you for being so honest with me. Dearheart, you have no reason to be anxious around me. I understand though thoughts and feelings are hard to control. May I share a secret with you?” Emily shyly nodded.</p>
<p>“I am nervous too. The reason I didn’t let you finish before was because I was scared you’d tell me this was over. I’m nervous that <em> I </em> won’t be enough for <em> you </em>. Because Emily, I very much enjoy your adorable stature, tentative and shy nature, and your kind and beautiful soul. When I chose each one of those flowers in your bouquet, I did so thinking of your sweet smile and gentle touch. The question is not if you are enough for me. It’s if I am enough for you.” Emily felt tears prick her eyes. Looking down, one tear escaped down her face. When she felt she could speak again, she glanced back up at Loki.</p>
<p>“Thank you...I suppose then we should rethink our thoughts from not deserving each other...to being grateful we have one another.” Loki smiled at those beautiful words. He lifted up his practically empty water glass towards Emily. She giggled and did the same with her full glass of lemonade. Loki cleared his throat. </p>
<p>“Cheers to being grateful for being together. Because Emily, I am most grateful you allow me to hold your heart, darling.” With that he clanked his glass to hers as they exclaimed, “Cheers!” in unison. Emily’s small giggles turned into a happy laugh that made Loki’s stomach flutter.</p>
<p>“Yes, cheers to the first of many dates.” Loki grinned at Emily’s addition and they both sipped from their beverage. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Emily was laughing so hard she felt tears run down her face. They had been sharing stories back and forth as their pizzas cooled. “No way! What did he do then?” Loki was laughing right along with her, reminiscing the prank. </p>
<p>“Well, besides screaming like a twelve year old girl and jumping up on the couch, he threw Sif’s drumstick at me.” Emily continued to giggle as she pictured the blonde suave Fandral jumping and screaming from the little surprise in his guitar case.</p>
<p>“Originally I thought to put the harmless garden snake in Sif’s drum equipment, but I wanted to continue living that day.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I agree, a long green snake in Fandral’s guitar case had much better results." Their giggles died down to big grins and Emily wiped a joyful tear from her eye. "When I was thirteen or fourteen for April fools, I switched my grandma’s sugar and salt and replaced the wrapping of her cooking spray with Febreze spray wrapping." Loki chuckled picturing a clever young Emily sneaking into the kitchen. "She discovered the switch of salt halfway through making cookies, but thought the Febreze was broken after spraying it thoroughly through the house. I couldn't stop laughing watching her confused frown shaking the spray can and smelling the air." Emily giggled. "Eventually she figured it out and gave an outright laugh with a playful scolding."</p>
<p>“Glad she had a good sense of humor and appreciated your creativity.” Loki grinned at her, pleased to hear she enjoyed a good prank. </p>
<p>"Yeah, she was definitely one for humor." Emily placed a paper napkin on her lap and picked up her no longer steaming piece of pizza. Loki did the same. As he took a bite and pulled away from the pizza he held, large strings of cheese clung to the piece in his mouth. Loki attempted to pull the pizza away to separate it, but ended up pulling more cheese off the piece in his hand. His face reddened as he felt like he was making a fool of himself. Emily couldn't help but giggle behind her hand. The pizza here was known for their cheese that's for sure. She took a huge bite of her own, and to her expectation, the string of cheese stayed connected to the piece in her hand. Their eyes met during their individual struggle to be polite and still eat the string of cheese. The slight tension broke and they erupted out in laughter again. Emily felt the last of her nerves ebb away.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Emily gave a little groan and placed her hand on her stomach. “Loki, you just might have to roll me to my vehicle, I don’t think I can walk.” Loki chuckled, but mostly in understanding as he also felt the pleasant stretch of a full stomach filled with pizza. </p>
<p>“Well, if you feel up for it, how about we take a stroll and explore your town a bit? Or if you have to go, I understand. It’s...” He glanced down at his wrist watch. “1:15 pm.” Emily smiled widely hearing he didn’t want the date to end either. She brought up her purse and began pulling out her wallet. </p>
<p>“Sure! I’m not busy for the rest of the afternoon, perks of being a preschool teacher I suppose. No homework to grade and weekends off with an occasional teaching conference here and there or light tutoring.” She giggled. Loki smiled, but then frowned in confusion of why she had taken her wallet out. She knew he would pay for their date, didn’t she? </p>
<p>“Emily dear, you do know I intend to pay for our first date?” He smirked and pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. </p>
<p>“No! Are you sure? We could split it, or I could-”</p>
<p>“Emily, please? If in the future you wish to contribute, we can split bills or however we want to do it. But may I pay for our first date?” Emily bit her lower lip and hesitantly slid her wallet back in her leather bag. Looking back up to him she gave him a warm grateful smile.</p>
<p>“Well thank you, Loki.” He hummed pleasantly in acknowledgement. When the waitress returned with his card, she lingered a bit tapping her pen on her notepad. </p>
<p>“Um, I-I know you’re Loki from Frost City. It took me a bit to recognize you, but when I realized it, I almost dropped your pizzas. I didn’t though! I don’t want to ruin your date, but really, when will I ever see you again? You are amazing and um a bit of a musical inspiration for me...can I have your autograph, please?” The blushing waitress held up her notepad and pen tentatively in his direction. Excitement rolled off her, and Loki barely understood her rushed breathy question. He took the items from the girl’s hands and looked over at Emily, almost apologetically. He quickly signed his name, and above wrote, <em> Never give up on your dreams, Angela. </em>He handed it back to her with a small smile. In return he thought he heard a thank you, but it was more of a sing-song squeak. </p>
<p>Walking out of the pizza plaza, Loki wrapped his hand around Emily’s and interlaced their fingers. Her other hand held her lovely bouquet with her brown leather purse over her shoulder. She started swinging their hands and enjoyed the cool smooth skin of his large palm. </p>
<p>“Forgive me, I didn’t want to interrupt our date for fans, I won’t do it again I-”</p>
<p>“Loki! Oh my goodness are you kidding? You just made that girl’s day, if not year.” She giggled. “If I were her I would have dropped the pizzas and may have been too shy to ask for your autograph, but I would have attempted it.” Loki looked down giving her a thoughtful look that melted into a mischievous smirk as they slowly walked hand in hand. </p>
<p>“Well, my dear, instead of an autograph I will give you this.” He stopped walking and leaned down and kissed her cheek at the corner of her lips. Emily gave a little gasp and Loki proudly admired how he could make Emily blush. </p>
<p>Emily felt her cheeks color, and looked over to Loki’s chest pocket. Seeing some dark sunglasses in there, she let go of his hand and plucked the glasses out of the pocket. Perhaps she could hide her blush even just a little. Loki chuckled seeing her put his sunglasses on, only for them to slide down her nose and almost completely off her face. Chuckling, he thought of an idea as he saw inside the next store’s window. </p>
<p>“Emily, would you like to shop for sunglasses? As much as I adore seeing you wear mine, I’m afraid they are too big for you, darling.” Emily playfully pouted and smiled as she folded his glasses and carefully placed them back in his pocket. Looking over to the store next to them, she saw where Loki got the idea. Alisha and Abby’s Accessories, the little boutique had sunglasses, jewelry, ties for men, and oh! Excitedly, Emily grabbed Loki’s hand again and pulled him into the shop. Loki chuckled at her enthusiasm, delighted to find out what caused it. He was taken to a section of beautiful unique fascinators. </p>
<p>“Look, Loki! You said you are from England, right? These are English hats!” She grabbed a light blue one with sheer lace ribbons and dark blue and white feathers. Placing it upon her head, she posed dramatically holding her flowers up to her face. “Well ‘ello good sir. Shall we ‘ave tea in the parlor after our delightful stroll in the park?” Loki laughed as he shook his head in mock disapproval at her ridiculous British accent. </p>
<p>“No my fine lady, I prefer coffee, although I do find your fascinator very lovely on your petite head.” He accentuated his accent and walked up to her, tapping the brim of the hat. </p>
<p>“Oh, is that what these are called?” Emily giggled and laughed as she tried on several of them. Getting on her tiptoes, she picked out a dark green one with yellow lace bows. She motioned for him to crouch down which he playfully reluctantly did. She placed and adjusted the feminine fascinator on his head and snickered as he stood back up to his full height. </p>
<p>Loki crossed his arms over his chest and playfully rolled his eyes. He grinned down at her feeling his mischievous side ease out. In a high pitched feminine voice he remarked, “Well darling, I believe the blue one would match my blazer more, wouldn’t you agree?” Emily’s laughter rang out in the little shop and she quickly covered her mouth just realizing how loud she was. Loki’s grin grew at hearing that angelic and joyful sound. As he was about to take off the fascinator, Emily stopped him.</p>
<p>“Wait! Can we take a picture, please? So I can always remember this moment?” Loki hesitated, not really wanting evidence of wearing a woman's hat, but gazing in those pleading chocolate eyes of hers, he couldn’t say no. </p>
<p>“One picture.” She squeaked in excitement and put the blue fascinator back on her head and took out her phone. Snapping the photo, she and Loki looked at it. Emily smiled brightly, planning to always cherish it. </p>
<p>“If you ever post that I will tickle you to death.” Emily looked over to him pretending to be offended.</p>
<p>“Hey! You don’t even know if I’m ticklish, mister.” Loki quirked one eyebrow at her with a glint of playfulness in his eyes. </p>
<p>“Shall I find out?” He grinned at her wiggling his fingers and tickling the air near her sides. Emily giggled and stepped out of arm's reach. </p>
<p>“Not now, but maybe someday.” She placed her fascinator back on the shelf and began walking to the front of the store inviting him to follow with her smile. Loki grinned looking forward to that day. Again, he found himself dreading when this moment with her would end. Seeing it was now 2:00 pm, he knew he had an hour until he had to go to the music arena to set up for tonight’s concert. Would Emily come? He jogged to catch up to her. </p>
<p>“Emily, were you planning on coming to the concert tonight?” </p>
<p>“Oh! No, I can’t make it tonight, I am actually tutoring a student at six this evening. A first grader from the school I work at is falling behind on her reading.” </p>
<p>“I understand.” Loki smiled and of course he did understand. However, he couldn’t help but feel slight disappointment. </p>
<p>“You do know you have a concert tomorrow night too, right Loki?” She nudged him as they walked back down the sidewalk. Loki looked at her with hidden hope. “I’ll be at that one for sure.” Loki smiled genuinely at her. It hit him that he had never smiled or laughed so much on an outing with Rebecca. The more he was with Emily, the more he realized that his previous relationship had been weighing him down. </p>
<p>“I look forward to seeing your beautiful face in the crowd.” A thought hit Emily as she and Loki continued to walk. </p>
<p>“So, why did you guys stay another week here? I am very happy you did, but wonder what made the tour change.” Loki secretly thanked the stars that the pipe burst and flooded the stage at their next location. Otherwise he would not be here with Emily. </p>
<p>“There was water damage on the stage and flooding from a few busted pipes. It wasn’t safe to perform I suppose. Apparently Hogun and his family were meant to meet at the plaza hotel at the other location, but they were redirected to the one here.” </p>
<p>“Oh my goodness! Hogun’s baby was so cute!”Emily’s voice came out an octave higher. “Her chubby little cheeks, chubby little legs, oh my gosh I just wanted to take that little one home.” Loki gave a breathy chuckle as he watched Emily grow animated over the child again. “Well, whoever or whatever broke those pipes, I thank them from the bottom of my heart.” </p>
<p>“As do I.” Loki interlaced their hands again as they walked over to a wooden bench. Sitting down, Emily smelled her flowers again and sighed with content. </p>
<p>“So, Loki. What do you like to do when you aren’t touring the country?” Loki pursed his lips in thought. </p>
<p>“I suppose I still enjoy writing music, studying music, and playing my old records. I enjoy a good novel or short story. Either a mystery or detective fiction. I look forward to solving crimes before the detective can.” Loki smiled over at Emily awaiting her thoughts on his interests. </p>
<p>“Sherlock Holmes then? Those are some great detective stories. Did you know that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle killed off Sherlock, but because of popular demands, brought him back?” Loki grinned at her literary and historical knowledge.</p>
<p>“Ah yes, the Great Hiatus. I assume you have read Sherlock Holmes's then yourself? What other literature genres do you enjoy?” </p>
<p>“I have read a few of the short stories, yes. And I enjoy fantasy and fairy tale. I recently finished The Princess Bride, although anything written well I’ll read. Except horror.” She shivered. “I end up shutting my eyes, unable to to continue reading. Not much of an Edgar Poe girl I guess.” Loki nodded, himself not being able to picture Emily being into Gothic or horror fiction. </p>
<p>“Even some of Poe’s works are a little too dark for me.” Emily hummed in agreement.</p>
<p>“Oh, you mentioned records...which ones are your favorite?” Emily asked, intrigued that he too listens to vinyls. </p>
<p>“Probably the ones Mr. Nilsson gave to me before he passed. Ones like Abbey Road by the Beatles, The Concert Sinatra, many others from the 50s, 60s, and 70s.” He watched the excitement dance in Emily’s eyes as he listed his vinyls. </p>
<p>“I have a few from the 60s. They were nana’s...I mean my grandma’s. One of the first ones I remember her playing a lot was Van Morrison - Blowin Your Mind. She used to sing it and play it on our record player. As a five year old, I thought it was cool hearing someone sing about brown eyes like me.” She grinned from the memory of being in the kitchen, standing on a stool and stirring a big bowl of cookie batter in pigtails while she and her grandma would sway and sing. </p>
<p>“Hm. Well, you are <em> my </em> brown eyed girl.” He brought his arm around her shoulders and Emily giggled resting her head on his shoulder. They enjoyed the pleasant silence. “Would you ever consider joining the group for practice? You’d be able then to watch the concert from backstage. You wouldn’t have to of course, but I thought you might like to see or play some of the guitars we have. Fandral has a beautiful Fender Stratocaster guitar. And my Gibson Les Paul electric guitar is a treasure.” Emily’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened comically. She was being invited to play his Gibson Les Paul?! And be backstage with the band as they performed? </p>
<p>“Are-are you saying you’d let me touch your guitar? A-and be with you guys as you practice and perform?” Loki was surprised to hear such disbelief in her voice. They were dating now, why wouldn’t she be invited to do those things. </p>
<p>“Of course, darling. You are my girlfriend now. Any and all practices you are invited to. I understand if this is the only one you are able to attend with being unable to travel being a teacher, but know you are always welcome.” Loki leaned down and kissed the top of her head. </p>
<p>As they walked back towards their cars, Emily detested the idea of letting go of Loki’s hand. She knew it was silly, they’d see each other tomorrow night. Having walked to where they were about to part ways, Emily stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms under his in a tight embrace. Smashing her face in his chest, she mumbled, “Thank you so much for an incredible day and the flowers...and putting up with my anxiety in the beginning.” Loki’s arms around her tightened at those words.</p>
<p>“Emily, I didn’t ‘put up’ with anything. I enjoyed every moment of today. Except maybe when I thought you were breaking up with me...but that was my fault. Something for me to work on. I’ll try not to assume your intentions, darling.” Separating now, she smiled up at him in understanding. </p>
<p>“We both have something to work on. I’ll do my best not to listen to my insecure thoughts. The best part about this though is that we are not alone. We have each other.” Loki grinned as he stepped backwards. Terribly reluctant to turn around. </p>
<p>“And for that I am grateful.” Emily blew a kiss at him as she smiled and hesitantly turned around. As they were now several feet away from each other, Emily quickly turned back and shouted.</p>
<p>“Best of luck tonight! I’ll be thinking of you.” Loki turned around, happy to see her one more time. </p>
<p>“Thank you, my dear. Best of luck teaching the little one how to read.” </p>
<p>“THANK YOU!” Emily turned back around after waving, having to project her voice even more as they separated further from each other. She clutched her bouquet looking forward to getting the beautiful flowers into a vase. </p>
<p>Despite now walking in separate directions, they both carried the other in each other’s heart. Both very much looking forward to tomorrow night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Backstage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily tells Amanda about her new relationship and spends Sunday evening at the music arena with Loki and the band. It's their last time together until the tour is finished and Emily's teaching is done for the year.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! So sorry for longer than usual wait. Although, I have been writing ahead and planning where this story is going. I have so much planned for these two. Anyway, here's the next chapter, enjoy!<br/>And as always, thank you so much for reading and your kudos and comments :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amanda sat cross legged on her sofa with a bowl of Cheetos next to her. She mindlessly scrolled through shows to watch on Netflix while her cat, Mr. Cuddles, rubbed and purred around her ankles demanding attention. As Amanda was reaching in her bowl for another Cheeto, her phone sang with an incoming call. </p>
<p>“What’s up Emmy?” Mr. Cuddles gracefully jumped up into Amanda’s lap, barely missing in knocking the snack bowl off the couch. </p>
<p>“Nanda, I...I have some big news to share with you actually.” Amanda sat up straighter hearing the smile and held back excitement in the soft voice of her best friend. She paused waiting to hear Emily continue. </p>
<p>“Well you have me at the edge of my freakin seat here, spill!” Emily giggled and squeaked in excitement, only intensifying Amanda’s curiosity. </p>
<p>“So, you know how Mark invited me to the Frost City tour celebration? Well, I went thinking I’d stay for a bit and leave, but...I sorta ended up staying until early morning with Loki.” Amanda abruptly stood up and her cat flew off her lap and onto the floor with an aggravated ‘meow.’  </p>
<p>“Wait, wait, wait. Loki? As in, the singer stuck with crocodile girlfriend Loki?” Emily giggled. </p>
<p>“Yes! Amanda… and we kissed.” This time it was Amanda squealing. </p>
<p>“I want EVERY detail Emmy! Was he a good kisser?” Emily laughed. </p>
<p>“Nanda, he is an <em> amazing </em>kisser. He was so gentle and passionate. We had our first date today! We went to the pizza place, you know the one that-”</p>
<p>“Date? So, I’m just going out on a limb here, the crocodile is no longer in the picture?”</p>
<p>“They broke up...and well, we just sort of happened I guess. Amanda, he is so kind and sweet and such a gentleman. On our date today he bought me flowers, we tried on English hats together, and he invited me to go to his concert backstage tomorrow night!” Amanda smiled hearing such genuine joy in Emily’s voice. </p>
<p>“I am so happy for you, girl! I knew I wasn’t off the rocker when I saw you guys hit it off.” Emily laughed. </p>
<p>“I suppose not. He just...I’ve never felt so...ugh, I can’t even put it into words.” Emily sounded blissfully frustrated.</p>
<p>“Sounds like someone’s in love.” Amanda sing-songed. She walked back over and plopped down on her sofa grinning like a fool. </p>
<p>“No! Nanda, not after one date, that’s impossible...right?” </p>
<p>“Emmy, as much as this matchmaker wants to give you advice on feelings of love, that’s something you have to realize or not realize yourself.” She could almost hear Emily pout as she heard her sigh. </p>
<p>“Well. I suppose someday I’ll hopefully understand it. Anyways. How has your week been?”</p>
<p>“Pretty good, actually. I’m loving the job, except for this afternoon. Oh my gosh. There is a new level of stinky feet.” Amanda was serious, but still smiled at hearing Emily’s full laugh on the other end of their call. “No, really Em. My client was scheduled for a pedicure, but she happened to schedule it after a recreational basketball game at the YMCA. I think she was also trying to see how long her toe nails could grow before they fell off.” Emily just continued laughing. </p>
<p>“Oh no! Well, maybe she had a condition where she couldn’t cut her toe nails?” </p>
<p>“Nope. Trust me, I was with this chick for an hour. She told me how she preferred professionals to tend to her feet despite there being no medical reason. Ugh, I just about gagged. I guess this is the one part of my dream I forgot about, people’s personal hygiene habits. But I suppose I can live with a few hobbit clients here and there.” </p>
<p>“Well, I’m proud of you. I’m sure she appreciated your help.” Emily couldn’t hold back her giggles in the end, just imagining her friend with smelly feet in her face. </p>
<p>“Ha ha. Alrighty, I’m gonna start something on Netflix here with Cuddles. You my dear wonderful friend, have an amazing time with Mr. Sexy tomorrow night. Tell him if he does anything to hurt you I will hunt him down.” </p>
<p>“Yes, threatening my boyfriend sounds like a marvelous second date.” Emily giggled. “Don’t worry, he’s been a complete gentleman. Give Mr. Cuddles a kiss between the ears from me. Love you, Nanda.” Amanda leaned down and did just that, emphasizing the smack of her lips so Emily could hear. </p>
<p>“Kiss received here. Love ya too Emmy, bye!” </p>
<p>...............................................</p>
<p>“Ba-bye!”</p>
<p>Emily ended the call, still grinning from that interesting conversation. Crawling into her soft cool sheets, she leaned over and turned off her lamp to get some much needed sleep from the excitement of the day. She pouted in the dark when a thought crossed her mind. Tomorrow would be the last time she’d see Loki for a while. Well, she’d just make the best of it. If tomorrow night was anything like today, she knew it would be wonderful. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p> Emily stood outside the private back entrance of the arena where Loki told her to be at 3:00 pm. She planned to surprise the band with a large pan of homemade banana bread she was now balancing in her hands with her phone. Glancing down at her cell phone, she saw she was three minutes early. </p>
<p><b> <em>2:57 pm. Emily: </em> </b> <em> Hello! I’m here :) </em></p>
<p><b> <em>2:57 pm. Loki: </em> </b> <em> On my way ;) </em></p>
<p>Emily looked up to the sound of the heavy metal door opening and Loki peeking his head out with an excited grin. He was eager to show Emily around the instruments, but more than anything he was just excited to be with her again. As he led her down the hall after greeting each other, his senses were pleasantly filled with the smell of fresh baked goods. He glanced at Emily with a questioning smile. He loved her shy grin and the barely noticeable coloring of her cheeks that greeted him. </p>
<p>“I-I made you and the band some banana bread. It’s my grandma’s recipe, so it’s good, I promise.” Emily couldn’t help but feel shy all of sudden. </p>
<p>“Darling, I’m sure anything you make is delicious, thank you. May I?” Loki offered his hands to take the heavy glass pan out of Emily’s arms. </p>
<p>“Sure! Thank you.” Emily carefully gave him the bread pan and continued following him into one of the large practice rooms. It had a counter with a sink and that is where Loki placed her treat. Emily bit her lip feeling her nerves, now being in a room with the whole band. </p>
<p>“Mmm. What smells like heaven in here?” Volstagg came around the corner rubbing his slightly rounded stomach, making Emily giggle. </p>
<p>“Hey, Emily.” Mark set down some cords he was detangling and walked over to her. He abruptly stopped in his tracks upon also smelling the baked goods. By the time Loki walked over to stand by Emily’s side, Fandral and Sif joined the group. Loki wrapped his arm around Emily’s shoulders, slightly bringing her towards him. Emily chewed her lower lip feeling just a bit uncomfortable with all the eyes on her.</p>
<p>“Everyone, you all remember, Emily. I’d like to reintroduce her now as my lovely girlfriend.” Emily glanced around at the various reactions. Volstagg and Fandral’s jaws dropped slightly in surprise. Mark grinned as if he already knew. Sif smirked in a friendly manner that almost shouted ‘about time.’ </p>
<p>“When did you and Rebecca even break up?” Volstagg asked with enthusiasm. Emily felt Loki stiffen. </p>
<p>“The week before the party.” His tone was to the point and made it clear he wanted the subject dropped. </p>
<p>“What happened, why did you break up?” Fandral asked in genuine curiosity, not recognizing the inappropriateness of the question. Loki grew uncomfortable with the questions that were thrown at him. He didn’t want to talk about his previous relationship. Or remember the absolute shame and heartbreak finding out he was cheated on for so long. He didn’t want anyone to ever know that. How was he going to evade these questions...in front of Emily no less! </p>
<p>“Actually Fandral, if you don’t mind...that information is sorta private just between Loki and Rebecca.” Emily swallowed hard wondering if she did wrong by speaking for Loki. Before she could dwell on it though, she felt his arm leave her shoulders to come down and grasp her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Emily looked up to Loki and saw him barely mouth the words, ‘thank you.’ She squeezed his hand back and lay her head against his arm below his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Of course, forgive me, Loki. I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m happy to see you happy is all.” Fandral finished in a courteous smile. Loki nodded in acknowledgment.</p>
<p>“I have to ask, why does it smell like a bakery in here?” Volstagg questioned, feeling his stomach growl from too light of a lunch. </p>
<p>“Oh! I’m sorry. I...well I made you all some banana bread to wish you good luck tonight. It’s a big pan too, so you can take some with you on the road tomorrow if you want.” Although left unsaid, the group noticed the striking difference between Rebecca’s arrogant rudeness and Emily’s shy kindness.</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize, Em. If this is the stuff Amanda had me try a few years ago, I might have to request a personal pan.” Mark made his way over and uncovered the bread. Quickly followed by Volstagg and everyone else except Loki. </p>
<p>“Is it alright if I have some too, darling?” Loki politely asked. </p>
<p>“Oh of course! I’ll go get you a piece.” Emily brought her hand that was still connected with Loki’s up to her lips and kissed his knuckles before letting go and walking over to do just that. Loki hadn’t meant for Emily to get it for him, but feeling the soft plump kiss on his knuckles distracted him before he could utter a word to her retreating form. He then noticed that this was the first time he had seen Emily in pants. Her fitting tan kapris looked very nice on her and he caught himself staring at her small round bottom. </p>
<p>Emily grabbed a piece that looked not too hard, not too mushy, just perfect. Walking back to him, she noticed he seemed slightly flustered. </p>
<p>“Here you are!” She handed him the piece. “Are you okay?” Loki looked down at her and smiled berating himself for his border line lewd thoughts. </p>
<p>“Perfectly fine, darling.” With that he took a mouthful of the bread. He slowed down his chewing as he felt his taste buds dance in pleasure. The taste and texture were even throughout the whole piece. He didn’t even realize he let out a moan until he opened his eyes and looked down at a blushing giggling Emily.</p>
<p>“Based on your reaction, I’m hopeful that it’s alright?” Emily was quite nervous for Loki to taste her baking. She hoped she could bake for him more in the future...if he liked it of course. Based on the delightful moan she assumed he did. The sound he emitted had flustered her for some reason and she found herself blushing. </p>
<p>“Alright? Emily, this is incredible.” Loki led her over to the couch behind them so they could sit. </p>
<p>“Oh my…” Fandral voiced from across the room. “Can I marry you?” Fandral mumbled teasingly through a mouthful of bread. Emily laughed while shaking her head at Fandral’s ridiculous compliment. Loki however, did not laugh. He narrowed his eyes over at the blonde man and was just about to say something when Sif perceived a word duel. </p>
<p>“Alright boys, settle down. Emily is her own independent woman. So, I say we go through songs 3, 4, and 7. We can work on the harmony in 5 if we have time before the final run through.” Sif said as she wiped her mouth and gave Emily a thumbs up as she walked over to her drums. </p>
<p>“Fine with me Sif. Emily? Can I just have one more?” Volstagg asked with a slight wince as if he were an inconvenience to Emily.</p>
<p>“Oh have as many as you’d like! I can always make more.” Volstagg nodded and grabbed a piece before he made his way over to  the instruments. </p>
<p>“Before I go join them, may I ask how last night went with the little one?” Loki asked as he ran his thumb over the small hand he held. Emily smiled at his thoughtful question. </p>
<p>“It went really well. She was such a sweetheart. Too hard on herself for my liking though. She kept confusing her letters and writing the letters the wrong way. Long story short, I'm pretty certain she's dyslexic. Her parents will get a professional to officially diagnose it, but in the meantime I did my best to reassure and tell her she was doing a good job.” </p>
<p>“You are an amazing woman.” With that he leaned down and kissed her forehead before walking over to his band mates. </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>Loki loved looking out and being able to see Emily sitting on the practice room couch smiling widely at him. Her attentiveness at his performance actually made him a little nervous, but a good nervous that made him want to perform well. </p>
<p>Emily felt like she was getting a personal concert. She bit her lip as Loki directed some of the more romantic lyrics her way with his hand gestures and a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Sure the band would stop, or re-run with a verse, but she found the flawless and somewhat chaotic way they rehearsed to be mesmerizing.</p>
<p>“Okay guys, why don’t we take 15. We’ll set up for the final practice with lights and tech on after break.” Loki announced as he set the microphone back in the stand holder. He walked over to where Emily sat with his guitar still strapped to him. As he sat down next to her, he ducked under the strap and handed his beloved instrument over to her. </p>
<p>Emily squealed in excitement as she reverently grasped the neck and body of the beauty and Loki threw the shoulder strap over her head. Emily’s feet lightly stomped in excitement as she beamed up at him. </p>
<p>“It’s a Gibson Les Paul. A newer one, but like the one Mr. Nilsson first showed me. It’s very precious to me.” Loki’s soft deep voice held shy enthusiasm that Emily couldn’t help but find adorable. </p>
<p>“Well I am very honored you trust me to hold her.” Loki hummed his acknowledgment with a grin. Emily ran her fingers slowly over the fretboard in admiration of the guitar while thinking of the thousands of chords Loki’s long fingers must have played on it.</p>
<p>“You should play something. It’s not connected to the amp now, but it’ll still work.” Loki missed hearing her singing voice. As expected, Emily blushed and shied away at the idea. </p>
<p>“N-no, I...are you sure?” Despite her aversion to making a fool of herself, her fingers itched to pluck the strings and strum some chords.</p>
<p>“Please do.” Loki gave her an encouraging smile. </p>
<p>Emily was aware that Loki was staring at her, but she also now became aware of the rest of the band looking at her as they packed up their instruments. Biting her lip, she brainstormed for a quick song she could also sing too. Thinking of one, she took a deep breath and did her best to ignore the several pairs of eyes on her. </p>
<p>
  <em> I see trees of green </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Red roses too </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I see them bloom </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> For me and you </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And I think to myself </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What a wonderful world </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t lift her head once in fear of losing her confidence, but enjoyed the echo of her voice in the practice room. Loki grinned down at her knowing how big of a deal this was for her to sing in front of not only him, but also his band mates. The song she had picked was simple, but it somehow fit her gentle personality perfectly. The happy little smile she wore while singing made him feel warm inside and her clear melodic voice rang pleasantly throughout the room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> I see skies of blue </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And clouds of white </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The bright blessed day </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The dark sacred night </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> And I think to myself </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What a wonderful world </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Oh Yeah.  </em>
</p>
<p>Emily let the chords fade and was greeted with an applause that made her smile as her cheeks blushed bright pink. Loki leaned over and kissed her forehead.</p>
<p>“Just beautiful, darling.” Loki said with admiration. Emily whispered a thanks with a large bashful grin and wished her face would return to its normal color.</p>
<p>“Emily...you can really sing!” Fandral complimented. </p>
<p>“Loki, would you ever consider her for a duet? It could be a special surprise tonight for the fans, or-”</p>
<p>“NO! No, I mean. Sorry for shouting. I, um. I have terrible stage fright and well, people didn’t pay to hear a school teacher sing.” Although Emily was being purely honest in how she saw herself, it angered Loki that she sold herself short on her natural talent. As much as he loved the idea of having his woman singing up on stage by his side, he didn’t want to make Emily feel uncomfortable. </p>
<p>“Emily, you don’t have to, but as Volstagg said, you’re welcome to be on stage tonight.” Emily felt her stomach drop at the very idea, but also felt honored they thought she was capable and good enough to do so. </p>
<p>“No thank you, Loki...maybe another time.” Loki hid his disappointment very well and gave her an understanding smile. </p>
<p>“Of course, my dear.” </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Sitting on a small black stool backstage, Emily’s heart raced hearing the roar of the crowd as Loki jogged up on the platform. How did he do this? The nerves were getting to her and she wasn't even facing the crowd. She put neon pink foam earplugs in her ears to save her hearing, knowing she’d still hear the band just fine from a mere few feet away. </p>
<p>“Good evening, New Jersey.” Loki’s deep voice rumbled across the arena followed by more screams. “Thank you for coming out here tonight. The band and I wish to give you all our heartfelt apology that we were unable to make it to the scheduled music arena, but due to safety reasons, we are performing here. So thank you for driving the extra hours.” </p>
<p>Emily watched attentively as Loki spoke to the crowd and loved hearing the echo of his velvet voice. As the music started, she couldn't sit any longer and needed to get up and move to the beat. As she swayed her hips and sang along to the music, Loki was into a guitar solo. As he moved his long fingers perfectly with lightning speed, he glanced over at Emily and gave her a wink. Her stomach curled in delight. </p>
<p>As the concert continued, she studied Loki. Remembering the first time she saw him in the black leather jacket he now wore. The way his long raven hair swayed as he moved around the stage. The concentration and passion in his facial expression. She felt blessed to witness such beauty again, only closer! It was different seeing his profile. She realized what elegant bone structure he had. The way the lights danced around on stage and cast shadows emphasized his high cheekbones. </p>
<p>How this beautiful man was interested in her, she didn't think she'd ever understand. He appeared so confident and stoic in the company of others, but she had been able to see his insecure and mischievous sides as well. What happened in his past that made him go off that night at the bar? Based on his reactions, perhaps child abuse trauma? She felt tears come to her eyes at the mere thought of her Loki going through that. Why was she thinking these thoughts? Oh, the melancholy song she supposed directed her thoughts down a solemn road. Tonight would be their last night seeing each other for a while. His tour will continue on, and she still had about a month of teaching left. Would he lose interest in her after the mild long distance separation? She knew she never would. If she allowed her fantasies to flow, she pictured a slightly older Loki with a child holding a mini guitar on his lap as he taught them how to play. The thought quickly vanished when she remembered he had communicated he no longer desired to have kids. Well, they were early in their relationship. Something to talk about much later. But why did Loki end his relationship with Rebecca? Would she be in the wrong to ask about it? What if she made a mistake or did something that made Loki want to leave her? Snapping out of her wandering thoughts was the roar and applause of the crowd. </p>
<p>"Thank you again for coming to be with us tonight. Our last song is fairly new. It's titled, <em> Shadows</em>. Please enjoy and have a great night." </p>
<p>Emily smiled as she remembered stupidly interrupting Rebecca's and Loki’s conversation to defend those unique chords. How nervous she had been but she has never regretted it. <em> Shadows </em> was a very beautiful song and besides, Loki wrote it. As she listened to it now, she closed her eyes and let her mind be swept away in the philosophical lyrics and soul-penetrating chords.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>"Amazing! Absolutely incredible to watch from backstage, thank you for letting me be here. You did so well, I'm so proud of you!" Emily jumped up and wrapped her arms behind his neck. Not even thinking about it, she planted a firm quick kiss on his lips. He was slightly damp from sweat, and his face had a hint of flush from the hot stage lights. </p>
<p>Loki was beaming, inside and out. Her genuine enthusiastic compliments had made him grin and the quick kiss left him hungry for more. As he was leaning down to do just that, he paused at her little worried expression. </p>
<p>"I-I'm sorry. I should have asked for permission before doing that." Loki didn't know how to refute that except for following through. He gently took her face, tilted her chin upwards, and softly planted a few pursed kisses on her lips. When he pulled away, Emily was smiling up at him.</p>
<p>"Never apologize for kissing me, dove. Besides, we are in a private little nook backstage, no one to judge us or embarrass us." Emily gave him a soft smile, but then looked down as her previous questioning thoughts came back. “Emily, what’s on your mind?” Loki softly asked. His heart began thumping heavier as he did his best to hold back his worst case scenario thoughts.</p>
<p>“I...I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to make you sad or uncomfortable, or be too intrusive.” Loki slightly furrowed his brow in confusion and mild worry. </p>
<p>“You may ask, dearheart. Never be afraid to speak your beautiful mind.” Emily smiled, but it quickly faded. </p>
<p>“Why did you...I mean, what was it that made you decide to break up with Rebecca?” Loki looked away and exhaled deeply in defeat. He despised the very idea of letting her know he wasn’t good enough in his last relationship, but knew Emily’s question was valid as his current girlfriend. </p>
<p>“She...she confessed to being unfaithful to me with multiple men in the cities we stayed in across the country. I, I want to find a partner that is exclusively mine in that way. I couldn’t continue to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t find me worthy enough to be her only.” He waited for her judgment. All he saw was Emily’s brows quirk in worry and hurt. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Loki. You didn’t deserve that...no one does. I, I agree. I am with you because I trust you to be faithful to me in our relationship and I hope you know that I will stay faithful to you too and would never ever cheat.” Loki felt like a little load he’d been carrying had rolled off his shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Although he was satisfied that they had this conversation, he decided he didn’t want to spend his last evening for a while with Emily in solemn seriousness.</p>
<p>“You better not!” Loki playfully exclaimed as he snuck his hands down to her waist and began wiggling his fingers to tickle her, making Emily squeal and laugh loudly. </p>
<p>"L-Loki! St-stop!" She was doing her best to wiggle out of his hands, but with the tickling and laughing, it proved impossible. To her relief, he stopped shortly after hearing her half pleads. Grinning from ear to ear, Loki booped her nose making it crinkle in the most adorable way. </p>
<p>“Okay tickle monster, let’s go sit you down and get you a nice cold glass of water.” Emily led him back through the practice room still giggling at his silliness. </p>
<p>“Lokes, we’re gonna finish packing up the main trailer and then head back to the hotel. Do you have the next location entered in your GPS for tomorrow?” Loki really didn’t want to think about leaving Emily, but in a few short minutes it was unfortunately inevitable. </p>
<p>“Yes, I have them. I will see you tomorrow.” Fandral waved and left. It was silent for a bit as Loki and Emily procrastinated saying goodbye. Emily found a dixie cup in one of the counter cupboards. Filling it with water, she brought it to him and he thanked her. They then both plopped themselves down on the couch. </p>
<p>“So how far is the next place you perform at?” </p>
<p>“Eh, maybe ten hours at most. Depends on the traffic I suppose. You have about a month left of teaching for the year then?” They reclined back to get more comfortable and Loki put his arm around her. </p>
<p>“Yep! Bittersweet I guess. I’m going to miss them, but also looking forward to having more time off for my hobbies. I can start painting again. I have a few ideas written down, but I think it’s time they come to life on a canvas.” Loki raised his brows in surprise. </p>
<p>“What sort of things do you paint? And what paints do you use?” He didn’t particularly like painting himself. He preferred sketching with graphite pencils here and there, but that didn’t mean he was ignorant to other art mediums. </p>
<p>“Hmm. It depends really on what I paint. If it’s a landscape or something abstract then I typically prefer watercolor. If it’s a person then definitely acrylic. I get more precise details with acrylic.” </p>
<p>“I’d love to see some of your work someday.” </p>
<p>“Oh! Well, it’s not, it’s not professional or anything, just a hobby really, but I guess you could maybe see them someday.” Loki smiled happy to hear it wasn’t a flat out, no. “Ugh is that the time?” Seeing the wall clock read 10:25 pm, Emily knew she should probably get going. She still had about a half hour drive home and then of course tomorrow was Monday. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately it is.” Loki sighed as he leaned his head down to rest on top of Emily’s. “Are you still comfortable with being with me, even with this...soon to be long distance?” Loki’s voice came out smooth and soft. Emily looked up to him. He admired her big brown eyes gazing up at him like a happy little puppy.</p>
<p>“I am more than comfortable. I know it will be hard, but we can email, text, call, and if Amanda shows me how...we can skype each other!” Loki smiled at her.</p>
<p>“I will have to get Fandral to show me how to skype as well, because I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t see your beautiful brown eyes looking at me for at least a week.” Emily giggled as they reluctantly stood. Making their way to the back entrance, Loki stopped and turned to face Emily. He slowly brought his hand up to tuck a loose curl out of Emily’s face and behind her ear. </p>
<p>“May I have one last kiss goodnight, my fair lady?” Emily grinned.</p>
<p>“Why, that would be absolutely delightful, my handsome prince.” Loki leaned down, but Emily quickly held up her finger indicating for him to wait. Loki stopped and quirked a brow at her. “Can...can you lift me up? I sorta want to kiss you without being on my tip toes, if it’s not much trouble of course.” Loki almost growled in excitement as he bent down and scooped Emily up from the back of her thighs. He chuckled hearing the squeak that she made as he did this. As if it were instinct, she wrapped her legs around his torso tightly, and brought her arms around the back of his neck. “There!” She giggled. “Now I can kiss you without feeling like I’ll fall over.” </p>
<p>“I’d never let you fall, dearheart.” Loki grinned softly as their lips finally met. </p>
<p>This kiss was slightly different for Emily. She was less nervous and more excited. She tightened her legs around him as she felt Loki’s hands squeeze the backs of her thighs. As the kiss went on, Emily felt Loki’s lips become more hungry and move faster. She thought this would intimidate her, but it did the opposite. </p>
<p>Loki for his part, was doing his very best to be a gentleman right now and not grip the sweet little bottom merely inches away from his fingertips. He knew he had to pull away soon. The way she squeezed her legs around his torso and the softness of her breasts smashed against his chest aroused him too quickly for his liking. As the kissing continued, Emily felt Loki’s tongue lick her lower lip. She gasped in surprise and yet again when she felt Loki slip his tongue into her mouth. Without even knowing or allowing, she let out a deep moan. That was it. Loki gently pulled away from her lips. They both were panting extremely heavy, and Emily slowly rested her head on Loki’s shoulder hugging him tightly. </p>
<p>Once Loki caught his breath, he chuckled realizing he had slowly let go of her so she could be lowered to the ground, but to his amusement she clung to him regardless if he supported her. </p>
<p>“Emily darling, I understand you have to get going due to an early morning tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Nope!” Emily giggled. “I have decided to be your personal koala.” Loki laughed as he began walking towards the exit. As they made it outside into the fresh night air, Emily sighed and began to lower her legs. Sliding off Loki, she thought she felt something slightly in the way, but thought maybe he had something hard in his front pocket. She looked at Loki in concern though because he hissed almost like he was in pain. “Loki? Did I hurt you?!” Maybe she hurt his back! What was she thinking asking him to carry her around like a-</p>
<p>“No darling, I am just fine.” Loki smiled and silently said a prayer that she did not notice how aroused she had made him or the fact that she slid down over it. He was very grateful for the dimmed parking lot. He walked her to her vehicle and she hopped in and rolled down the window. </p>
<p>“I will miss you very much. Where should we meet when we’re both done with our responsibilities?” Emily asked with eagerness.</p>
<p>“Either your place or mine. If you want to meet at mine I have an underground pool. It should be warm enough by then to swim. We could have a campfire, play songs around it. I can show you my records, my personal library-”</p>
<p>“You have a library <em> in </em> your home?” For some reason Emily found that to be the neatest thing. And singing around a campfire cuddling up to Loki...decision made. </p>
<p>“Only a small one. I designed it myself though.” His grin was almost shy. </p>
<p>“Oh please can I see it? We can skype on a day that will work, but I love the idea of going to your place then.” Loki was so excited he felt his mind already beginning making plans.  </p>
<p>“Of course! We will work out the details. Drive safe, Emily. I miss you already.” He backed away from the car as she started it. </p>
<p>“And I, you. Best of luck with your remaining concerts!” </p>
<p>“Thank you, and good luck to you, Ms. Fawn!” Emily giggled knowing he meant good luck with teaching. She backed up and stopped to look at him one last time before driving away. She blew a kiss at him and drove off feeling pleasantly tingly throughout her body from their kiss. </p>
<p>Loki stood there as he watched her car become too far away to follow with his eyes. Sighing, he shifted and groaned in frustration. Yep, it would be an uncomfortable ride back to the motel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Until We Meet Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Weeks have gone by as Loki is almost finished with the tour and Emily is almost finished with the school year. Emily finally gets to paint! Her and Loki video chat over skype and enjoy seeing each other's faces. Rebecca does move out of Loki's house, but keeps something that he specifically asked her to leave...uh oh.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone :) </p><p>Hope you enjoy the next chapter.<br/>Thanks again so very much for kudos and comments!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a fast four weeks with the tour’s end gradually coming into sight. Loki sat comfortably propped up on the hotel bed opening up his laptop. A grin spread across his face as he saw Emily’s latest email sitting in his inbox. </p><p>
  <em> Dear Loki, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I miss you too! Just a little longer and we will see each other soon. I am happy to hear that the tour is continuing to go well. I am so proud of you. Think of all the hard work you have accomplished this year and how many people you have inspired with your music. Of course that includes me :) </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Teaching has been going well, thanks for asking. I must share with you, one of my students came to school with a little Frost City t-shirt. I couldn’t help but smile as I thought of you. Yes, it is bittersweet that there are only a few weeks left of the school year. I will miss my students very much, but am proud to say they will all be moving on to kindergarten in the fall. Anyway, enough about me! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> How is Vermont? I heard it’s beautiful up there. I would love to paint some of those landscapes and forests. Maybe you can be my subject and I can get all that beautiful scenery behind you? :)  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I was wondering too, now that we have successfully skyped 3 times, would you like to set up a time next week to do so again? I understand you are busy and have time commitments though, so no pressure. I just miss seeing your handsome face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well, I should get back to folding laundry here. Have a wonderful concert tonight! I’ll be thinking of you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Emily </em>
</p><p>Loki re-read the email again, just imagining her sweet voice being the one to deliver the message. He grinned reading about her wanting to paint him. Seeing he had time before the band had to meet, he quickly typed a reply.</p><p>
  <em> Dear Emily,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A time for skype sounds wonderful. I have also greatly missed seeing your beautiful face. Does Thursday night at 6 pm work for you?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Glad to hear teaching has continued to go well for you. I didn’t realize that our band sold t-shirts for ones so young, but happy it brought a smile to your face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Vermont is quite beautiful. Perhaps we will travel here for a vacation someday.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Thank you for your good luck wishes and thoughts. I carry them in my heart.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yours, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Loki </em>
</p><p>
  <em> -P.S. I would gladly pose for one of your paintings ;) </em>
</p><p>Sending the email, Loki shut his laptop and rolled out of the comfortable bed to meet with his band mates. </p><p> </p><p>.....................................</p><p>Emily finished placing her clothes neatly in her wooden antique dresser when her computer chimed. Smiling widely she rushed over to open the email that just came in. She was touched that he thought of them so far into the future that they’d be able to vacation together. Giggling, she felt a light blush warm her face as she read his little ‘P.S.’ and wondered what on earth he had in mind with that winky face. Biting her lip, she made her way to the kitchenette where her calendar sat on the little island. Yep, she was free Thursday. She quickly texted him confirming that she would be available for the skype chat. </p><p> </p><p>......................................</p><p>Saturday evening bright spot lights danced across the Vermont music arena stage in various colors. Loki lost himself in the music as his muscle memory carried his lithe fingers quickly across the fretboard of his Les Paul electric guitar. Little droplets of sweat dripped down his brow as the hot stage lights focused on his solo. As his last chord echoed across the music hall, he grinned hearing the crowd roar in praise. It always started off slightly intimidating to hear the crowds yell, but half way into the concert his nerves tapered off significantly. He approached the mic stand again, clutching onto it and let his rich velvet voice be carried over the arena. </p><p>* * *</p><p>After the concert, there wasn’t much conversation among the group. It was obvious in the way everyone carried themselves, rest was much needed. </p><p>“Ya know, I think we could take another year or ten off before our next tour.” An exhausted Volstagg announced as he leaned his head back against the wall in a cramped practice room. Sif and Fandral chuckled in agreement. </p><p>“We only have a handful of concerts left, but my feet are dragging.” Mark replied as he walked in joining the conversation. </p><p>“Shut up, Mark. You don’t have to stand or sit under those damn hot lights.” Sif jokingly glared at her boyfriend as she chugged a water bottle. Mark walked up to her ready with a come back. </p><p>“Stand? I’m pretty sure you only sit when you beat on your little drums, honey.” His reply was in harmless jest which Sif was aware of, but she couldn’t resist grabbing her drum stick and whacking Mark on his behind as he smugly walked away.</p><p>“OW!” Mark hollered in a pitch that made everyone laugh. Loki walked in and raised an eyebrow at hearing the ruckus. </p><p>“Hey Lokes, we were kind of thinking, maybe we won’t have another tour until...2030?” Loki chuckled at Fandral's comment and seeing the exhaustion in the room and feeling it himself. </p><p>“Hm. Maybe not that long, but perhaps we could plan in two years instead of next year...I’ll talk to the music PR and see what’s possible.” </p><p> </p><p>....................................</p><p>Sunday night, Emily dipped her sable haired brush in her water cup to pick up more violet color to add to her star filled watercolor painting. This one was much more abstract than her previous one, but the symbolism and meaning behind it made it more sentimental. A soft brown and rainbow colored guitar sat in the foreground while it seemingly melted into a beautiful star filled night background. She created an illusion of light reflecting off the instrument from the bright blue moon that sat in the right hand corner. The night sky and bright moon painted in memory of the gorgeous, although cold, night on the luxurious hotel’s balcony. Loki and her were witness to a magnificent sky with billions of stars that night. The colorful guitar that held a rainbow neck and faded colorful body emphasized the beautiful harmony that she and Loki are able to create. Just like how the different colors seemed to dance and swirl on the thick white paper, their harmony danced and swirled in the sound waves that bounced off walls. As she painted the last stroke across the paper, she smiled at how the colors melted and whirled together...knowing the paint was laced with happy memories of her and Loki.  </p><p>Setting her brushes aside with a satisfied smile, she glanced up at her wall clock to see 8:45 pm. Frost City was well into their concert by now. They had one more location left, Buffalo, New York. As she stood in front of her sink watching the colors run together in browns and grays from the brushes, her phone rang. </p><p>“Hello, this is Emily Fawn.” Her cheery voice answered as she held the phone to her shoulder and wrung out her wet hands. </p><p>“Ms. Fawn, good evening. This is Shannon Statson. I apologize for calling so late.” Emily dried off her hands and laid out her brushes to dry on a paper towel. Hearing the mother of a student she tutored, she assumed that she was calling for another session. </p><p>“Hello Mrs. Statson! No problem at all, what can I do for you?” Setting her painting on her easel to dry, she sat down on her little bar stool in the kitchen with a pad of paper and pen. </p><p>“Actually...I was calling to thank you. I've been meaning to call for quite some time actually. I, I really didn’t know how to help my daughter, and she was so frustrated with herself.” Emily frowned hearing the woman sniff as if to hold back tears. “I didn’t even think of dyslexia, but when you brought it to my attention as a possibility, I immediately contacted an educational psychologist and he diagnosed her with visual dyslexia. I...I just wouldn’t have thought of it and I just thought I was doing something wrong in the way I tried to help her. Thank you so much for helping me get my baby the help she needs.” Emily’s mouth dropped open. </p><p>“I-I am glad to hear that she is receiving the help she needs. She is such a bright and clever girl. Mrs. Statson-”</p><p>“Shannon, please.”</p><p>“Shannon, thank you for your kind words, but it’s the psychologist that actually helped, I just. I just had a hunch based on her symptoms. And please call me Emily too!” </p><p>“Well Emily, I wouldn’t have gone to the psychologist if you hadn’t put the idea in my head. I feel like such a stupid mother...not knowing she…” Emily frowned in worry hearing Shannon’s voice taper off in tears. </p><p>“Shannon, you are a wonderful mother. When I have a daughter someday, I hope she’s as kind as yours. The fact that you reached out to me, a tutor, you were using your resources and being proactive to help her, never doubt that. If you or your family need anything, please let me know.” Emily heard more sniffles. </p><p>“Thank you. Thank you, I needed to hear that. I just want what’s best for my little girl. Thank you again. Have a wonderful night, Emily.”</p><p>“Thank you, you as well, Shannon.” Ending the call, Emily sat there feeling almost numb. She had been right. The girl was only in first grade and with proper help she was now able to get, Emily knew she’d be okay. As she reflected what she had told Shannon on the phone about having a daughter of her own, she wondered again why Loki had once told her that he wanted children in the past tense...as in no longer wants them. The desire to ask him about it continued to grow, to maybe have him clarify...but she was too afraid of the answer.  </p><p>* * *</p><p>Monday afternoon, Emily sat in her classroom rocking chair just finishing strumming her guitar to, ‘Wheels of the Bus’ with nineteen little pairs of eyes on her. After clapping with the children and praising their young voices, a little boy raised his hand high in the air. </p><p>“Yes, Michael?” Emily called on him gently. </p><p>“Ms. Fawn, my daddy says that I will be in kindergarten soon. When do you start teaching us kindergarten?” A few other heads nodded in consensus of the question. Emily smiled sadly, thinking of the softest way she could phrase her answer.</p><p>“Children, do you remember when we read the story about the caterpillar?” They all nodded their little heads, but Micheal frowned thinking that his question was being ignored. “Remember the different stages the caterpillar went through to become a butterfly? Well right now you are all in the caterpillar stage of your learning here at preschool. I won’t be teaching you kindergarten because you will have a new teacher that will help you to continue to learn and grow. Now you won’t grow wings like a butterfly,” a few children laughed, “but kindergarten will be your next stage of learning, my little caterpillars.” Michael pouted in dissapointment, but Emily was amused to see what appeared to be a sudden light bulb go on in his head. </p><p>“So that, that means we are like the caterpillars now, but then when we are in kindergarten, you’ll have new boy and girl caterpillars in here?” Emily smiled widely at the bright child. </p><p>“Yes! Very good Michael. While you will all be in kindergarten across the hall, I will have new students that I will be teaching and preparing them for kindergarten just like I have done with all of you.” </p><p>“Can I still visit you, Ms. Fawn?” The squeaky voice of another of her students asked. Emily smiled.</p><p>“Of course. You all can stop by and say hi and tell me all the wonderful things you have learned.” </p><p>...................................</p><p>That same Monday afternoon a few hours north, the sound of stomping and huffing echoed in Loki’s house as Rebecca stuffed more of her items in a box and heaved them down the large wooden staircase. She had found a little apartment in Queens and picked up her old job in modeling. She was making enough figures to support herself now as she had parted from the band a week and a half ago. She almost cringed thinking how awkward it was when Loki had said farewell again. She had let him know that she planned on packing up her things from his house before he’d be done with the tour.</p><p>As she looked around at the beautiful old white crown molding and elegant glass chandelier, she allowed herself to feel bitter. This luxurious place would no longer be hers. She paced over to the back patio and peered through the glass doors. The empty large underground pool mocked her as she remembered the times she and Loki had skinny dipped and spent lazy afternoons soaking up the sun. It was <em> all </em> in her grasp. The perfect house, the money, the perfect man and his body...all taken away by one stupid mistake. She had gotten too brave with her carelessness. The only thing she had put up with was his obsession with music and the occasional panic attacks Loki had. Although, he was rather clingy in an adorable way after them. Grunting, she frustratingly realized it was all her fault she had to leave this fantasy. Loading the last box in her large rental van, she remembered what Loki had told her to leave before she left. As she clutched the spare house key in her hand and stared at the gorgeous old white home, she couldn’t bear to part with it. </p><p>“Not yet. Besides, if he gets lonely I can always drop by.” Muttering to herself she slipped the key back into her bag and drove away.</p><p> </p><p>....................................</p><p>Thursday night Loki ran a comb through his dark locks as he checked his appearance in the mirror. Glancing at his black wrist watch with a golden rim, he saw it was 5:55 pm. Perfect! Walking over to the hotel bed, he pulled up his laptop and followed the steps Fandral showed him for skype. Selecting Emily, he gave her a video call and anxiously awaited to see her sweet little face pop up on his screen. Unfortunately she didn’t pick up. By 6:10 Loki was thinking Emily forgot...or maybe she was too busy to video chat with him. Sighing in disappointment, he reached up to close his laptop after yet another several minutes. Just as the tips of his fingers touched the silver casing of his laptop, an incoming video call from Emily stopped him. </p><p>"I am so so so sorry, Loki! I thought I'd shower before we chatted, and my stupid wall clock stopped working, so I thought I had plenty of time, but then I looked at my phone after I showered and I saw the time and I-" </p><p>"Emily! Darling, you're fine. No rush here. We can chat until morning if we so desire." Loki chuckled at the cute frazzled face on his screen. Emily's brunette hair appeared almost black in the wavy damp curls on either side of her face. She also appeared to be in pajamas? It was hard to tell. A soft pink satin like material with lace and white small buttons was shown from what he could see. She was framed in with the top of her head to just below her shoulders. </p><p>"Okay, but I still feel bad I made you wait!" She shyly glanced at Loki with a little smirk and bit her lip. Loki desperately wanted to jump through the screen and kiss those lips. </p><p>"You are worth the wait, my dear. Now tell me. What's new in the life of Emily?" He smiled hearing her giggle. </p><p>"Well, besides teaching, I have done some tutoring. Oh! I am re-reading the Great Gatsby. Also, I painted! It's an abstract piece, but it…well, I painted it thinking of us actually." Loki grinned seeing Emily's face tinge pink as she glanced away from the camera. </p><p>"A painting you say? May I be able to see this masterpiece?" Loki asked gently knowing Emily's tendency, whether she was aware of it or not, to shy away from attention on her talents. </p><p>"Oh! N-no it's not a masterpiece, Loki. I mean, it's special to me, but I don't know if anyone else would call it so...but I, I guess I can show you if you want? What's new with you?" </p><p>"Just busy with the tour is all. And of course I want to see your painting, darling." </p><p>"Okay! One second." Loki watched his screen as Emily stood up and walked away. Sure enough, it was a sweet little nightie that happened to be the shortest clothing he'd ever seen on her. The fabric looked so soft and he found himself imagining holding her and feeling the cool silk wrapped around her warm body. Suddenly a tentative Emily sat back down with a thick paper in hand. </p><p>"So, well. Here it is." Emily flipped over the paper to reveal her work. Loki let his mouth open as his eyes danced around the colors and pieces of the painting. He realized that he had been admiring it so long, Emily appeared slightly nervous. </p><p>"Emily...it's breathtaking. The way you managed to capture a realistic guitar, but used multiple colors that swirl together and fade into the sky...it's beautiful." He was happy to see a large smile spread across Emily's face. </p><p>"T-thank you, Loki." </p><p>"And this is about us you said?" </p><p>"Yes! The starry sky is symbolic, or I suppose a representation of the incredible night sky we saw out on the balcony of the hotel when...when we started our relationship. The guitar and colors symbolize our love for music and the harmony we create when we sing...so, yeah." Loki knew it wasn't much longer until he would fall in love with this woman. </p><p> "Amazing, darling. I feel honored to be part of this masterpiece. It is truly incredible. Thank you for sharing it with me. You know, I miss singing with you."</p><p>"I'm happy you like it, Loki. I'll have to show you some of my other work sometime...if you want, that is. I miss singing with you too." </p><p>"I most definitely want to. Perhaps I can come over to your apartment and see them sometime?" </p><p>"Mhm! Oh, Loki...I remember you saying we could meet at your house for our next date? If, if you still want to do that...we will both be done with our duties in about two weeks!" Loki absolutely grinned like it was Christmas morning. </p><p>"Yes, Emily! I haven't forgotten, darling. The Friday after next Friday? I wanted you to know as well, if it doesn't make you too uncomfortable, you are most welcome to stay in my guestroom. That way you could stay the weekend if you so desired." </p><p>"Oh, Loki!" Loki chuckled hearing her squeal. "Of course I feel comfortable with you! If it's not too much trouble I don't think I could think of anything better." </p><p>"Wonderful! I will have the pool filled if the weather permits and set reservations for Friday night." </p><p>"Okay! I'll bring my suit and some snacks for maybe a movie night? Oh! Can I bring my guitar?"</p><p>"Absolutely, darling! I will have mine, as well and I'll show you my other instruments too. We can sing and play guitar all weekend if it makes you happy." Emily giggled. The excited energy bounced back and forth between them like two teenagers planning their first date. Loki was already imagining cuddling up to her with a campfire after a late night swim, perhaps a song or two and-</p><p>"Loki! I wish I could jump through the screen and hug you. I am so very excited! May I please have the address?" </p><p>"Of course, I'll text it to you so you can punch it into Google maps." </p><p>"Wonderful, thank you. You look handsome tonight." Loki grinned. </p><p>"And you look beautiful, darling. And I must say, you look absolutely adorable in your pink nightie." Loki took great pleasure in the fierce blush adorning Emily's face. </p><p>"Oh!" She squeaked out. "Yes, well. Thank you! I was going to go to bed earlier tonight and didn't have to go anywhere in the few hours before bed, so why not put my pj's on?" She tucked a loose wet curl behind her ear as she looked down biting her lip. Loki held in a groan at her adorable sexiness. Her sweet mannerisms were very alluring...and she didn't even know it. </p><p>"Dearheart, there's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable in sleepwear hours before bed. There are days when I adorn mine midday." Emily giggled. </p><p>"I miss you Loki."</p><p>"I miss you Emily." </p><p>"So, the next time I see your handsome face will be in person, then?"</p><p>"I believe so. I'm afraid it will be difficult to find time to video chat, but I enjoy our electronic mail."</p><p>"Yes! Although I prefer handwritten letters, they'd be useless when you are at a new place every week or so." Loki chuckled in agreement. </p><p>"Sweet dreams, my darling." </p><p>"Goodnight, my handsome Rockstar." Loki laughed. </p><p>"Until we meet again." Emily blew a kiss, giggling as Loki acted like he caught it before they ended their chat.</p><p> </p><p>..................................</p><p>That same night in Queens, Rebecca sat at her pathetically small kitchen counter with a glass of red wine. The noisy streets below distracting her from her attempt at relaxation and the view of a moldy run down brick building out her window illuminated by a crooked street lamp convinced her she needed something stronger than wine. After putting on her shimmering sequence dress and applying thick lip gloss, she searched high and low for her favorite perfume. </p><p>“Ugh. Fuck, where is it?!” If it were a simple perfume bought at the mall she wouldn’t be this frantic. However, it was an almost two-thousand dollar bottle of special order limited edition. Cursing again she realized that she must have left that and her comb in one of the small drawers in the hall bathroom at Loki’s. Sighing, she threw the lights off grabbing her designer bag and slammed the door to her apartment as she left for the bar in frustration. </p><p>She hastily climbed into the van that still smelled like french fries from the previous renter. Suddenly, a slow sly smile formed on her face as she patted the spare key in her purse. </p><p>“I suppose that surprise visit might be sooner than I thought.” Adjusting her rear-view mirror, she drove off with a new found confidence remembering exactly when Loki would be home from tour. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Crocodile Returns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emily arrives for her weekend date with Loki after a little over a month apart. But someone else gets there before her...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone!</p>
<p>Thank you so very much for your comments and kudos!!! </p>
<p>This one is angsty...sorry not sorry!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loki fluffed the guest room cream colored pillows for the seemingly hundredth time that day. Arriving early this morning back from tour, his eagerness to see Emily trumped his mild exhaustion. He had made sure sheets were clean and that there were fresh linens and towels in the closet. He parted the shades slightly to let the early evening sun in and watered the bouquet of lilies on the nightstand. Taking a peak at his wrist watch, he was delighted to see he had enough time to shower and get ready for Emily’s arrival. He planned to make this a very special evening with a romantic dinner and perhaps a swim like they had talked about. The hired groundskeeper had just filled the underground backyard pool.  It was supposed to be in the upper 70s yet this evening, so it was not unreasonable to tentatively plan a swim. He got firewood, chocolate, gram crackers, and marshmallows too for s’mores. He envisioned himself and Emily sitting around the cozy warm fire singing and playing their guitars. When Emily had asked if she could bring her guitar he was ecstatic. Loki couldn’t wait to hear her angelic voice and their tuneful harmony again. </p>
<p>Grinning to himself like a lovesick boy, he made his way to the hall bathroom. This bathroom had the most updated shower and he preferred it to the one connected to his bedroom. Locking the door, he began undressing. </p>
<p>Unbeknownst to Loki, Rebecca had pulled into his driveway and now used his spare key that he had given her months ago to strut right into his house. After calling out his name several times, she disappointingly assumed he wasn’t home. Since their break up, Rebecca grew in bitterness that left her with a cold heart. She admitted to being prideful and determined in the past, but having to support herself now and leave this gorgeous house and man left her extremely resentful. Night after night in a shit apartment and having to either rent a stupid van or walk everywhere in stilettos only made her crave desperately for the luxuries that slipped through her fingers. Walking towards the bathroom now, she stopped as she heard the distinct sound of pouring water from the shower.</p>
<p>She tiptoed over to the bathroom door avoiding the clicking of her heels. Loki's soft baritone hums and muffled singing with the constant rain of water from the shower filled her ear as she pressed it against the door.  Lecherously smiling, she imagined all the times she had seen his gorgeous pale body glisten with hot steaming water dripping down his toned abs. Holding back a moan she brought her hand to the brass handle curling her fingers around it slowly. Just to see him like that one more time filled her with dangerous excitement. Not only could she retrieve her stuff that she was pretty sure was in there, but she could also give Loki a little surprise visit. Rebecca assumed he was lonely and therefore, must be in need of some...<em>company</em>. She began turning the knob only to silently curse as she found it to be locked. She rolled her eyes and sighed knowing that locking the door was from one of his annoying habits he picked up on as a child. </p>
<p>Just outside the house, a happy little Emily carried her guitar case towards the porch steps, walking the winding sidewalk to the grand front door. She had furrowed her brows in confusion when she first saw a rusty old van in his large wrap around driveway, but then assumed it belonged to the groundskeeper Loki had mentioned. She left her carry-on bag in her car for now. She remembered to pack her suit and was delighted to feel the beaming evening sun be just warm enough for a swim. Her mouth dropped open slightly in awe of the white stone front of Loki’s home. Crisp framed large and tall windows made her wonder if his place was more of a mini mansion than a house. Chewing on her lower lip and clutching her guitar case, she gave a few solid knocks to the grand door with the decorative window panes. She had actually arrived early, fearing she’d get lost on her way through the busy intersections and traffic. Almost taking several wrong turns due to detours made her glad she did leave earlier. She hoped a half hour before their set time wouldn’t be too terribly inconvenient for him. However, the excitement that flowed in her veins morphed into cold dread when the door finally opened. </p>
<p>Rebecca, hearing soft thuds of someone knocking, had curiously walked down the staircase and to the foyer. Grasping the handle, she had opened the front door.</p>
<p>She now towered over Emily with a furious aghast expression. Neither woman expected to see the other upon opening the door to Loki’s home. Rebecca cleared her throat and her surprised face contorted into a malicious fake smile. What the hell was the teacher doing here? The little slut must have weaseled her way into Loki’s heart when she left. On the inside Rebecca burned with jealousy from these thoughts...but she’d rather die than admit it. </p>
<p>Emily swallowed dryly, and stumbled to find her words. “W-what are you doing here? I thought. Um. May I see Loki?” She did not like the smile that hovered over her. Emily thought Rebecca’s smile could compete with that of a snake. Didn’t help that the already tall Rebecca was standing on the stone step in the doorway, elevating her yet another several inches.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry but he’s a little busy at the moment.” Rebecca continued to smirk down at her. Emily furrowed her brow thinking that was odd since he should be expecting her within a half hour. Why was Rebecca here? Emily was perplexed why Loki would even invite her into his house again. Surely she didn’t still live here…?</p>
<p>“Um. Okay. I can wait I guess. W-what is he doing?”</p>
<p>“Loki? Oh, he’s actually naked right now. It’s getting quite steamy upstairs.” Emily’s eyes widened and her stomach twisted not liking how that was phrased. </p>
<p>“I thought, um. Well, I was under the impression that you and Loki stopped seeing each other a while ago...and you didn’t live here anymore?” Emily’s heartbeat quickened as she barely kept her thoughts from jumping to conclusions. He promised his faithfulness to her. She saw the sincerity in his eyes, but it was very contradicting to see his ex at his door telling her that Loki was naked. Rebecca peered down at her in disgust and anger. </p>
<p>“Were you? Well little girl, Loki is in the shower now. Showering together has always been one of his and mine’s favorite activities. In fact, I had planned on joining him.” Her tone was light and overly sweet. It did not match her malicious expression at all to Emily, which was both confusing and terrifying. </p>
<p>“W-what, why?” Join him in the shower?! Emily’s mind flooded in thought. Why would Loki let Rebecca back in his home much less shower if they were actually no longer together? Was she lying? Did they get back together...or were they never broken up? No, this is a misunderstanding. Loki wouldn’t-</p>
<p>“Do you really not understand what that means? Or are you as stupid as your snot nosed kids to understand what activities adults do with each other when they’re naked.” Emily opened her mouth to say something, but was swiftly interrupted from doing so. “Aw. Brought your guitar too? What was this supposed to be, another little music lesson? You do know that Loki will get bored of you soon, right? He likes women with curves to snuggle up to and hold. What’s there to hold on you, sweetheart?” </p>
<p>Emily’s eyes began to burn with tears of humiliation and anger. She felt so stupid and for some reason also felt sick to her stomach. She was beginning to fall for Loki, thinking that he could potentially love her some day. Biting her lip hard, she felt the warm tears sting, certain if she were to blink they’d fall. Nevertheless, she continued to stare into Rebecca’s own sharp blue eyes. </p>
<p>“Y-your lying. He...he wouldn’t do that. He said...he’d never…” Emily swallowed a lump, holding back the several tears that threatened to fall. “Just let me in a-and I’ll talk with him and-” As Emily tried to duck under Rebecca’s arm that was barricading the open door, Rebecca stepped in front of her, blocking her attempt to enter Loki’s house. </p>
<p>“It’s rude to enter someone’s house without an invitation inside.” Rebecca mockingly scolded. “Well, I’m going to go upstairs now to...you know. Were you planning on staying to watch?” She let out a humorless laugh of pity. “Did you really think he cared about you? Or that he enjoyed listening to you drone on and on about your-” </p>
<p>“Okay!” Emily squeaked out doing her best to muffle a sob and not wanting to hear another jab to her heart. Her knuckles were now white clutching her guitar case handle too tightly. “I understand. I am a stupid woman. Stupid for trusting Loki and believing that he actually…” Nope, couldn’t finish that sentence without bursting into tears. “I would never betray someone like that... And I certainly would never speak to another human being like a piece of trash as you have just done to me. You two deserve each other.” Rebecca clenched her jaw as she silently simmered with anger and satisfaction as she watched the other woman run to her car and drive away. Emily held back her sobs until she got in her vehicle. Wiping her eyes several times to see the road clearly, she continued to drive back to her apartment with a deep heaviness of confusion and hurt in her heart. </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>Whistling, Loki dried off and wrapped a fluffy dark green towel around his hips. He walked with a bounce to his step and a smile on his face, ever so looking forward to seeing Emily in a mere ten minutes. He ran hair gel through his raven locks and opened the bathroom door letting himself and the steam from his hot shower out. He had just rounded the corner still whistling when he stopped dead in his tracks peering into his bedroom. </p>
<p>“What the hell are you doing here?” His voice rumbled deep and serious. The blonde leaning against his bed post smiled seductively and began to walk towards him, stopping just a few feet in front of him. Loki was too stunned at the moment to remember he was only clad in a loose towel that hugged low on his hips. Rebecca licked her lips as she eyed his perfect lithe sculpted muscles. </p>
<p>“I forgot a few things and thought I’d drop to pick them up and say, hi.” Her voice conveyed that her reason was the most obvious thing in the world. Loki narrowed his eyes at her. A sick feeling in his gut rolled around. How was he with this woman for so long? </p>
<p>“And what things would that be?” Loki now remembered he was naked. Glancing around his room quickly, he saw his robe laying across the bed. He mentally cursed as he knew he’d have to go around Rebecca if he wanted to get it. </p>
<p>“My comb for starters.” Loki let his jaw fall open. </p>
<p>“A comb?! Rebecca, those are very easy to come by at any store.” Loki was more than frustrated. Emily was going to be here any minute now. This was not good. Rebecca laughed.</p>
<p>“Not just a comb, sweetheart. Also my limited edition Joy Baccarat Pure Parfum. It should be in the drawer next to my comb. I tried to get it earlier, but you had locked the door.” Loki’s eyes widened significantly. </p>
<p>“You tried to come in while I was showering?” Although his voice was heavy with disbelief, he knew deep down that was something she’d try. For once his overthinking habits from childhood proved useful.  </p>
<p>“Of course I did. You think I’d miss out on” She stepped forward right in front of him. “A free moment to see you in all your...<em>glory </em>?” Rebecca had swiftly reached down and deliberately ran her fingers over his covered groin. Loki swatted her hand away and stepped back with a burning fury.</p>
<p>“You do that again and I will report you for sexual harassment.” His voice was cold and dark. </p>
<p>“You can’t do that! I am a woman.” Rebecca had the gull to appear horrified. </p>
<p>“So? I don’t care if you're a tree Rebecca. If you fucking touch me again, I’m reporting you. I have lost all matters of respect for you. Get out of my house. Now.” </p>
<p>“Well look at that. The kitten finally grew some claws. Too bad they didn’t come out at a more fun time.” Rebecca’s eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. “What are you gonna do without me? Go to that dumb fuck teacher?” Rebecca had at least the wits to step back as she saw an unfamiliar murderous glare in her ex’s usual soft insecure eyes. </p>
<p>“Don’t you EVER speak about Emily like that again!” He growled out as he felt a protective surge of anger fill him from head to toe. Rebecca now realized that the Loki in front of her was no longer one she could manipulate. Fine then. She’d leave him for good, but not without her pride.</p>
<p>“Oh don’t worry. I’m grabbing my stuff and I’m leaving.” With that she strutted into the bathroom, grabbed her $ 1,800 perfume and comb and headed down the large curved staircase. In that time Loki had run over to his bed and carelessly threw his black silk robe around him. Walking back out he gazed down the balcony making sure she did get the hell out. Then he remembered something. </p>
<p>“Leave my spare key.” Rebecca stopped in her tracks towards the door. “I thought I had said to leave it on the kitchen table when you left. I know you still have it. That’s how you let yourself in. No more. Unless you want lawyers and authorities involved.” Sighing quite loudly she dug in her black Valentino purse and slammed the key on a side table near his grand entrance. </p>
<p>“There.” A cruel knowing smirk crossed her face. “By the way, I don’t think you’ll be having company today...or any day for that matter.” Loki frowned in confusion. </p>
<p>“A little mouse came by while you were upstairs, but she fell into my trap. Don’t worry...” She gave Loki her most self satisfied glare. “I got rid of <em> it</em>.” If Loki thought he was angry before, in a blind rage he practically flew down the steps. Rebecca actually feared him at that moment for the first time in knowing him and ran out the front door towards her car. </p>
<p>“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!” Loki stood on his porch with his heart pounding. She had already been here?! If she hurt his Emily…</p>
<p>“I haven’t laid a single hand on that bitch. But she did find it interesting when I told her you were showering.” As Rebecca climbed into her rented car, she rolled down the window feeling safe and secure now to deliver the final blow as she put her car in reverse. “Oh. I may have mentioned I would be joining you shortly too.” She heard Loki growl. Part of her actually became aroused from the rough manly sound, but the sensible part of her knew if she were to approach him now he’d likely tear her head off. With that, her tires squeaked as she sped away for good. </p>
<p>Loki felt tears sting his eyes as he let himself slump to the pavement of his porch. His thoughts ran wild along with the rapid pace of his heart. Emily must think I am the lowest scum on the planet, he thought. Such a beautiful evening he had planned. He had reservations at his favorite restaurant, he couldn’t wait to see her face when he opened the door to his private library. He was looking forward to hearing her angelic voice, holding her soft little hand, and...none of it mattered anymore. </p>
<p>Loki didn’t even bother wiping the tears off his face. </p>
<p>He should be used to it by now. Any good thing in his life...in the end, it always slipped through his fingers.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. An Unexpected Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Loki and Emily are both suffering from heart aches. Loki gets a phone call.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short one today! Promise there's more coming...I'm working on it now! </p>
<p>WARNINGS: Bullying comments</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A little bundle of blankets and Emily lay crumpled on the turquoise couch surrounded by dozens of scrunched up tissues. She didn't even bother going to bed. By the time she got home last night, she had curled up on the couch with exhaustion. Opening her stiff eyelids and sniffing through a congested nose, she sat up and exhaled loudly. Glancing over to the front door, she saw her overnight bag with her swimming suit sticking out. Her lower lip wobbled seeing this and thinking of what the weekend was supposed to be like with Loki. </p>
<p>Why? Why was Rebecca there? Part of her still held on to the dwindling hope that it was just a huge misunderstanding. Logically, something didn't add up to her. She felt it in her gut, but the cruel things that woman said to her, hitting at her most insecure spots...she didn't know what to believe. </p>
<p>Sighing, Emily zombie-like made her way towards her bathroom, wincing at herself when she did look in the mirror. No wonder her eyelids felt stiff. They were swollen! Her cheeks were red and her hair wasn't even fit to be a birds nest. Emptying her pockets before throwing her clothes in the laundry basket, she saw her phone had notifications of three missed calls and one voice mail. She frowned as her suspicions were confirmed that they'd all been from Loki. Emily pursed her lips debating if she should listen to his voicemail. As she was deciding, her eyes widened in alarm at seeing another incoming call from Loki! Panicking, she turned her phone over and let it buzz on the counter until it stopped vibrating. She needed time. </p>
<p>.....................................</p>
<p>Loki heard the beep to leave a message. He didn't even know if Emily had listened to his previous voicemail. He cleared his dry throat to speak. </p>
<p>“Emily...I…” Loki’s broken voice lost the courage to continue on. He ended his pathetic voicemail and threw his phone harshly against the mattress. He wiped his damp lashes and cleared his throat again to attempt to hold back his emotions. He barely slept last night. He first debated driving down to see her, but if she wasn’t answering her phone, she wasn’t going to let him into her apartment building. He called at around seven last night. Again at ten. He left a voicemail at ten. As pathetic as it felt, he let himself be vulnerable hoping with all he had she’d hear the sincerity and truth in his voice. He called again early this morning, and just now...nothing. Shakily sighing, he groaned and rolled over onto his stomach. The sick feeling in his stomach that kept him awake most the night still hadn’t left him. </p>
<p>He knew Rebecca was capable of cruelty with her words...sometimes actions. But intentionally sabotaging his relationship with Emily, that was a new low. Would Emily ever trust him again? Would she even give him the chance to speak with her about this? Surely she wouldn’t drop all communication without saying goodbye, right? Groaning again, he lifted his forehead off the pillow and repeatedly let it fall against the soft plushness, wishing it was harder. Perhaps a headache would distract him from this heartache.</p>
<p>.....................................</p>
<p>Walking down the short hallway to her bedroom in a fluffy white bathrobe and damp hair, Emily fidgeted with her phone that rested in the robe's soft pocket. She had never felt so internally divided before. Her mind and heart were fighting a civil war that drained her spirit. Her mind told her to listen to the voicemail and to logically approach this situation. Her heart however, despised the idea of risking another crack in its fragile state. For all she knew it was a voicemail of Loki saying he’s sorry, but he fell back in love with Rebecca. Or...could she hope that it was him telling her it was just a crazy misunderstanding? Letting her robe fall unceremoniously off her body, she stared at her naked form in the door closet mirror. </p>
<p>
  <em>  He likes women with curves to snuggle up to and hold. What’s there to hold on you, sweetheart? </em>
</p>
<p><em> Did you really think he cared about you?  </em>Suddenly it was no longer just Rebecca’s voice that haunted her mind. </p>
<p>
  <em> Hey shrimp, go back to elementary school where you belong.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Did you see what she’s wearing? Yeah, who wears dresses like that anymore? She’s such a freak.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Ms. Anorexic, go fuck yourself!  </em>
</p>
<p>Squeezing her eyes tightly shut and shaking her head to rid the awful comments in her past, she quickly grabbed the first clothing item in sight to dress. Donning a jean dress falling past her knees and one of her grandma’s flowered button up sweaters, Emily left her apartment to get some much needed fresh air. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Walking through one of the city’s parks, she allowed a small smile to grace her face seeing a family on a picnic. The mother was buttering a sandwich and laughing with her husband while two little ones chased each other squealing in laughter. Would she ever get that? Finding a quieter spot under a tree, Emily sat down with a sigh. Gazing upwards, she watched the clouds tinted grey slowly crawl across the sky. A cool breeze blew at her face making goosebumps appear. Frowning, she opened her weather app to make sure it wasn’t supposed to rain anytime soon. No, the rain was coming later tonight. As she was about to turn off her screen, her finger bumped her gallery app. Immediately, the picture of her and Loki in their fascinator hats popped up. Her breath caught and eyes widened at the unexpected punch in the gut the image brought her. Staring at the image of Loki, she sadly admired the tender smirk and playful green eyes. A giggle escaped her as she remembered that silly fun moment. Looking at her face in the picture, her heart ached. The genuine happiness in her eyes and beaming smile seemed to mock her. Emily bit her lip and shut her screen off, knowing if she were to continue to reminisce, she’d eventually start crying again. She forced her mind to think about anything else. Humming and leaning her head against the bark of the tree, she watched the clouds creep by and morph into different shapes.</p>
<p>....................................</p>
<p>Dripping in sweat, Loki slowed his run into a jog as he made it back to his driveway. He knew it would be an unhealthy choice to dwell inside with his cruel thoughts. Panting to catch his breath, he braced his hands on his knees to heave in as much air as he could. Suddenly, he heard the soft music of violins and scrambled to grab his phone out of his running shorts. He frowned in disappointment and confusion seeing the caller ID read, Unknown. The only reason he answered of course was his hope it was somehow Emily. </p>
<p>“Hel-hello?” Loki huffed out after his six mile run. </p>
<p>“Loki?” Loki felt as if a bucket of ice was poured over his flesh. In shock his breathing had stopped, but due to his body’s great need of oxygen he began gasping unevenly as his chest rapidly rose and fell in panic. </p>
<p>“Loki, what’s wrong...why are you breathing like that?” Hearing that voice again brought a slew of unwanted memories to the front of his mind. Ones he had buried deep to be long forgotten. He worked his jaw open and shut again, starting and failing to utter a single word. Eventually he found himself able to speak. </p>
<p>“...Thor?” </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Trip Down Memory Lane</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Loki sees Thor and Frigga after many years.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone, </p><p>Thank you again for reading and for the comments and kudos!<br/>This one is a little emotional I think. I teared up writing some of it. </p><p>WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, depression, and post traumatic stress.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Loki took several deep breaths to calm himself. How did Thor even get his number?</p><p>“Brother? Are you okay?” Thor’s concerned voice loudly asked. </p><p>“Why have you called me...how did you even get this number?” Loki’s voice gained control as his breathing normalized. His voice coming out slightly colder than he wanted it to. </p><p>“...I’m assuming it’s the same one since you’ve moved to Brooklyn. It’s listed as an emergency contact for our mother.” Thor’s voice had sobered and quieted down at the last admission. Loki felt his heart crawl up his throat. </p><p>“What happened, is she alright?” Despite not seeing his family in years, he would never wish harm upon any of them...well, one perhaps. Although he would never consider Odin family in the first place. </p><p>“...The doctors say she had a small stroke. I forget what they called it, some fancy medical word. Not a bad stroke, but...they say there’s a possibility it could lead to another one someday. I was visiting when it happened. Mother was in the kitchen and all of a sudden she fell. Her talking was slow and she couldn't move certain parts of her body. I called 911 and an ambulance took her to the hospital.” Loki clenched the fingers that were not holding his phone into a white knuckled fist. </p><p>“And...how is she now?” </p><p>“She’s resting. The nurse just came in and checked her. They’re going to keep her overnight though due to family history stuff and new medications I guess.” Loki absorbed the information grimacing as he imagined the woman, he used to call mother, laying in a hospital bed. It was silent for a few seconds. </p><p>“I see...Well I’m glad she is recovering and you are there to take care of her.” </p><p>“That’s the thing Loki...I no longer can be with her. At least not for a week starting tomorrow. I need to watch my daughter and the dog because Jane leaves for a business trip. Our usual sitters are unavailable, and well. Mother usually watches Cynthia, but this is obviously why we are in this situation in the first place.” Loki gaped at hearing the words that hurriedly flew out of Thor’s mouth. He had a family now?!</p><p>“You’re married? Since when is the ‘I’m never settling down’ oaf, have a wife and kid?” Thor laughed a little at Loki’s teasing jab. It was true, years ago he enjoyed playing the field of women. But people grow up...they change, and so when he met Jane, he knew his life would never be the same. </p><p>“I am! Jane is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. Our daughter will be turning four in three months.” Loki couldn’t help but smirk in good nature at hearing the genuine joy of fatherhood in Thor’s voice. Apparently people really could change. </p><p>“That’s wonderful, Thor. I’m happy for you...really.” Loki’s voice sounded soft now. </p><p>“Thank you! And you? Any girlfriend or wife for my little brother?” </p><p>“I don’t think that’s any of your business now is it?” Loki unintentionally snapped. </p><p>"...Forgive me, brother. I just don't know anything about you these days. Except what I hear of your band, Loki, you have become a stranger to me." Thor's voice held a solmn truth that Loki didn't want to acknowledge. </p><p>"Do you really blame me for leaving, Thor?" Loki didn't care that his voice edged on bitterness. Six years ago he was happy to finally escape and leave the confines of an ignorant and arrogant brother and a self isolating mother. Even living alone didn't feel that much different than when he lived at home. </p><p>"...No. You had your reasons. We dealt with what happened in the past differently, I stuffed myself in friends and sports to forget. Mother just...she shrunk into herself more. Probably felt like a failure. And you? You shoved yourself in music and books. When father left-"</p><p>"Thor. I am not having this conversation right now." </p><p>"Sorry. It's just so good to hear your voice, brother!"</p><p>"Funny since you're the one who’s doing all the talking." Loki sighed. "It's good to hear you too, Thor. I am free tomorrow and will drive to the hospital in the morning."</p><p>"Of course. I am not sure if you are aware, but mother moved to Auburn. It's a town in Cayuga County. About five hours shy of Brooklyn, which I assume you're still in." </p><p>"I am. Cayuga County, that's sort of by Rochester part of New York?" </p><p>"Yes. It is just east of Rochester. Mother's at Auburn Community Hospital. If you're here by ten tomorrow that would be great."</p><p>"I'll be there by nine." </p><p>"Thank you, Loki. Take care."</p><p>"...you too." Loki stood like a statue in his front yard absorbing the information from his long lost brother. Having been distant from him for so long, there had been a slew of things he'd missed. Apparently a wedding and the birth of his niece? His mother had moved out of the tiny apartment and is now apparently at risk for another stroke. Running a hand through his sweaty hair, Loki walked into his house to cool off and gulp down some ice water. </p><p>...........................................</p><p>Emily gazed out her apartment window watching the streaks of rain quickly glide down the glass. The thick rain clouds covering any glimpse of sunlight gave the inside of her apartment a gloomy grey blue tone. </p><p>
  <em> She wore blue velvet </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But in my heart there'll always be </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Precious and warm a memory, through the years </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I still can see blue velvet through my tears </em>
</p><p>Emily sighed deeply as her record player played a melancholy slow song of lost love. It was cheesy and ridiculous...and would only make her cry in the end, but she didn't have the energy to care to change it. This upcoming Monday, Emily planned to tutor  a second grade student. At least she had that to look forward to. </p><p>............................................</p><p>Yawning, Loki walked towards the entrance of the Auburn Community Hospital on Sunday morning. He had been up since quarter to four. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was 5 minutes to nine. Perfect timing. </p><p>His heart thudded heavy in his chest as he waited in the inside entrance of the hospital for Thor. He spent most of his time waiting by pacing back and forth and drumming his fingers nervously against his thigh. His breath caught as he saw a familiar blonde exit the hospital elevator. A tiny part of Loki wanted to swiftly turn around and beeline for the exit. Knowing he was here for Frigga, for his mother, that is what kept his feet firmly planted in place and directly in line with Thor’s eye sight.</p><p>“Loki!” Thor picked up his pace into a hurried jog, making Loki’s eyebrows crease in concern that Thor may accidentally knock him to the ground. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to move or say anything in return. </p><p>“Oomph!” That was all Loki could utter as he felt his bulky brother’s bone crushing hug. Even if Loki wanted to return the gesture, he was prevented from doing so with his arms pinned at his sides. Finally, Thor loosened his hold and stepped back with a grin on his face. Loki noticed the slight difference years could change someone’s appearance. Thor was now in his thirties and had tiny wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He was broader for sure, and his golden hair was fuzzy and slightly unkempt thrown into a low bun. The barely there shadow under his tired blue eyes showed he’d been most likely losing sleep over the incident with their mother. </p><p>“How, how are you, Loki? I can’t believe you’re here. How was your drive?” Loki could tell Thor was nervous just like he was. Except, Thor’s mouth ran silly when he was anxious while his own mouth tended to clamp shut. </p><p>“I’m well, Thor. Drive was long, but I’m here now. And you?” Loki quietly responded. </p><p>“Exhausted, actually. Being with mother, driving an hour home to let the dog out, taking care of Cynthia, coming back to the hospital...I mean it’s all necessary and good things, but it’s a lot too.” Loki didn’t even need to be told Thor was exhausted. His voice was laced heavily with it. </p><p>“I understand. So…”  Loki left his words to trail off as he glanced at the elevator his brother had just exited. Thor caught the subtle message. </p><p>“Of course, follow me.” With that, Thor led them to the elevator to see their mother. </p><p>Loki exited the elevator and followed Thor to the hospital wing Frigga was staying in. As they both walked into the private hospital room, Loki almost gasped at what he saw. His mother was sleeping covered in white hospital sheets with wires and tubes poking around her body. Her pale face had aged more so than he thought possible in a mere six years. The light brown shimmering locks he was used to had subtle streaks of grey now. Oxygen tubing was in her nose and coiled up around her head. His nose wrinkled as the waft of sterile and disinfectant odor overwhelmed his senses. An IV was inserted into her hand and the tube that fed his mother’s veins ran all the way up to a bag on a metal pole. An almost vibrating hum had him frown and look over his mother to see where it was coming from. He relaxed seeing it was just her automatic blood pressure cuff. </p><p>Thor leaned over and whispered into his ear. “If it’s alright with you, I’m going to head out. I spoke with mother earlier this morning. I don’t want to wake her now since she is resting. Are you good to stay here?” Loki nodded and quietly walked over to the blue patterned chair next to Frigga’s bedside. Thor left. It was now just the two of them. </p><p>Loki leaned back in his seat and couldn’t keep his eyes off the woman who raised him. So many thoughts flew through his mind. He rested his elbow on the arm rest as his thumb rested under his chin and index finger upon his temple. As the memories began flooding back, the middle finger that rested against his lips was bit for a useless distraction. </p><p>
  <em> Ten year old Loki frowned as he shoved his clothes in a large suitcase. He carefully folded his song lyrics and placed them between the piles of clothes. He left the latest one out though to show Frigga. Grabbing his stuffed bear from his bed, he shoved it in on top of the clothes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Mother, are we really moving to America? What about grandmother Susan? Is she coming too?” Loki asked Frigga as he had dutifully zipped up his bag and wheeled it into the foyer where his mother sat at a table and was frantically reading through and triple checking passports and paperwork needed to officiate the transition to another country. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes. Tomorrow we leave. No, my mother isn’t coming with us.” Not even glancing up at her son, she spat out an answer and continued finishing the details in the paperwork. Loki frowned again hearing this news.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But, we never get to see grandmother. Now we’re moving too far away! We’ll never see her again.” His young voice almost coming out in a whine, trying to make his adoptive mother see his point. Instead, it just seemed to irritate her. She exhaled harshly.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Loki, I don’t have time for this. Go play with Thor.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I can’t. He’s with his stupid friends and won’t let me come. He says I’m too little.” Loki crossed his arms and pouted. Frigga released another annoyed sigh. It was silent for a while as Loki stood in front of Frigga who diligently worked on the important papers.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Mother? May I show you a song I wrote yesterday?” Loki shyly and hesitantly asked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Later, baby.” Loki frowned.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You said that last time too!” Loki jumped back when Frigga suddenly stood and walked towards him. Frigga had never hit him before, but young Loki was still nervous as she led him back to his room by the hand. Although not often led by the hand, Loki was led to his room by Odin plenty of times.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Loki, I need you to be a big boy for me. No complaining and no whining. I will listen to your songs when we are in America.” Loki gazed down at the wooden floor boards. He felt bad for making his mother disappointed in him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why are we moving so far away. Don’t you like home?” His voice was barely above a whisper. Loki, a young child, didn’t understand depression or post traumatic stress. So it didn’t make sense why Frigga suddenly snapped. For her of course it was from her own demons of having had an abusive husband who’s lurking whereabouts were unknown.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Dammit, Loki! Stop questioning everything. Just...behave! Do you want your father to come back here? Huh?” Loki paled. “Just stop asking questions. We’re moving to America and that’s final.” Harshly closing the door, a teary eyed child sniffled as he promised himself he’d try harder to be good.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Seventeen year old Loki ran up the apartment steps to the fifth floor. He had finished a day’s work and had been at the music store with Mr. Nilsson until dark learning new techniques with some electric guitars. Unlocking and walking through the apartment, he called out to see if anyone was home. Sighing, and thinking he was alone again, he opened the fridge to find something to eat.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Damn.” There were slices of cheese, a bottle of ketchup, and an almost empty gallon of milk. He really needed to go grocery shopping again. It’d be wonderful if Frigga would go, but heaven knows that won’t happen. A sound alerted him to something or someone in the apartment. Cautiously walking towards Frigga’s room, he pushed open the creaky thin door. He deeply frowned at seeing his mother still in her pajamas and curled up facing the wall. He walked to the other side of the bed to see if she was sleeping, but was disturbed to find her blankly staring at the wall.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “M-mother? Are you alright? Have you eaten supper?” Frigga didn’t even glance his way.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No, baby.” This puzzled Loki even more. No she wasn’t alright or no she hadn’t eaten...or both?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ll make you something.” Loki had indeed made something. Grilled cheese on one piece of bread, the last piece, and a glass of the remaining milk. As he set the glass on Frigga’s night stand and the plate by her arm resting under her head, he wished his mother goodnight and headed back to the kitchen. Grabbing a slice of cheese, he made his way to his room. He ignored the angry noises his stomach made, knowing he’d try to eat better tomorrow.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Before he entered his room, a loud slam of the front door startled him. Thor. Rolling his eyes, he made his way back towards the kitchen.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shh! Be quiet, mother is resting.” Loki whisper yelled at his clumsy careless brother. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “She’s always sleeping, brother.” Thor then belched quite obnoxiously, making Loki’s nose wrinkle in disgust.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Where were you, are you honestly sloshed right now?” Thor laughed and held up the bottle of rum he and his friends were drinking. Bringing it to his lips, he made a show gulping it down. Loki just stood there horrified. How could he!? That stuff made Odin a monster. Did the smell not churn his stomach as it did to his own?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I was with my pals of course. We met some lovely birds.” Loki rolled his eyes. Of course he was out flirting with women. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well you reek. Go shower and get that disgusting alcohol off you and out of you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Come now, Loki. How old are you now, sixteen or seventeen?” Hiccup. “You’re old enough to have a sip.” Thor quickly stumbled over to Loki and held the bottle forcibly up to the younger one’s lips. Outraged, Loki swatted the bottle out of Thor’s hand, shattering it on the floor and spilling the rest of the booze. More of the alcohol began to permeate the air and created a familiar knot in Loki’s stomach. Thor grumbling low made Loki flinch and step back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why you little…” Thor grabbed Loki roughly by the shirts of both his shoulders. Loki’s eyes widened in horror, feeling gut wrenching deja vu, but he forced himself to swallow his fear. This was Thor, not Odin. Loki managed to wiggle out of his brother’s drunken hold, no longer caring Frigga slept. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “ENOUGH!” Loki clenched his fists as rage trembled his body. “I’m done. I’m so done with your teasing, your bickering, your carelessness. You could have at least filled the fridge today instead of fuck around with whores. I don’t get paid until Friday, but heavens know we won’t survive until then. You wasted your money on alcohol and leisure and now mother and I suffer for it.” Loki was growing hysterical. He hit his breaking point. “As soon as I am able. As soon as I have enough to support myself, I’m leaving this shit hole...and I won’t be coming back.” </em>
</p><p>The stirring of Frigga had pulled Loki back from drowning in memories. Frigga’s eye’s gently fluttered open to meet Loki’s stare. At first she gazed at him as if he were an illusion, but as the seconds rolled by, her face lit up as her mouth and eyes widened in astonishment. </p><p>“Loki, is it really you?” The breathy disbelief in her voice made Loki’s stomach clench. He stopped breathing hearing the soft comforting tone that could only be from Frigga. </p><p>“I’m here, mother.” Loki’s own response was deep and soft as he leaned forward to grab the hand that was free from the IV. He softly smiled as Frigga squeezed his hand as if to verify he was actually present. </p><p>“I...I have missed you so, so much, baby.” Loki couldn’t take it seeing the tears form in Frigga’s eyes. He swiftly stood and leaned over to embrace his mother. Loki buried his head in the crook of his mother’s neck and held her as tight as he could without hurting her. He was mildly embarrassed to feel his own eyes water. Frigga brought her hand up to stroke the back of her son’s head and run her fingers slowly through his dark hair. </p><p>“I’ve missed you too.” It was the truth. There was no point in denying that he had always felt safe in his adoptive mother’s arms. </p><p>Frigga held her son as firmly to her body as she could. She did not want this beautiful dream to end. Her youngest son was in her arms again. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I know...I know I failed you as a mother. I...if I had gotten help sooner. If I had been stronger…” Loki shook his head into Frigga’s neck hearing her voice be cut off with emotion. Suddenly it felt as if a thousand pebbles landed in his stomach...heavy with regret and guilt. He had left her just like Odin. He was here now though and that was all he could do for the moment. Loki gently pulled away to see her face. He clenched his jaw keeping his own emotions in check. </p><p>“Someone once told me,” He started off softly. “...true strength lies not with the arrogant but with the suffering and fearful. That despite their suffering and fear, those with genuine bravery and strength still persevere.” Frigga slowly smiled and felt a warm tear fall down her cheek. She squeezed Loki’s hand again.</p><p>“That is very wise, my son. May I ask who shared this perspective?” Loki gazed down and Frigga watched a sad smile grow across her son’s face. </p><p>“A girl, then.” She delicately assumed. She patiently waited for him to respond to her mother’s intuition.</p><p>“It doesn’t really matter now. It is more than likely I am a deceitful snake in her eyes.” Frigga’s heart sank hearing the sorrow in Loki’s voice. She frowned in contemplation and comfortingly ran her thumb over her son’s knuckle. </p><p>“I take it that this happened recently?” Frigga’s gentle voice didn’t feel like she was prying. It sounded concerned and genuine. Loki exhaled loudly. </p><p>“There was a misunderstanding. She was convincingly told I had been unfaithful to her. Of course it is anything but the truth. I...I could see us. Really see us in the future together. She’s beautiful inside and out. The kindest and most gentle heart I’ve ever known.” Loki was surprised he shared so much with his mother, but it felt right. Frigga gave him a warm smile. </p><p>“My son, if she is all you say she is, in which I have no doubt, she’ll come around. If not, then you know there is an even better match waiting for you.” Despite the optimism his mother shared, his heart and mind both agreed that it was very unlikely. He smirked gently. </p><p>“Since when did you, mother, grow to have a  ‘glass is half full’ attitude?” Frigga let out a weak chuckle as her eyes gleamed in happiness, something Loki hadn’t seen for decades. </p><p>“Since, my dear son, I have had about five years of seeing a therapist. She has helped me rethink my thoughts and given me a new lens to look through. My forever regret is that I did not seek this psychological support when you were a mere boy. My failure as you and Thor’s mother will forever be my biggest regret.” </p><p>“No. You did not fail us. Thor apparently is a married man with a child of his own now. I am a music artist just as I’ve always wanted to be. You did the best you could at the time. That’s what we all were doing.” Frigga gave him a watery smile.</p><p>“I was with your father for fifteen years.” Loki bit his tongue to hold in his, ‘not my father’ comment. “The first three years were honestly...bliss. I was genuinely happy and naively thought we always would be. Then the car accident. The glass...it left him with one eye. Work became too difficult, bills piled, stress increased. Alcohol and myself became his outlet.” Loki clenched his jaw and tightened his hold on his mother’s hand. “I had decided to leave him...but then I found myself with child, your brother. My mother wouldn’t have supported me crawling back to her divorced and pregnant. I had no money to support myself...there was no choice. I had to stay with your father. Your brother was the reason I continued living. As time went on...things got a little better. Odin tried to stop drinking. Thor was just a toddler. Our family didn’t feel complete. I needed another little one to love. We tried with no success. After working through the adoption agency they said they found a match. The moment I laid my eyes on the little skinny baby with a head full of black as night hair...I fell in love. You were my son. And with that, our family felt complete. But Odin started drinking again. I began hating myself for bringing an innocent baby into an abusive home, but by the time I even considered giving you back out of love...I just couldn’t. You had begun calling me ‘mama.’ And I’d rather have died than be separated from either of my children. When he left that morning...it was...it was as if my soul was encased in a stasis. I felt numb. I wasn’t good enough for my husband...I wasn’t good enough for my children. I would wake up in night sweats thinking he had returned...and finally I couldn’t take it. I had to get us as far away as possible. But even in America the night terrors haunted me, leaving me useless with exhaustion. I fell into depression without even being aware of it.” </p><p>Except the medical equipment buzzing and beeping, it was dead silent. Loki abruptly stood and leaned back down giving Frigga a tight hug. He rested his forehead on her shoulder, too ashamed to look up as he felt tears leak and dampen the light blue hospital gown. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I left you...like <em> he </em> did.” Loki swallowed a sob as he clutched to his mother like a little boy. Frigga wrapped her arms around her son and again ran her fingers through his hair. </p><p>“My dear boy, your leaving was entirely different. A son is supposed to leave his mother like a bird leaves a nest. Our nest was not a healthy one to live in. I never blamed you for leaving.” They held each other for several minutes. “I am so proud of the man you have become, Loki.” Loki sniffled and sat up to look at her with a hopeful crease in his brow. </p><p>“You are?” Frigga reached over and cupped his jaw in motherly affection.</p><p>“I am. You have attained your dream of being a musician. Your brilliant mind of song-writing has inspired people all over the country. You have always had a kind heart...taking care of me when you shouldn't have needed to. I am sorry it took me this long to share that I am proud of you.” Loki slowly gave a small smile.</p><p>“I...I didn’t understand as a boy why things changed between us. But eventually I understood it was not just me that suffered so, it was all of us. We did the best we could to survive our demons. I...I forgive you.”</p><p>It was as if the thousands of stones in his stomach had vanished. The little spot in his heart that had cracked and shattered so long ago finally began to carefully mend itself together. And as Frigga and Loki continued their conversation, laughing, crying, joking, remembering, and making new memories...he knew everything was going to be okay.</p><p>.......................................</p><p>Amanda had called Emily Sunday evening to find out the details of her weekend with Loki. As she took in the unexpected turn of events, she politely asked in all seriousness if she could, ‘fly up to Brooklyn and kick Loki’s nuts into his stomach and throw Rebecca off a balcony.’ Emily had laughed at the ridiculousness of it, but thanked her for the protectiveness. Amanda had told her it was ultimately her decision to resume connections with Loki and to listen to her gut when making said decision. Eventually she came to one. </p><p>Setting her phone on loudspeaker now, her voicemail message finally played.</p><p> <em> “Emily.... I-I know you probably despise me now. I only ask...please allow me to explain what really happened last evening. I swear to you on my life I have not nor will I ever be unfaithful to you. Oh darling, you are the light in my life. Every time I sing that song about wanting someone to pull me out of the darkness and into the light, that’s you Emily...my light. If...if you don’t believe me over this message, please allow me to see you in person and explain. Emily...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  </em></p><p>She had scarcely breathed through the message. She had to listen to it not just a second, but a third time. Her eyes brimmed with hot tears and her heart ached as she heard the hurt and plead in his voice. Wiping a tear from her face, she knew what she had to do. </p><p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Second Chances, Princess Party, & a Heart to Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Pretty much summed up in the title. Loki continues to be with Frigga at the hospital. He gets a phone call and later, a different phone call with an invitation to supper.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello :)<br/>Thank you all for your kudos/comments. I appreciate them so very much.<br/>This chapter has more Thor in it, and I couldn't help it...I stole a line of Loki's from one of the deleted scenes of the first Thor movie. If you've seen it, I'm sure you'll know which line it is ;)</p>
<p>Also!! I am going back and changing Thor's daughter's age. Instead of almost 2, she is almost 4. Sorry for mix up!</p>
<p>WARNINGS: Mention of child/domestic abuse (more towards the end)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily had been anxious all morning rehearsing in her mind what to say to Loki for when she would call him. She had an outline in her mind of the apology she was going to make. For now, she set aside these thoughts to give the little boy in front of her, her undivided attention. Emily smiled in affection seeing the child stick his tongue out while frowning in concentration. </p>
<p>“Ms. Fawn, I can’t do it! You can’t take seven from five. It’s impossible.” The second grader pouted crossing his arms on the table in defeat. </p>
<p>“That’s true Alex, unless you want a negative number, which is below zero.” Emily opened her mouth to continue her point, when the child in front of her suddenly lit up in excitement. </p>
<p>“There are numbers <em> below </em> zero?! I thought zero was the smallest one!” Emily laughed in good nature. </p>
<p>“Yes! Negative numbers you will learn in a few years. Along with multiplying and dividing. For now, let's work on this one, shall we? 95 minus 67. Remember how we line them up?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, but that’s where I’m stuck.” Emily smiled encouragingly at Alex. Taking her pencil she patiently worked through the problem with him. </p>
<p>“Oh! So when you cross out the nine and make it eight, the five becomes fifteen. Fifteen minus seven... is eight. And then with the other numbers, eight minus six is two. So the answer is...28?” His hopeful eyes looked up at her.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Emily applauded him and the child beamed. “I knew you could do it. Alex, you can do anything you set your mind to.”</p>
<p>“Even become a mathematician?” He eagerly questioned. </p>
<p>“Most definitely. Follow your passions. I don’t know many children who desire to work on their math skills during the summer. I’d say your motivation and hard work has already made you a little mathematician.” Alex giggled and enthusiastically continued on to the next problem. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Relaxing into her turquoise couch, Emily now sipped from a glass jar of peach sweet tea with her phone in her pale green skirted  lap. The tutor session had gone very well she thought. There was nothing better in this world to her than to see bright young minds learn. Taking a deep breath and mentally reciting the words she had practiced, she selected Loki’s contact icon on her phone and hit call. Her heart thudded heavy in her chest as she heard the daunting dial tone. </p>
<p>..........................................</p>
<p>Loki sat in the familiar blue patterned hospital chair chewing a mouthful of fruit while Frigga sat up in bed with a plate full of food in front of her on a bedside table positioned over her lap. Loki swallowed and gave his mother a mock inquisitive expression. </p>
<p>“Why is it that hospital food tastes...well, like hospital food?” Frigga laughed as she took another bite of her turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread. </p>
<p>“Just part of the experience, my son. Better enjoy it.” She quipped back with happiness gleaming in her eyes. It had been a good morning. Frigga felt physically stronger and she and her son continued to mend their relationship. The nurse had come in and given them information to see a dietitian too. Foods to avoid and foods to be encouraged were briefly discussed with the kind and helpful nurse. </p>
<p>“Well then, I must enjoy this marvelous cup of fruit,” he joked back with a smirk. With that, he took just over a golf ball sized scoop full of blueberries and strawberries into his mouth, making his mother scold him playfully about manners. A sudden vibration in his pocket halted his chewing. Thinking it was Thor, he leisurely brought his phone into view. Just about choking seeing it was Emily, he rapidly stood up with wide eyes. </p>
<p>“It’s her!” He mumbled through his full mouth to Frigga. Frigga brought a hand up to hold back a little laugh at seeing her son so frantic about this woman. </p>
<p>“Hello, Emily.” Loki mentally kicked himself and prayed she understood him as he hurriedly chewed and swallowed the contents in his mouth. </p>
<p>“Loki? Are...are you okay? Is that chewing? Oh! I can call back, I’m sorry if you’re having lunch. I’ll call back-”</p>
<p>“No!” He’d be damned if he’d miss an opportunity to explain what had happened last Friday. Loki finally swallowed the last large lump of fruit, wincing as it went down his throat.  “I’m fine, just finished eating. This is a perfect time to talk.” He mentally cursed himself for almost sounding panicked as his pulse increased.</p>
<p>“Oh! Okay. Well I...Last Friday I thought something that turned out not to be true. Not that I didn’t trust you, I do trust you! Um...this isn’t how I wanted to say this.” Loki heard her sigh and furrowed his brows trying to decipher her thoughts with hope in his heart. “What I’m trying to say is...I am so sorry. I am so sorry I left without waiting to see you, to hear the truth from you. I should have known she was lying to me. Of course you weren’t naked! I did try to come in though, Rebecca didn’t let me cross your doorstep.” Loki swallowed harshly attempting to scramble words together in his brain. Emily thought <em> she </em>needed to apologize to him? Rebecca used force to keep her outside? That sent his blood boiling. And yes he was naked, but only to shower. He refused to have any deceitful barriers between them.</p>
<p>“Darl- Emily, you have no reason to apologize. What Rebecca pulled that evening...was abhorrent. I must confess though, I <em> was </em> naked when you arrived.” Loki widened his eyes and turned around remembering his mother was in the room. If he hadn’t been adopted, he would have sworn he inherited the raised brow that faced him now. </p>
<p>“...You were just showering then?” Loki licked his lips and quickly replied. </p>
<p>“Yes, but I was entirely alone in the shower. She didn’t come in. I had the door locked.” </p>
<p>“Oh. I believe you. I should never have listened to what the crocodi-um...I mean Rebecca said.” Loki paused and blinked, replaying in his mind what he thought he heard Emily about to say. A huge grin spread across his face.</p>
<p>“Emily...were you about to refer to my ex as a <em> crocodile</em>?” He couldn’t hold in the chuckles that soon broke out into a full laugh, preventing him to respond to Emily’s insistent apologies. Wiping an amused tear from his eye, he slowly brought his laughter back into a few chuckles. A crocodile. Yes, that suited the woman perfectly he concluded. </p>
<p>“Emily, thank you for that laugh.”</p>
<p>“You’re...not mad?” Her timid voice made Loki grimace. He didn’t want to make this worse, but it was difficult discussing this over a phone call. </p>
<p>“Absolutely not. Dar-Emily, would you care to meet with me so that we might discuss this all in person?” He kept his voice gentle, but couldn’t stop the hopefulness that leaked through. He wished with all his heart that their relationship could be salvaged.</p>
<p>“Yes, I agree. In person would be better. It will fix any misunderstandings we have with each other.  Where would you like to meet?” </p>
<p>“If you’re not against it...may we try my place one more time?”</p>
<p>“I’d love that, Loki. It’s so good to hear your voice. I’m sorry I’m so stupid sometimes. Thank you for giving me a second chance to talk things through.” Loki frowned in frustration that she still somehow put the blame on herself alone for this wild misunderstanding. </p>
<p>“Emily dear, this is not anyone’s fault...if anything it is more my fault. Let’s save this conversation until we arrange a day to meet in person.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Emily didn’t sound convinced that Loki was the one to blame. “I’ll text or email you later then for a specific date. How has your day been, Loki?” </p>
<p>“It has been well I suppose. I am actually with my mother now.” Frigga grinned over to where her son glanced up and over at her. </p>
<p>“Oh my goodness! Please forgive me for interrupting family time! I will message you later. Give your mom a hug and hello from me. Take care, Loki.”</p>
<p>“Emily, you are just fine. I will do that, thank you. I look forward to hearing from you later. Have a good day, Emily.” Frigga smiled and chuckled as she shook her head seeing how smitten Loki was. It overall sounded like a positive conversation from what she was able to hear from his end. Although, she did wonder what the naked part was in their chat, but decided against inquiring about it. </p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>Loki stayed most of the remaining day with his mother at the hospital. Frigga had kindly remarked that Emily seemed like a sweetheart after her son shared Emily’s virtual hug and hello. Loki politely refused another hospital meal and decided to pick something up on the way back to his place for the week. Kissing his mother’s forehead and wishing her a good night, he left the hospital. As he drummed his fingers over the black leather steering wheel while waiting for a green light, his brother called. Thor asked Loki to come over for a late supper if he hadn’t already eaten. Narrowing his eyes in deep thought of whether he should drive the almost hour out of his way to do so, Loki reluctantly agreed. The grumbling of an almost empty stomach distracted him enough to swallow his nerves as he sped up to merge on the highway towards his brother and never met before niece. </p>
<p>Parking on the side of the street near a long narrow driveway to a modest yellow shuttered home, he gazed over the skyline. The light purple sky began to dim into a dark night blue. Taking a deep breath of much needed courage, he began walking towards Thor’s house. What had his nerves worked up most was the second phone call he received from his brother as he had just turned down the street of Thor’s home. Apparently Jane’s business trip had been rescheduled, meaning she was home. Thor was running late from whatever he was doing and would be arriving later than expected...meaning he was <em> not </em>home. And so, Thor had shared the ‘password’ to gain entry into the home, “muffins.” Running a hand through his hair, he rang the small white door bell. What was he going to say? Hello, I am Thor’s brother, yes you have never met me, but I assure you I am perfectly safe to allow into your home. Although saying ‘muffins’ was supposedly the “I am not a stranger” code. He let thoughts and phrases of potential things to say run wild through his mind. These were abruptly halted hearing the distinct sound of the door unlocking. </p>
<p>A short woman, although not as short as Emily, with long straight brown hair that curled at its ends greeted him on the other side of the door. She wore a simple form fitting grey zip up sweatshirt and black sweatpants. The small brunette with brown eyes reminded him of Emily, bringing a small ache to his chest. Although this woman facing him now, presumably Thor’s wife, was very beautiful, Loki thought how no one could ever hold a candle to his Emily. </p>
<p>“Can I help you?” The woman asked while crossing her arms over her chest as a light cool breeze blew their way. </p>
<p>“Yes, hello. I am Loki...has Thor mentioned me before?” He kept his voice soft and gentle. The confusion and suspicion in the woman’s eyes immediately changed to recognition upon hearing the name. </p>
<p>“Loki? You’re Thor’s brother. Yes, he did mention it was a possibility you’d be coming over this week.” After still not being allowed in, a growing awkward pause carried over the two of them. </p>
<p>“Ah. Yes, forgive me. I believe I was instructed to say, muffins.” A relaxed smile spread across the woman’s face as she opened the door wider and allowed him entry. </p>
<p>“Yeah, it might seem overkill, but we take every little precaution with Cynthia. It’s a simple enough word too that she will soon understand not to let anyone in the house that doesn’t say the secret word.” Loki smiled and admired the creativity to protect the family. He would have been more shocked if Jane had just allowed him in the home without confirmation of who he was. He followed the woman through the entryway into a spacious open floor plan with a kitchen and living room area. </p>
<p>“I’m Jane by the way.” Jane held out her hand as they stopped in the living room. Loki smiled politely and grasped Jane’s hand into a gentle firm handshake. </p>
<p>“Pleasure to meet you. Forgive me again, I did not know of your existence until very recently.” Jane lightly chuckled. </p>
<p>“Yes well, besides the news of your band, Thor really didn’t know how to see or contact you. But, you’re here now. I’m assuming you’re staying for supper?” Frowning slightly, Loki realized that Thor hadn’t personally had his number, but that he must have gotten it only through his mother’s emergency contact list. He himself didn’t even have Thor’s number until Thor had called that day after his run. </p>
<p>“Yes, Thor had invited me over for such, I apologize if I am inconveniencing you?” He couldn’t believe his brother hadn’t told Jane he’d be coming for dinner tonight. What was that fool thinking? </p>
<p>“No, no it’s totally fine. Honestly, Thor sometimes has these ideas and forgets to tell me in his excitement.” She walked over to the oven and checked on the casserole. “Unfortunately you aren’t able to meet Couper, our golden retriever. He’s with a neighbor tonight. I was supposed to go to Boston for a conference, but it was rescheduled last minute. I didn’t want Thor stressing over the dog with everything going on with his-your mother. Supper should be ready in fifteen minutes and there’s more than enough to go around. Can I get you some water while you wait, or I think we have lemonade?”</p>
<p>Just then a little figure peaked around the corner from the living room. Loki peered over curiously to see if it was his niece. Sure enough, a small child with a head of dark blonde wavy curls framed around a rounded face with big blue eyes curiously gazed at him. As more of her tentatively came into view, Loki chuckled warmly seeing a silver tiara with pink and purple gems resting on her little head. She wore a plain purple t-shirt and white loose leggings, but a pink and silver sequined tutu covered most of her little chubby legs. Jane turned to the little girl and spoke in an animated motherly tone.</p>
<p>“Cynthie, this is your uncle, Loki. He is daddy’s brother. Can you say hello to him?” Little bare feet pitter-pattered in a hurried pace over to Jane where the child took refuge behind her mother’s legs. There was a brief pause as the child gathered courage to speak to the stranger.</p>
<p>“Hi, Unka Woki!” The little thing shyly squeaked out and waved before hiding back behind her mother’s legs, gripping Jane’s baggy sweatpants. Loki realized his towering form must be intimidating for the small child and so he crouched into a squat down near her eye level.</p>
<p>“Hello, Cynthia. It is a pleasure to meet you.” The pink and silver sequin on her little tutu and the tiara on her head gave him a great conversation starter. “My, your mother didn’t tell me you’re a princess! It is an honor to meet you, your majesty.” Loki tucked his head down in a little bow towards Cynthia. The small child giggled in delight at hearing herself referred to as a princess. Suddenly her shyness vanished and she walked up to him, grabbing his hand. Jane and Loki both laughed as Cynthia began tugging on his hand to have him follow her. And so he did. </p>
<p>“Dis my pwincess pawty!” An amused Loki walked crouched down as Cynthia led him to a pathetically small toddler sized pink chair and a small, short, rounded white table.  Jane brought her hand up to stiffle a laugh at seeing her brother-in-law’s tall body seated in one of Cynthia’s sized chairs. Cynthia was so excited to have a new friend. She didn’t really understand what an ‘uncle’ was, but was happy she had Loki with her. She grabbed a plastic purple tea cup and handed it proudly to Loki. Loki smiled at her as he took it from her little chubby fingers. He pretended to sip from it and made a pleased sound as if it was the best beverage in the world. </p>
<p>“Mmm. Very delicious. Thank you, little one.” Cynthia giggled and sat across from him sipping out of her own empty tea cup. Loki glanced to his left to see the third chair occupied by a large stuffed bear with its own plastic tea cup in front of it. As the minutes passed filled with laughter and pretend tea, Loki found himself yearning again to be a father. Surely he wouldn’t be as terrible as he thought if he was able to bring so much laughter to the child in front of him now? He was pulled from his thoughts as he heard an electronic click. Glancing over to his right, his jaw dropped slightly seeing his brother quietly laughing holding his phone out in front of him. No doubt capturing the moment of Loki sitting in the ridiculous tiny chair having a tea party with Thor’s daughter. </p>
<p>“Oh, I never thought I’d see the day.” Loki narrowed his eyes in suspicion seeing his brother grinning down at the photo he had just taken. Was it out of love to see Thor’s daughter finally meeting her uncle or mockery of Loki engaging in a toddler tea party? Gently excusing himself from the princess party with his niece, he made his way over to his brother. Immediately he was engulfed in a tight hug. </p>
<p>“It’s so good to have you in my home, Loki. Please know you are always welcomed, brother.” Loki smirked in good nature as he patted Thor’s back in return.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Thor. You have a lovely home. And a lovely wife and daughter.” Thor continued to grin at him after he said his thanks. Loki cleared his throat and placed his hands in his pockets as he looked around being unsure of what to say next. </p>
<p>“Daddy!” Suddenly a little body collided with Thor’s knees. Loki gave a small smile as he watched his brother pick up Cynthia and throw her up in the air, of course gaining squeals and laughter from the child. </p>
<p>“And how is my little lovebug this evening.” Thor rested Cynthia on his hip as he walked towards the kitchen. The little girl wrapped her arms around Thor’s neck in an excited hug.</p>
<p>“I’m good! I had pwincess pawty with Unka Woki, daddy!” Thor chuckled glancing over to his brother. </p>
<p>“I saw. Did you make him your special tea?” He sat Cynthia on her little booster chair in the kitchen as she proudly nodded her head. Thor tiptoed over to Jane who was scooping up casserole onto large dinner plates. He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and leaned down to kiss her cheek. </p>
<p>“And how is mama doing today?” Jane giggled and turned her head sideways to catch the kiss on her lips instead. Loki felt as if he were prying or witnessing a private family moment. He averted his eyes to the wall and tapped his fingers against his thigh. His brain couldn’t help but imagine himself coming home after a long day of rehearsal to a family of his own. How sweet Emily would look holding a babe on her hip. He grinned as he felt a flicker of hope that it would one day come true. Before the doubts of his capability of being a father could enter his mind, Jane called him over to the table. </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>Dinner was delicious and full of laughter and lots of chatter. Loki had politely thanked Jane for her hospitality and the warm food. She smiled warmly at him and picked up Cynthia to get her ready for bed. Cynthia waved goodnight to Loki and tiredly sing-songed, “Night night, Unka Woki.” Jane had thought to give her husband and Loki some time to chat. She knew of their painful childhood and recognized they needed to talk some things through. </p>
<p>Loki now followed Thor as he gave a tour of his home. Thor was happy to hear that his mother was improving and was to be discharged from the hospital soon. As the tour continued, Loki frowned as they came across a little open nook in the wall from where he was being shown the office area. Peering inside the wall nook, Loki’s lips parted and eyes widened in surprise. The whole area was seemingly dedicated to his band. The shelves held his albums and a banner of Frost City was nailed to the wall. Framed newspaper clippings of moments the band or Loki was musically acknowledged and praised covered that same wall. Clenching his jaw and blinking back a sudden bout of tears, he cleared his throat and gave his brother a vulnerable questioning glance.</p>
<p>“Yes, I um.” Thor cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck gazing back at the frame. “I have kept a little collection of your music progress. This one here,” he pointed to a framed piece of newspaper, “this is when you released your first album and signed with the music record company.” Loki’s brows knit together as he just stared at the grinning blonde in front of him. </p>
<p>“...Why?” Loki couldn’t help the raw vulnerability that broke through his voice. Why had his previously careless brother cared enough to read, let alone frame his accomplishments? Thor broke his gaze from the frame to face Loki with a grin still plastered on his face. </p>
<p>“What can I say, I’m a proud big brother.” Thor’s grin faltered as he saw the emotion clouding his brother’s face. He sighed. “Loki, I know...I know that I was a shit brother for a good many years.” He stopped to swallow the sudden emotions that bombarded him now too. “I want to try. I really want for you to be part of my life again, part of Cynthia’s life. She adores you already.” He allowed a watery chuckle as he looked down. Loki was speechless from what he was hearing his brother say. When he remained silent, Thor continued. “I actually came to your first concert. After years of not seeing you, I saw you up there, so close and yet so far away. I can’t even begin to tell you how painful it was. Being so proud, but unable to be close to you. I tried...after the concert to get to you, but the security people waved me off not believing I was your brother. I didn’t blame them. I wasn’t worthy of calling myself that.” Loki licked his dry lips preparing to finally speak. </p>
<p>“Had I known you were there...I don’t know what I would have done. Two years ago, I don’t know if I would have been ready to dive back into family.” He saw the dejectedness in Thor as his brother looked down in disappointment and shame. “But. At the present moment, those aren’t my sentiments.” He witnessed how quickly his brother’s face could go from depressed to hopeful. “Thor, I am happy for you. Really, I am. And...I see you’ve changed. Grown up and become someone I am proud to call my big brother.” Thor brought Loki into a tight embrace. Both men fought off their emotions, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Loki knew the opportunity to talk so freely and specifically about their brotherhood would likely not come around again. So, he opened his heart a little more. “That evening...when Odin first told me I was adopted, it was as if my world shattered. When…” Loki choked off a sob. “When he beat me that night, he told me how unwanted I was. How it would have been better had I not been born.” Thor gripped Loki tighter and gently pulled back enough to see the tears rolling down his brother’s face. “I believed it. It all made sense to me. My real parents didn’t want me, fa-Odin left the following morning, you stopped playing with me and began ignoring me, and mother. She seemed to have become a living ghost.” He heaved in a shaky breath. Thor felt a warm tear slide down his own face hearing his brother’s heartfelt confession. </p>
<p>“I...I never had meant to ignore you, Loki. I...I just couldn’t stand being in that place. Every wall and room was a constant reminder of father’s cruelty. I mean, there wasn’t a damn place he didn’t beat us or mother. I guess I pushed down everything and tried to forget it. I tried getting away more because when I saw you and mother it just, it just brought me back to times I rather would have forgotten. Even when we came to America. I became careless, reckless, pathetic. Too ashamed to change. When you left all those years ago, I finally looked in the mirror. I...I didn’t want to be that anymore. I’m so sorry for failing you as a brother, Loki.” A reflective pause lingered for a minute as Loki absorbed Thor's words. </p>
<p>“You didn’t...you’re here now...I forgive you.” A calm silence fell on the two brothers. They embraced each other once more before pulling away and wiping their eyes. “Now give us a kiss.” Loki quipped with a small smirk and playful twinkle in his eye to lighten the mood. It worked as both men laughed and headed back towards the living room.</p>
<p>Both feeling like a heavy boulder had been finally lifted off their shoulders.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Testing the Waters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The day has come for Loki and Emily to meet and discuss the status of their relationship after not seeing each other in over a month. Also, the weather decides to have a mind of its own.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! </p>
<p>Life has been SUPER busy lately, but I found time to finish up this chapter. I hope you enjoy. Also, in celebration of over 50,000 words, I decided this fic deserved a cover pic. So...I made one! I imagine Emily's hair to be slightly shorter, but as time goes on, it will probably end up being this length.<br/>A few things:<br/>Singing in the Rain lyrics from the 1952 movie, obviously not mine haha.<br/>I took Spanish classes like 8 years ago in high school, so I may not have it perfect. I apologize if any of the words used are spelled wrong or something. </p>
<p>Anyway, as always, comments/kudos appreciated. Thank you so much for reading :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p>
<p>On a cloud cast day with sparse sunlight, Emily drove down a familiar road with a large white stoned house in sight. She hummed to distract her anxiety ridden thoughts as the beautiful structure grew closer. It had been two weeks since she had called Loki that day to apologize. Despite having a perfect apology rehearsed, upon actually saying the words she had drawn a huge blank hearing Loki’s voice. Since then, they have had three other phone call conversations. Although these conversations had been polite and filled with kind words, Emily felt slightly disheartened that Loki had been purposefully refraining from calling her the endearing names that he used say with such tenderness and affection. Darling, dear, dearheart...she longed to hear those names on his lips again.</p>
<p>Parking her little beetle in the wrap around driveway, an eerie deja vu that created tight knots of anxiety washed over her. Instead of bringing an overnight bag and guitar for a weekend stay, this time they had agreed on a lunch and afternoon visit to ease back into their relationship. She hoped so anyways. Cursing her insane insecure thoughts to the back of her mind, she began the nauseating familiar stroll  to the grand front door with hope that it was Loki this time that was on the other side of it.</p>
<p>.......................................</p>
<p>Loki paced nervously in his foyer as he awaited Emily’s arrival. Hearing the slam of a car door, his head jerked up to peer out the window. A wide smile grew across his face as he saw a familiar little brunette walking towards his home. Not being able to stand being apart any longer, he opened the door to greet her. </p>
<p>Emily wrung her hands in front of her to shake off the nerves just as the door had opened. Seeing the eager and warm grin on Loki’s face had calmed her anxiety ever so slightly. It almost felt pretend to her, seeing him face to face, a mere hand reach away to touch. Her heart beat like a hummingbird in a cage as her eyes took in the sight before her. Loki wore a simple deep blue t-shirt with black jeans. His hair was down and combed back, allowing the natural wave to shape some of the black strands. His bright emerald eyes held an almost unseen vulnerable hope and joy that she mirrored back in her soul. </p>
<p>“Hello, Emily. You look beautiful.” Her stomach flipped hearing that gorgeous deep velvet voice again. </p>
<p>“Thank you! You look good too! You have a lovely home. It’s very elegant and I love the large windows.” Loki indulged in the clear soft voice of the woman in front of him. How he had ached to be with her again, and now the moment had finally come. Emily wore a peach sundress with a baggy thin jean jacket tied in the front at her waist. Her wavy thick hair had grown, now reaching almost two inches below her chin. Sweet big brown eyes and a timid smile gazed up at him. She was more than beautiful, she was stunning, Loki thought. </p>
<p>“Thank you. Please, come in.” Leading them both inside, he reflected how this is how it should have gone the first time. </p>
<p>Emily eyed around the spacious interior with awe. She craned her neck to gaze at the high crown molded ceilings. A chandelier above them in the entrance twinkled and cast several rainbows on the wall as the sun’s rays hit the crystals just right. The dark wooden staircase was open and led to a small balcony of the second floor. She could fit several of her own living spaces inside of his home she realized with a giggle. </p>
<p>“Loki...this is breathtaking!” He glanced over at her with a kind smile.  </p>
<p>“Thank you, Emily. It is a peaceful place to come after months of the adventurous chaos of band tours.” He chuckled and led her to the kitchen. Emily continued to gape at the incredible detail and design of the house. The view of the large kitchen space with updated appliances made her squeal in excitement. Immediately conjuring images of how many meals and baked goods the kitchen could fill. Loki found Emily’s wonder to be beautiful. Her big brown eyes lit up the room and that wide brilliant smile made his heart flip. Being momentarily distracted, he finally remembered why he directed her to  the kitchen in the first place. </p>
<p>“Would you care for a glass of water? I also have tea.” He softly offered her. </p>
<p>“Water would be just fine, thank you.” Loki smiled and nodded as he reached into a cupboard and took out a tall glass. “So, how long have you had this beautiful home?” Handing Emily her now filled glass, he motioned her to follow him into the living room.</p>
<p>“Just under two years. Before I was in a small apartment, but I hated having my instruments in storage with the worry of them getting damaged or stolen.” They both had sat themselves down on a long dark brown leather couch. </p>
<p>“That makes sense.” Loki sat on one side while Emily sat on the other, sipping her water. They sat in silence for a minute, just enjoying being in each other’s presence again. Loki drummed his fingers softly into the leather arm rest of the couch. They had not discussed the status of their relationship over any of their phone calls in the last couple weeks. He did not want to assume anything and therefore held his tongue from it’s natural urge to refer to Emily in a more than friendly way. He had suggested instead of a weekend stay, an afternoon get together would be best to test the waters and ease back into their relationship...he hoped at least. Taking a deep breath of courage, he swiveled to face her more directly.</p>
<p>“Emily, I want to formally apologize for the...incident with my ex. I swear to you I did not let her in my house that day. She had a spare key that she neglected to leave behind even after being instructed to do so when she moved out. I made her leave and made sure the key stayed here. There is not the slightest chance she can enter my home again.” Loki paused to swallow and wait for Emily’s verdict. Emily frowned, absorbing Loki’s words.  Although she had rarely, if ever, felt the emotion of jealousy, she knew the quick zing that ran through her from head to toe was that emotion. It lasted but a second, but thinking of Loki sharing this home with that awful woman... Wrinkling her nose, she buried those thoughts and gazed into Loki’s eyes with hope and understanding. </p>
<p>“I...I don’t feel like I should forgive you” Loki’s stomach dropped painfully. “Because there’s nothing for me to forgive. Nothing that happened that day was your doing. I came early...when you were still getting ready, and I left without giving you a chance to explain. I listened to my stupid insecurities fueled by that woman’s hateful words.” Emily’s vision began to blur as the overwhelming guilt of hurting Loki by leaving and ignoring his messages came crashing down on her. “I...I am the one that’s sorry. I’m so sorry, Loki.” She felt a warm tear trickle down her face. Loki creased his brows in concern as he shifted closer and tentatively brought his hand up to brush away the tear with his thumb. Emily’s breath hitched and she closed her eyes as she leaned in towards his gentle cool touch. </p>
<p>“Then we both have nothing to forgive, because although I don’t know the exact words <em> the crocodile </em>” Emily giggled at Loki’s use of the nickname she had for his ex. “May have said to you, I am aware of how wicked her tongue lashing can be.” Sadly smirking, he briefly looked down and back up at her. Emily frowned, but this time with anger. That woman treated Loki with utter disrespect and cruelty. Why did he stay with her so long? She knew why they broke up...but would it be rude to ask him? And does this mean Loki and herself are still dating? Emily bit her lip and sat her empty cup on the glass top coffee table. </p>
<p>“Loki...if you’re not mad at me and still trust me, and I certainly am not mad at you and I still trust you...does that mean, we...that I am still your girlfriend?” Her soft unsure voice held an almost tangible hope. Loki’s eyes lit up hearing those beautiful words from her lips. He scooted even closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her into a side embrace. Loki kissed the top of her head with a large grin quickly following. </p>
<p>“Of course, Emily. Only if you will still have me as your boyfriend, darling.” He felt Emily’s arms around him tighten as she rested her head against his chest. Emily couldn’t help but giggle and sigh in relief. She inhaled his earthy pine scent and enjoyed the body warmth against her face as she felt the beat of his heart. </p>
<p>“Say it again, please. I’ve missed it.” She softly exhaled. Loki chuckled as he raised an eyebrow down at her.</p>
<p>“Only if you will still have me as your boyfriend?” Emily lifted her head up to look at Loki with a happy grin and giggle. </p>
<p>“No, I mean the last part, please?” Loki frowned, but then connected the dots. With a playful smile, he gazed down at Emily with hooded eyelids. </p>
<p>“My, my, my. Did someone miss being called darling?” His deep voice drawled as he admired the soft pink tinge on her face. </p>
<p>“Maybe!” She squeaked and hid herself back in his embrace.</p>
<p>“Well, <em> darling </em> Emily, I have missed calling you that as much as you have missed hearing it, my dear.” </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>After more small talk and enjoying the physical closeness of being embraced by each other, Loki glanced down at his watch and realized they were almost late to the reservations he had made. Promising Emily a more in depth tour of his home after lunch, they headed out to eat. Holding hands, Loki and Emily walked into Chavela’s, one of Brooklyn’s renowned Mexican restaurants. </p>
<p>"Bienvenidos (welcome), Loki! Come, come, I saved the best spot for you and your amor." An enthusiastic middle aged Mexican woman with a tight black bun led them to a small table towards the back with beautiful paintings on the wall. Loki had met Valentina shortly after coming to Brooklyn. Still wanting to make money as he pursued his dream in music, he had worked as a waiter for the first couple years at Chavela’s. </p>
<p>"Gracias, Valentina. This is my girlfriend, Emily." </p>
<p>"Mucho gusto (pleasure/nice to meet you), Valentina." Emily shook hands with the woman. </p>
<p>"Ah, hablas Español (Do you speak Spanish)?" </p>
<p>"Un poco (a bit/a little)!" The three of them laughed and Valentina set down some menus on the round wooden table. </p>
<p>"Well, Emily, your novio (boyfriend) here is a very hardworking and responsible hombre (man). Witty too." She winked at Loki as she walked away. Loki chuckled and shook his head. He missed the harmless bantering back and forth with that woman. </p>
<p>* * * </p>
<p>The couple munching on crunchy tortilla chips and tasting different dips and spices on a black ceramic dish were oblivious to the rain that began pouring outside. Right now, they were fully immersed in each other’s company as they waited for their food to arrive. </p>
<p>“No, Loki! That one is the Jalapeño bean dip.” Emily laughed and pushed it away. Loki chuckled and pushed it back towards her. </p>
<p>“Darling, it’s the only dip we have yet to try. Tell you what.” He scooted his chair closer and leaned over the table towards Emily, almost as if he were about to share a secret. “Why don’t we both try it, on the count of three?” Emily bit her lip, as she couldn’t help the grin that snuck across her face. Playfully rolling her eyes, she dramatically sighed. </p>
<p>“Well, I suppose it would be rude not to at least try it since it was so kindly given to us as part of the appetizer.” Loki’s grin grew and his eyes twinkled playfully as he scooped up a decent sized clump of the dip onto a chip. Emily did the same. On a count of three they both opened their mouths wide and bit into their Jalapeño dip covered chips. At first, nothing happened. But then Emily could have sworn someone set her tongue on fire. Rapidly swallowing the caustic contents in her mouth, she felt the fire spread down her throat as her face began to flush and tears pricked her eyes. Beginning to cough, she saw with mild amusement, Loki was in a similar predicament as his eyes shined with tears too. Loki grabbed his water and began gulping down as Emily soon copied his actions. Gazing over at each other despite the spicy pain they were enduring, neither of them could contain the laughs that abruptly burst out of them. </p>
<p>“That is...” Emily coughed again while laughing. “The last time I will ever allow you to tempt me into trying new foods!” Loki’s laugh settled into amused chuckles once he stopped coughing. </p>
<p>“My dear, I do not blame you.” </p>
<p>As lunch went on, their food arrived and their conversations continued. Emily realized she didn’t know much...actually anything about Loki’s family. She had shared with him of course her situation, of having no family left, but she had yet to hear him talk about his. Remembering when she first called a few weeks ago, he had been with them, or at least his mother. </p>
<p>“So, Loki, how is your mother and family doing?” Loki froze and stopped chewing. Emily noticed immediately the shift in his behavior and bit her tongue in regret. “I-I’m sorry, if you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to, I just remember you saying...never mind.” Loki sighed. He supposed now things were well between him and his mother and brother. The question itself though, used to bring up such negative feelings, that he couldn’t help but freeze to gather himself and remember the good that had transpired these last few weeks.</p>
<p>“No, darling, you are just fine. I...I suppose I have never really mentioned them before, have I?” Loki smoothed his tongue over his front teeth and cleared his throat. “I haven’t had...the best relationship with my mother and brother. Until now that is. I found out that I am an uncle actually.” He smiled seeing his girlfriend squeak in excitement and light up hearing about a child. “My niece is almost four. Likes tea parties, and insists she is a princess.” Emily laughed. </p>
<p>“But of course she is! All little girls are.” She grinned and waited for Loki to continue. She hid her curiosity very well because inside, she was wondering why Loki had just found out he was an uncle when the child was years old. </p>
<p>“My mother...she had a stroke a few weeks ago.” Loki felt Emily’s little hand grasp his and her face transform into concern and empathy. “She is okay now. I guess it was a small stroke. Doctors called it a transient something or other. Anyway, she is better now, fully recovered, but on new medication and diet to help prevent a worse stroke in the future.” </p>
<p>“I’m so happy to hear she is doing better, Loki. I would love to meet her someday...if that’s okay with you of course.” Loki squeezed her hand gently. </p>
<p>“Of course it is. She would love to meet you Emily. And I know you would love to meet Cynthia, my niece. My brother would also be eager to meet you, but know that his hugs can sometimes squeeze the life out of you.” Emily giggled and shook her head in amusement. </p>
<p>“Well, I look forward to meeting them then.” Parting hands, they finished their meal in comfortable silence. The conversation of Loki’s family raised several questions in Emily’s mind. The most prominent one of course, what happened to Loki’s father? Had he passed away, why wasn’t he mentioned? Having seen how delicate the discussion of family was for him, she used her best judgment not to inquire the unmentioned man’s whereabouts. </p>
<p>“Emily, I have a very serious question to ask you before we leave.” Emily sat up straight, and in concern waited for Loki to continue. </p>
<p>“Do my eyebrows resemble anything to hers?” He nodded towards the wall next to them. Emily frowned in confusion, but then threw back her head in laughter seeing the portrait he referred to. </p>
<p>“Loki! That is a masterpiece, a self portrait of Frida Khalo.” Emily continued to giggle as she playfully admonished him. “No, your eyebrows are most certainly not like that. They are much worse,” she quipped. Loki’s jaw dropped in mock offence as he began chuckling. </p>
<p>“I should have known my little painter would defend an artist,” he said with a knowing smirk. </p>
<p>After thanking Valentina for a wonderful lunch, Loki and Emily walked to the exit both frowning as the distinct sound of heavy rain filled their ears. Sure enough, once outside, Emily yelped at the downpour that began soaking them. </p>
<p>“This was supposed to come later tonight! That weather man was hours off!” Loki yelled over the loud wind and rain as he and Emily ran hand in hand to his vehicle. </p>
<p>Teeth chattering and drenched, Emily laughed at the unexpected turn in the weather. Secretly she had always loved the rain. The thrill of the cold water drizzling down her body as she waited for a rainbow to peak out when the sun started to shine was her favorite part. But her laughter quickly died seeing the flash flood warning appear on her phone. Loki frowned as he received the same warning on his phone. </p>
<p>“Emily, darling, I don’t feel comfortable with you driving in this weather. The warning lasts until five in the morning.” Emily’s eyes widened in slight panic. She knew driving three hours in this weather was extremely dangerous. She had even checked the weather before coming. Rain <em> was </em>in the forecast, but it had been predicted to come around the hour when she planned on arriving back to her apartment. Now here she was. She hadn’t brought anything for an overnight stay...and her current attire was soaked through. What was she going to do?! Loki watched an array of emotions cross his girlfriend’s face, he despised the helpless worry that she didn’t even try to hide. “Darling, may I make a suggestion?” Emily just nodded as she clenched her jaw to stop her chattering teeth. </p>
<p>Arriving back to Loki’s home, the rain had eased ever so slightly. Instead of harsh heavy pelts of water, it eased to a soft large water droplet shower that called for Emily to dance in. Loki’s suggestion of staying overnight in his guest bedroom was what they eventually agreed on. She at first was reluctant out of politeness, not wanting to impose, but eventually thanked him repeatedly for the offer. Loki continued to assure her that he wouldn't have it any other way. Emily bit her lip stepping out of the car. Her clothes were already drenched...what was the harm in indulging in her love for the rain a little longer?</p>
<p>Loki quirked an eyebrow as he was about to rush inside, but stopped upon witnessing Emily's fascination with the weather. Her palms were out facing up and she was grinning towards the sky. Her long lashes blinking down repeatedly as water splashed over her face. Her hair almost appeared black as the soaked strands clung around her face. Her previously peach dress now clung to her body in an almost red color, revealing the shape of her legs and the lines of her underwear. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the suddenly twirling girl in front of him. Her smile and laughter as she moved around in the rain with her delicate hands and thoroughly soaked body was entrancing. Not necessarily in a seductive way either, although she was very alluring. Emily’s enthusiasm and love for life was so tangible he wanted to taste it. </p>
<p>“Come dance with me, Loki!” The rain’s pressure continued to ease off enough for it to be almost a pleasant drizzle. It wouldn’t last long though according to the flash flood warning. Loki grinned at the ease in which Emily felt comfortable enough to be herself with him. </p>
<p>“Emily dear, there is no music.” He watched in amusement as she faced him now, with a joyful grin. </p>
<p>“Then sing!” As she spun in circles arms wide, embracing the showers, she started to sing herself. </p>
<p>
  <em> “Just singin' in the rain, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> What a glorious feeling, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I'm happy again! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I'm laughing at clouds </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> So dark up above, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!”  </em>
</p>
<p>It was as if Emily were a sweet siren pulling him towards her. He became fully enraptured and couldn’t stand a second longer not being near her. He quickened his pace towards her, bent down and  scooped her up over his shoulder. Emily squealed and laughed as Loki began spinning her in a circle, now her head being upside down. Loki laughed as he picked up where Emily left off. </p>
<p>
  <em> “Let the stormy clouds chase </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Everyone from the place, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Come on with your rain, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I've got a smile on my face! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> I'll walk down the lane </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> With a happy refrain, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Just singin', singin' in the rain!” </em>
</p>
<p>Loki felt a sudden thrill of joy he had rarely experienced before. A carefree feeling that made his heart feel as if it were flying. Gently guiding a laughing Emily back to her feet, he kept her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. Both of them started to shiver and knew they should go inside and warm up. But before they did so, gazing into each other’s eyes, a silent, but mutual longing grew between them. Emily rose on her tiptoes, and Loki leaned down to meet her cold wet lips. Moaning from finally having Emily back in his arms and her sweet plump lips on his own again, he gently kissed her in a way he hoped conveyed the absolute adoration he had for her. Despite the cold rain, the heat of their kiss warmed Emily to her toes. Oh had she missed this. Loki made her feel so cherished and wanted. As her fingers dug into his dripping wet hair at the base of his neck, she felt Loki’s hand caress her and rest against her lower back. </p>
<p>Parting to breathe, they both grinned at each other like lovesick fools. Feeling the pelts of rain pick up in force, Loki grabbed Emily’s hand and they both ran inside to get warm. </p>
<p>Emily had of course noticed the way Loki’s shirt clung to his chest, revealing lithe defined muscles. She had assumed he was relatively fit, but was not expecting to feel her cheeks warm significantly upon seeing a glimpse of his torso. And she had yet to see him shirtless! As Loki ran upstairs to gather clothes for her to shower and change into, Emily stood in the foyer shivering and biting her lip. She would obviously have to wear his clothes...and what would she do about undergarments?! Perhaps she could put her clothes in the washer and dryer. They’d be ready in a few hours. But it was only two in the afternoon. </p>
<p>She had definitely not expected this visit/date to end up like this. This day was originally to test the waters of their relationship. Emily laughed to herself. Test the waters indeed. Oh how sweet they felt and tasted as Loki kissed her in the rain. Even with the sudden change of events, not having any proper clothes or plans for the day, or tomorrow for that matter, she couldn’t help but feel happy and somehow complete.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Cuddles, Dancing, Conversations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Loki and Emily are trapped inside while it continues to pour outside. But that's okay because they are with each other. Sweet and fluffy with angst a bit towards the end. </p>
<p>WARNING: Mentions of child abuse</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello readers!</p>
<p>I apologize for late update. Life is busy, but I have no plans of leaving Emily and Loki's story unfinished!<br/>Here is the link to the song they listen to, it's one of my favorite old love songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCxhM_E-Eds</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your comments and kudos, they inspire me to keep writing haha.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From her view, Emily could see Loki’s peaceful face as he read aloud the book in his hands that hovered over her. With her head in his soft grey sweatpants covered lap, she enjoyed the soft deep timbre of Loki’s voice. After he would turn a page, he’d run his fingers through her almost dry wavy hair. The rain continued to pour hard and heavy against the window panes. Emily couldn’t help but close her eyes and sigh with a smile at the feeling of Loki’s long gentle fingers grazing over her scalp and through her hair. So absorbed in his ministrations that she did not realize he had stopped reading. </p>
<p>“Well darling, I’d say I almost have you purring like a cat.” Loki quipped with an amused smirk down at Emily, eliciting a most beautiful flush on her face in Loki’s opinion. </p>
<p>“Well I can’t help it! Your fingers are magic, Loki.” Emily rolled over in embarrassment away from him, missing the widening of his eyes at her innocent mistake of wording. Loki cleared his throat and set the book aside needing to change positions. And more importantly, guide Emily off his lap. He had already been in battle with his bodily reactions that day ever since Emily wobbled out of the guest bathroom, attempting to roll his bathrobe sleeves up her arms and fasten the front tie. Loki knew that she wouldn’t have fit in any of his sweatpants, if anything, she’d probably fit in one of the pant legs. So, he had grabbed a pair of clean shorts with a drawstring, one of his t-shirts, and his bathrobe to keep her comfortable and warm.</p>
<p>He had showered and changed into grey soft sweatpants and a form fitting black t-shirt. Although not being able to put his finger on it, seeing Emily in his clothes was releasing some almost primal and possessive thoughts in his mind. If that wasn’t enough, her soft thank yous and sweet blushes were the icing on the cake to these thoughts. </p>
<p>Emily sat up now, feeling Loki’s thigh muscles twitch underneath where her head had rested. Her eyebrows lifted up in surprise to see a faint blush on his face. </p>
<p>“Well, we are warmed up now. Would you like a tour of the house, darling?” Emily could sense there was something ever so slightly off, but decided against questioning him at his eagerness to stand up and give her a tour. </p>
<p>“Absolutely! I do remember you telling me that there’s a personal library I’d very much like to see.” Emily started following Loki back through the incredible kitchen. </p>
<p>“Yes, I will be showing that room to you as well as the music room.” Emily softly smiled hearing the excitement in Loki’s voice. The library was on the second floor more so hidden in one of the last bedrooms down the hall. The entire room from floor to ceiling was filled with shelves of different genres of books. The middle of the room held soft plush green couches and blankets. There was also a fluffy black rug that looked most inviting to feel under one’s feet. The further they ventured into the room, Emily noticed a small nook to the right. Peaking around the corner, she was greeted with a wooden desk filled with what appeared to be lyrics and notes. </p>
<p>“Yes, um. That is one of the places I prefer to write music. There or quite obviously the music room.” Loki attempted to keep his voice confident, but there was a slight vulnerability in showing Emily his private places of study. Emily offered him a big grin as she looked at him and then again gazing over the entire room. </p>
<p>“This is such a neat space. Although it’s as big as my entire apartment,” Emily and Loki laughed amiably. “If possible I’d want to sneak this lovely library into my place.” </p>
<p>“Well, you’re welcomed to it whenever you want, my dear.” Emily rose up on her tiptoes, making Loki eagerly lean downwards. With a soft sweet peck of Emily’s lips on his own, she lowered herself to normal height and thanked him for sharing the space with her. </p>
<p>As they continued on with the tour, Loki showed her the guest bedrooms and bathrooms. Emily bit her lip as she followed Loki into his own bedroom. She couldn’t believe the thoughts that were popping into her mind, but at the same time, couldn’t help but indulge in them. She swallowed hard staring at Loki standing near his four poster bed...a huge bed. Soft dark green duvet, dark wooden posts. Yes, that definitely matched her Loki. Her eyes wandered back to her boyfriend, now leaning against one of the posts, oblivious to her staring. She’d never not be attracted to those long legs that hid beneath the soft fabric of his pants. Despite the litheness of his muscles, while she had rested her head in his lap, she couldn’t help but notice the strong thick muscular thighs that she had used for a pillow. As her eyes scanned upwards, she took in the lithe muscular arms bent slightly as he rested his hands in his front pockets. His black hair falling around his shoulders, framing a perfectly pale face with pink thin lips turned up in a smirk. A smirk? Oh! Emily felt her face flame as she realized what she had been doing.  </p>
<p>“See something you like, darling?” </p>
<p>“I...Loki, I’m sorry. That was so rude of me. I didn’t--” Loki held up a hand and waved off her concern. Losing the playfulness a bit, he walked over to her and bent down to deliver a gentle kiss to her forehead. </p>
<p>“Emily, I’m not offended in the slightest. You find me attractive, yes?” Oh good heavens, Emily thought. If a face could combust from blushing she would have done so several times over. </p>
<p>“Yes. Very much so.” She couldn’t look at him as she admitted such. Yes she had told him time and time again how handsome he was, but the way in which he had said <em> attractive </em> felt somehow beyond that. A gentle touch below her chin from Loki’s fingers made her raise her flaming face up to Loki who wore a soft smile. </p>
<p>“Thank you, darling. I find you quite attractive as well.” Loki was mildly amused to see her gasp quietly. </p>
<p>“Oh! Thank you. It’s not everyday I sport the look of wearing clothes hundreds of sizes too big.” She gave a little pose, and with that they both laughed and moved on with the tour. Loki headed towards his music room with Emily following. </p>
<p>He had been confused with her silence after he had said, “and this is my bedroom. What do you think?” He had at first thought she didn’t hear him, but as he turned to her to repeat himself leaning against his post, he was caught off guard by her staring at his legs. As her eyes traveled up his body he realized she was bluntly checking him out. Feeling a swell of insecurity, he waited for her final judgment. Until then, he plastered a smirk to give off confidence that quickly grew genuine as he saw the look in her eyes. It was refreshing to know that she desired him as much as he desired her. </p>
<p>Off the kitchen and through double glass doors he led her to a room filled with instruments, pianos, shelves of records, and a record player.</p>
<p>"Wow. These instruments are incredible. How did you obtain them all?" Emily reverently ran her fingertips over the keys of a shiny baby grand piano. </p>
<p>"Thank you, most of these were Mr. Nilsson's. He gave them to me over the years. I had to keep them in storage for a while, but I'm happy to have them clean and tuned now safe in my home." Emily nodded her head in agreement and then saw something that caught her eye. Squeaking in glee, Emily wandered through the large room over to the shelves of records. </p>
<p>“Loki! These are incredible. You must have dozens and dozens of them!” She turned hearing the static of a record about to play. Loki had just placed the stylus down and smiled over at Emily as he beckoned her over with his index finger. A zing of excitement ran down her entire body at the gesture and she found her feet quickly approaching Loki. </p>
<p>
  <em> Put your head on my shoulder </em>
</p>
<p>“May I have this dance?” Biting her lip with a forming smile, she nodded and positioned herself in front of Loki as he smoothly wrapped his hand around her waist and grasped her hand. Emily rested her other hand up on his shoulder. Soft rumble of thunder echoed off in the distance as the rain began to lessen. </p>
<p>
  <em> Put your lips next to mine, dear </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Won't you kiss me once, baby? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Just a kiss goodnight, maybe </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> You and I will fall in love  </em>
</p>
<p>As they continued to sway and gently step to the beat of the music, Emily slowly leaned in to rest her head against Loki’s chest, enjoying the calming thud of his heart. Loki wrapped his arms around her and held her close as they continued to sway. Emily smiled into his shirt as she felt the vibrations of his voice when he began to sing along. </p>
<p>
  <em> Put your head on my shoulder </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Whisper in my ear, baby </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Words I want to hear </em>
</p>
<p>They continued to hold each other close as the following songs played. Kisses, laughter, and gentle touches were shared as the afternoon grew into evening. The ping in the laundry room alerted them that their clothes were dry. Pulling away from Loki, Emily stretched and gave him a dazed smile. </p>
<p>“Is it okay, if I stay in your clothes? I might grab my bra and underwear, but this bathrobe is really cozy.” </p>
<p>“I am not going to lie, Emily. It is a great difficulty of mine saying no to you.” Emily giggled.</p>
<p>“Oh really? Hm. Can I please have chocolate cake with a big glass of milk?” Loki chuckled as he reached over to her. </p>
<p>“Careful, darling.” He playfully growled as he began tickling her sides, bringing sweet laughter to his ears.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>In the later evening, they had eaten homemade pizza that they had made together. Somehow Emily and Loki both ended up covered in flour, but were laughing too hard to really care. Loki had given them aprons to wear, so most of the flour was kept off their clothes. Their faces however, that was another story. They now sat at his kitchen table drinking hot soothing tea. </p>
<p>“You know, you will still be attractive when you're an old man.” Loki almost spat his tea as he recovered with a cough. </p>
<p>“I beg your pardon?” Emily giggled a little handing Loki a napkin.</p>
<p>“Your hair. It’s still speckled with flour. Just made me think twenty years from now, and what you’ll look like.” Loki wrinkled his nose slightly trying to imagine what she saw, but couldn’t really understand what she meant. Also, did that mean Emily saw herself being with him that long? It warmed his heart. Eventually he chuckled and shook his head. </p>
<p>“My dear, you didn’t tell me you were interested in older men?” The dramatic tone he used made his teasing evident. </p>
<p>“Hey!” Emily laughed, but then grew a thoughtful face as she tapped her finger against her chin. “Well, I suppose you are right. I mean, aren’t you older than me?” Before he could quip back, a realization hit him. He didn’t know his girlfriend’s birthday. Shit. What if he missed it and Emily thinks he just didn’t care?</p>
<p>“Emily, when’s your birthday?” </p>
<p>“Oh! Not for a few months. It’s in October. The 30th. I’m practically a Halloween baby.” She giggled. “Wait, when’s yours? I didn’t miss it right? Oh Loki, I am so sorry if I did.” </p>
<p>“Not at all dear, that was my worry as well with your birthday. Mine is January tenth.” In reality, he didn’t know his exact day of birth. Frigga had told him one day that his birthday was the day she picked, the day she brought him home to be her son. He was a few weeks old already when he had been dropped off. He didn’t plan on telling Emily that of course. That he was unwanted. Would that change her views of him? Surely not, he was just in his own head. </p>
<p>“Loki?” He sighed knowing his thoughts were again trying to pull him away from the present. </p>
<p>“October is a lovely time for a birthday. Let’s see. Amanda is twenty-five according to Mark. So you will be about that or twenty-six?” Emily noticed his thoughts seemed to trouble him, but she respected his choice to move on. </p>
<p>“Actually, I was a year ahead in school. Graduated college when I was twenty-one. So, I’ll be twenty-four this year.” Loki blinked. Emily was only twenty-three right now? Her maturity and wisdom made him think she was at least twenty-six. Of course in appearance she didn’t look past twenty one. Emily bit her lip hard in slight worry. Did he think she was too young now? </p>
<p>“Forgive me for my pause. That’s a lovely age. I suppose you are a bit younger than I.”</p>
<p>“And, how much younger is that?” Loki smirked. </p>
<p>“Guess.” He folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair with Emily’s favorite playful smirk. </p>
<p>“Hm. I’m really bad at this...heads up. Well, Nanda says Mark is almost thirty. So...I’d say you are anywhere from twenty-seven to thirty-one.” Loki put a hand on his heart and winced. </p>
<p>“You think I'm already in my thirties?” Emily giggled.</p>
<p>“Just tell me!” Loki chuckled.</p>
<p>“I’ll be twenty-nine next January.” Or was he turning twenty-nine closer to November or December? For some reason it still bothered him no one really cared enough to write down his actual day of birth. Maybe they couldn’t. Years ago he came to the conclusion he probably wasn’t even born in a hospital.</p>
<p>“So twenty-eight. Five years isn’t too terrible a difference to you, right?” Loki instantly picked up on her insecurity.</p>
<p>“No, darling. I’d say it’s perfect.” He smiled reassuringly at her.</p>
<p>“Good! I think so too. So, since we are talking about birthdays, I think you mentioned I was invited to your niece’s fourth birthday party?” They both got up from the table and put their dishes in the sink for now. Walking back towards the living room, Loki had plopped down wrapping his arms around Emily as she nestled into his side. </p>
<p>“Yes, it will be in September. Apparently the theme is Disney princesses and fairies.” Emily laughed.</p>
<p>“What a combination. Are guests expected to dress up?” </p>
<p>“I’m not quite sure. If they are, I’ll let you know ahead of time.” Emily nodded her head enthusiastically.</p>
<p>“Yes, because then we need to plan our outfits together.” Loki raised an eyebrow down at her. </p>
<p>“<em>Our </em>outfits?” </p>
<p>“If I’m dressing up in something, so are you mister.” Loki laughed and entwined his fingers with hers. “I remember having dress up parties. Especially for birthday parties, cause everyone would dress up in their Halloween costumes.” </p>
<p>“And what did little Emily dress up as?” </p>
<p>“Well, when I was really young, I dressed up as a ladybug. I remember loving the little creatures. So grandma made me a red round flat costume with black spots sewn on the wing flaps. Then she glued black curled pipe cleaners on my headband for the antennas.” Emily giggled in memory. Loki pictured a tiny Emily adorned in what she described and couldn’t help but think it might be the cutest thing ever imagined. “In my elementary years it was things like princesses, mermaids, fairies, and Wonder Woman.” </p>
<p>“Young Emily, saving the day as Wonder Woman. I’d like to see that.” Emily laughed and pushed his shoulder a little in mock offence. </p>
<p>“What about you? Did you dress up for birthday parties or Halloween? Maybe it’s different in the UK.” Loki inwardly sighed. </p>
<p>“Well, no I’m fairly certain children still dress up for Halloween there as well.” He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. Emily began to frown in concern. She sat up from where she had been leaning on his shoulder to face him easier. From what it sounded like, he didn’t participate in Halloween as a child. </p>
<p>“I see. So something you weren’t into...or discouraged from participating in?” Loki chuckled to himself, but Emily didn’t like the hollow humorless tone it held. </p>
<p>“I believe from your guesses we’ll go with strongly discouraged from participating. No, although my brother went out sometimes. He is four years older, so it was easier for him to sneak away. I remember in school other children talking about their plans and mentioning carving into pumpkins or other vegetables. When I was seven, I brought home a small pumpkin from the market. Don’t remember if I was going to carve it, but it was something I had bought with my own money on the way home from school.” That was all he could tell Emily without getting overly emotional. It was pathetic really, but Emily had already seen him have a full blown panic attack. No need for repeating it, especially since they had such a lovely day. </p>
<p>“I see. Well I’m glad you were able to celebrate in your own way. I bet that pumpkin meant a lot to you.” Emily softly smiled as she felt Loki was withholding something from her. For whatever reasons she didn’t know, but she’d let it go for now. Perhaps it wasn’t something pleasant for him to bring up. </p>
<p>“Yes, it did mean a lot.” He remembered how he ran into the kitchen holding the small round pumpkin in both his hands to show his mother. His stomach dropped when he realized his father was in there too. By the smell of alcohol, Loki knew to be careful. Before he could sneak out of the room, he was seen. His mother had calmly asked what he had. Stuttering to answer in the presence of his father, Loki eventually told her it was a Halloween pumpkin. Odin had been angered at Loki’s interruption of whatever was going on before he came in. And so, without ceremony, Odin had ripped the thing out of Loki’s hands before he could protest, and smashed it into the hard kitchen floor. Loki had of course began crying, and his father took off his belt. </p>
<p>“Always weak.” Loki hadn’t realized he mumbled under his breath at the memory until Emily questioned him.</p>
<p>“Loki?” She kept her voice soft. “Whatever’s on your mind...you can share with me if you would like to. No pressure or anything, but I want you to know you’re safe with me.” Although quite mumbled, Emily could have sworn Loki had called himself weak. The pattern was clear to see now. Any mention of childhood or family, he froze or became very withdrawn. He had even told her once that he hadn’t had the warmest childhood. No, if anything from what she was gathering, he had a very cold childhood. </p>
<p>Loki lightly startled feeling Emily wrap her arms around him in a hug. He wanted to share with her, tell her what happened, but his adoption might come up...and he couldn’t take it all at once. Pathetic he told himself, but was uncertain if those were his own thoughts, or the echoes of his adoptive father’s. He didn’t deserve this amazing woman who has offered him such support and love. Love.</p>
<p>Yes, he was falling in love with Emily. For sure he was certain of that. </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading, more to come!<br/>Comments and/or kudos are appreciated :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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